ahem

WAKE UP AMERICA!!
[que patriotic music]

this is your reality
******
your unfavorable backgrounds and hobos are gone
your ass is flatter and your stomach less repulsive
your custom generated features are better lit
your titties are bigger and symmetrical
your skin is less wrinkled and ragged
your weathered tats are gone
******

smart-funny

This is about the funniest video i've seen on the internet this year.

If you dig, you can see the first 4 episodes here.

Did i mention that today i drove to Toledo and back in a work vehicle? Interesting thing, this particular truck was an pre-production "export" model, which meant the steering wheel was on the right. It was crazy. The hard part as trying to shift and change radio stations with my left hand. The harder part was trying to keep the right wheels out of the center of the lane. The rewarding part was when truckers and such would look over and get that Kramer-esq freaked out look their face.

no talent ass-clowns

having both a) lived in a snowy hell where cars get stuck daily and b) worked in the auto industry... this clip is pretty darn funny.

Training update:

Nearly a week of training lost to sickness with no end in sight. Seems the bird flu came early this year. Also, the family-filled weekend of buffet-oriented entertainment, probably didn't help my cardio situation.

can't get... "no easy way out..." out of head... must workout... in Siberian barn...

i feel like the guy on the right

chicks dig the fury rats

i don't know what the hell is going on.

this seems pretty legit

You will go to jail for: You claimed sex toys as a business expense on your tax forms Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

assignment of worth

My blog is worth $1,693.62.
How much is your blog worth?

those crazy germans pt II

to think, this car is having problems getting into the US because of "safety regulations".

more drabble

I have been inspired to return to my roots. well, pseudo roots, that include a college career full of running. Shit, i took a class in the damn sport (or whatever you want to call) so technically the art or pastime or whatnot of running partially earned me a bachelor's degree. Inspired partly by chestocrates and the Wildman in their ventures, and partly by my growing, daily dependance on alcohol, i've decided to begin training for a marathon. The marathon specifics, i have not yet decided, but i done figured i should be good and ready by the summer, with autumn being my fallback date.

Things may not go well. It wouldn't be the first time i grew bored and just gave up (anyone want to buy that damn guitar?) but i've been putting in a lot of foot-time lately, and though I will not completely adopt a full training schedule until the first of the year, i'm feeling good about this. Plus, as my shoulders have always been my greatest source of anatomical failure, my legs as best as i can recall, have never failed me.

So that's that. I think Ultimate-Patimus will be my "kinda" training partner. We may run a few 10 or 5ks here and there in the mean time. Now where's the beer?

this should entertain youse.
this could be fake, but it makes me think of Chestocrates.

LINKS!

first, yes, Bush is an idiot. Who cares? He wins. He will always win. If you disagree with him you are a minority and should realize that your people are on the losing team.

Second, well, there is no second.

I'm going to sleep

like a sailor without a boat

when did this new "flag" option show up, allowing you to flag blogs with questionable content?

and why doesn't spell check recognize "blog?"

(computer: learn spelling)

well at least that's settled. i need a boat.

oh my

(i wrote this post a few days ago at work, but with the recent re-election of "the man" i feel it's eve more appropriate)

Today as I was pulling into Company X parking lot I saw a man in a suit standing next to his brand new Car. This was a new car that had just recently been released to the public and it was shiny and sleek and hip and modern and all the things a new car should be to appeal to the masses. (It's been selling very well) And the guy himself looked modern and hip and clean and proud and all the things a guy should look to succeed and present himself as so. But then I looked beyond him and saw he and his car were alone in a parking lot of cracked concrete and faded paint, littered with debris. The dreary lot was surrounded by a rusty fence crowned with broken barbed wire, keeping out the derelicts that reside in the burned out hulks, but failing to restrain the overgrown foliage and unkempt lawns. And the further I expanded my field of vision, the dirtier and uglier and more destitute the whole picture became.

That's when I realized I was staring at a perfect picture of Detroit. And I was about to hit a parked car. I avoided the parked car but the collision of contrast left a stain on my brain.

"Fuck the G-rides, I want the machines that are building them"
-Rage Against The Machine

fun time

Ant City

for sale
(with pics)

join up

why everyone is wrong and the whole system is fucked:

Just when i thought i had thoroughly acquainted myself with all the biases levied against a contract worker in a major corporation, i am yet again shocked at my shirt sightedness. Today i discovered that company X has a very nice, large, brand new health club nestled deep in the bowels of the building, featuring expansive spaces and decedent equipment. Further more, even during what should be peak work out hours (lunch time) the facility was nearly completely empty. (i can not help but theorize this has something to with living in Michigan and working with lazy, professional fatties)

Step off that tread mill good man, you sir can walk the streets of the city and lift rocks for endurance. But don't lift car parts, for as an engineer and a non-union member, you shall be cast to the depths of hell.

Of course, i never would have even found the facility if my co-worker and i had goals and tasks with which to fill our day. But, as he put it, this is the most low-tech, un-fulfilling, directionless position i've ever had. And he retired from company X after 30 years of service, coming back as contract, i guess, to make his life a little less boring. guess we both lose.

I have officially given up on Company X and begin anew my search for fulfillment through employment. Also, i will stop whiney now. about work. but watch out for my trash talk about everything else.