ouch

Time to take a step back from the doom and gloom of reality and focus on the fluff of everyday life. The half marathon i was supposed to take part in April 1st is a big question mark right now, as i rolled and sprained my ankle playing basketball last Sunday. (I shouldn't have been playing that near to a marathon, but UNC needed me on guard and i couldn't let 'em down) Basically its fucked. That night it swelled nicely and a few days later the bruises appeared above the heal and at the shin.


Three days after. Note it should appear much "bonier."


One week after

Today i wrapped the hell out of it ad hit the treadmills. Yes, i too despise the treadmills, but since winter came back in the form of a slushly, wet, snowy, crap from the sky last night and today, the rat-wheel was what i had. I ran it, but it's sore.

Here's what's great about these pictures: on the first one, you can see in the background my "monkey's playing poker" boxer shorts that Holly got me. Chances are, unless i'm drunk, you're never gonna see those in person. In the second photo, you can see my freakish toes that are webbed between the 2nd and 3rd digit. Makes me a better swimmer and as far as i know, has never been documented on the internet.

See, this web site is like one of those discovery channel medical shows. Also, i learned that's it's very hard to manipulate photoshop so bruises will show up on film. I'm not sure why, but that's good information to have.

beat the drum

"I am more convinced than ever that we should all be prepared for the inevitable collapse of society." There no way to say that sentence without people looking at you oddly. It's not something you can talk about at work. Your family will not engage you in this conversation at Xmas. There's really no reason to think about it very much.

oh well, i'm sure everything will be fine. No need to buy a gun and leave the major urban areas.

Everyone should read "The end of Oil" by Paul Roberts. I also recommend "Crossing the Rubicon" by Michael C. Ruppert.

If you're really into it, try The Long Emergency, Blood and Oil, The Geography of Nowhere... there are other.

Soon i will send those of you on the list a DVD copy of "The end of Suburbia," but it may take some time to get those out. I'll also include some absurd animation that will help take the edge off the other material, and hopefully you'll want to kill yourself less.

quotes

quotes have been popular lately. here's one.

"Reality is that which continues to exist after i stop believing in it."
-Some guy

This would imply that even though I may not be mentally ill, if the world at large is mentally ill... then that is the reality. hmmm. this could be more true than we want to admit.

On the other hand, if we all stop believing in something like, say, numbers... well then numbers would be no more. See, there's a difference between numbers and quantities and we can make number just go away, because they're arbitrary like laws and morals. This is what the guy who sits across from me couldn't understand when i tried to explain that there are no absolutes. His argument was that as an engineer, i have to base my entire mental architecture on a system of absolutes that will continue to hold true under all circumstances. i.e, Math. Duality may include two sides, but your mental assignment of the word "two" is still up in the air. Besides, from a numbers-applications stand point, 50 is a lot closer to infinity than, say, 2, even though are numbers would have us believe otherwise. Consider i have a gun with 50 bullets and you have but 2 rounds. See: infinitely better.

The reason the older, roman system of numerals didn't hold up is because the Romans had no zero. The Arab system, on the other hand, had this key "nothing" number, allowing for a more complex type of math, which was algebra and eventually calculus.

what does it all mean? Reality is that which ceases to exist when i do?

"I bang my head against the wall because it feels good when i stop."

"What good is he if he can't beat Christos?"

i have finally (nearly) finished the total brake re-job on the Fiat. Like a tumor, i just pulled out stuff that was bad, until only good parts were left. This led me to replace the master cylinder, brake fluid reservoir and hoses, and several of the hard-lines that run under the car. Also, the pads, rotors and calipers and flex-lines where replaced on all four corners. The amazing thing is, not only was the system severely leaking fluid, the calipers were rusted frozen and the hand brake was nonexistent. The only way the car could have stopped during the brief drives loading and unloading it on the trailer, was through the friction of the seized calipers. On top of that, who ever re-assembled the brake calipers lat, did it completely wrong, and since i put back the way i found 'em, it took me several hours to figure out what the hell i was doing wrong. Oh, also the hard line into the master was cross-threaded, making that leak and rust as well.

The good news is, now i need only bleed the system and make/tighten the final line connection. Now i just need a friend to come help me out...

