more
about sex STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION
Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been,
both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it
must be so.
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must
decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that
decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.
But it must be more than a hope or a whish, more than knowing that it
is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up
your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to
resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may
come to you.
After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific
guidelines:
A Guide to Self-Control:
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal
toilet processes.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay
in this good company.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem,
YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people
having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit
together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind.
Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your
mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it
really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in
the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe
and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where
you will have some member of your family present.
5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most
part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily
touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time
consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to
remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your
thinking that the temptation would leave you.
6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT
OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is
in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and
despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this
suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the
subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem.
Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The
thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to
remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free
of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books
-- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern
too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of
Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New
Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark,
Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful
because of their uplifting qualities.
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that
will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith,
pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries,
the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE
PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN
CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your
mind!
The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect [sic] on how
easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made
to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the
behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may
trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.
We are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and are to be clean
so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us. Masturbation is a sinful
habit that robs one of the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional
stress. It is not physically harmful unless practiced in the extreme.
It is a habit that is totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no
way expresses the proper use of the procreative power given to man to
fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore separates a person from God and
defeats the gospel plan.
This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect
testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings
become burdensome, offerings.
To help in planning an effective program to overcome the problem a
brieation is given of how the reproductive organs in a young man
function.
The testes in your body are continually producing hundreds of millions
of reproductive cells call _spermatozoa_. These are moved up a tube
called the _vas deferens_ to a place called the _ampulla_ where they
are mixed with fluids from two membranous pouches called _seminal
vesicles_ and the _prostate gland_. The resultant fluid is
_calleeminal vesicles_ are full a _signa_ to the _central nervous
system_ indicating they are ready to benother, depending on such
things as exercise, state of health, etc. everal times a week, for
others It is normal for the vesicles to be emptied occasionally at
night during the emptying of come from the central nervous system.
Often an erotic dream is experienced at the same time, and is a part
of this normal process. Instead ourse, the reproductive system is
operating at a more rapid pace, trying to keep up with the loss of
semen. When he stops the habit, the body will continue to produce at
his increased rate, for an indefese are not harmful and are to be
endured until the normal central nervous system pathway of rel During
this period of control several things can be done to make the pr As
one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming
masturbation can be implemented using some of t Remember it is
essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can
be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.
Suggestions:
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will
strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and not lout when
the temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce
emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the
solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel
stress increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to those
thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen
Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your
thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year
and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself
to _never again_ you will always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a
changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and
in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan
to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with
your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and
talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and
learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of
developing friendships found in books such as _How to Win Friends and
Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel
lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can
trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance
to counter these low periods through various activities, such as
reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with
you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color
the day black. Your goal will be to have _no black days_. The calendar
becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked
at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar
up until you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain
times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what
your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how
it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique
called _aversion therapy_. When we associate or think of something
very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but
undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel
out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very
distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop
the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of
having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do
the act.
12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom
door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total
privacy. Take cool brief showers.
13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no
matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day
with an enthusiastic activity.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of
fluids before retiring.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as
lightly as possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not
binding.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might
create sexual excitement.
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in
overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even
in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed
frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a
semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by
wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove
while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be
a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or
reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a
continuing reminder of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns
which were part of your problem. _Satan Never Gives Up_. Be calmly and
confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win
this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give
your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and
fulfillment.