I don't know what the hell the guy who did the brakes was thinking, but surprisingly the rest of the car is in pretty decent shape. It's going to need a muffler, which i i'll probably just have done and then i can straighten out the Italian-electrical gremlins. But that's all regardless because once the brake system has been brought online, i can test drive it for the first time.

I have defeated the brakes. What's that Chong Li?

Chong Li: Very good. But brake not hit back!

I'm drunk, so bare with me

i just got back from the local sports team game that i watched from some supplier's ultra-plush suite, the ticket for which i got from my job. See, as an employee of Auto-maker X, supplier Y offered our group tickets to this suite as a way to say "thanks." This was the ultra pimp-yourself event; my boss and his boss and the supplier's and their bosses and everyone's jerking each other off while sporting that shit-eating grin, presumably as a way to make yourself more marketable.

A little background: I knew what this was going to be and told myself i wouldn't go... but for some reason i turned colors and agreed to the ticket. Basically EVERYONE i come into contact with from my job was there. In the end, i decided free booze and food was not to be turned down.

I spent a lot of time talking to the wives because the men folk were busy "talking shop" and "wanking each other"... (i was only given one ticket, so was there solo). Apparently a lot of these people have daughters that are my age, because when it was all said and done, had been offered two daughters and a place to live rent free from my various drunken babbling. (to any of my girlfriends that might read this: i graciously declined all offers, except the one to tag-team that one guy's wife while he video tapes; we're working out the copy-right ownership). All i had to mention was some combination of "Employee of auto maker X" and "grad student" and they were offering up partial nudes of their first born. I wish i had brought a prostitute to help pass the time. In the end, i particularly enjoyed the awkward conversations of filler b.s. i had with my boss's boss, whom i've met only once before, with priceless tags like "how's it going" and "great to see you again."

During the long, shockingly-warm walk back to my car, i resolved (while partly drunk) to give all the money in my wallet to a homeless person, but never had the fortitude to follow through. it seemed like it might be a good way to smite the corporate-wheel-greasing system. In all, several lessons were learned.

1) the suites at "local sports team" arena are all different. Some look like hotel rooms, other look like strip clubs. 97% of the people who populate them are corporate schmucks in bad shirts.

1) middle class greed beats white-guilt every time.

2) it's still okay to drive drunk in detroit. err... partly drunk.

Did i mention that i kinda turned own a job offer earlier with supplier Y? yeah... it would have paid insane money, but i decided it wasn't worth it because i wouldn't have enjoyed the job. i'm not sure what the bigger self-lie was: the previous statement or the idea that i'll find something that *is* fulfilling. Anyway, i met the dude that they ended up giving that job to... I was like "have fun with all that, buddy." It was all oddly satisfying, in a "you screwed that chick that i turned down because i knew she has the hiv, kinda way."

i'm out.

this is very much how i feel about the Fiat.

Y'all need to open your ears up and soak this game up

Allow me to practice my sophist ways:

I have seen the future, my friends, and it doesn't live in a dog-forsaken cubicle. I may be the last to see the light, but my eyes are opening now... It's obvious that working for a giant corporation, sitting in a box under brain frying fluorescent lights and waiting patiently for death is a bad way to earn that 401K. But now those jobs are leaving, which is probably the best thing that could happen for a group of young (good looking), inventive (scrappy) and far-sighted (can hold our liquor) individuals such us. Master P says "Start a business"

Indeed Master P. Indeed.


We aint beefin like nah we on the positive vibe
But i still get the homocide squad on the side
See im holdin on to the steering wheel controllin the ride
And yall comin out a bumpin cuz i got it in drive


We need to come up with the good ideas and begin implementation of plan A. How can it be any riskier than working for the man? I've seen and heard about TOO many people that lose stupid jobs that they hated and end up crying in their beer over the whole deal.

It's time to start that race car school for strippers.

It's time to make a porno with an all Luara Branigan soundtrack.

It's time to start training for that race around the world.

Another night, another day goes by
I never stop myself to wonder why
You help me to forget to play my role
You take my self, you take my self control

indeed Laura Branigan. Indeed.