content o' the month

I'm feeling nostalgic.



It's been a hell of a month filled with travel, change, new and strange people as well as marking 28 years of me looking around and saying "well that doesn't seem right at all..."

It occurred to me that 2 decades ago I fully believed I would be well into my career as a race car driver by now.


I could not have predicted this cake, either. (though i *did* ask for a vagina cake)


I went back to that old familiar place last weekend to see some old familiar people but as always, nothing is quite as familiar as you remember it. Regardless, a challenging trip that was most rewarding: Me, the bike, a weekend and 900 miles in the High Five State.


I don't feel old but damn do i look old in that picture. I feel old looking at that picture of my old-ass looking self. Maybe it was that familiar post-wedding hang over rearing it's ugliness in my face.

It's been a popular theme in August, the month of drunkeness. I think it's time to dial it back for wile and shake off the cloudiness in the brain. I've got the old stand by, "running until i fall down" which is as much or more so satisfying than drinking until i can't feel feelings. Sadly it does nearly nothing to make un-interesting people seem like you want to talk to this guy.




(the triple digit speeds are dicey without a windshield. Kids, listen to me: install clubman bars)



(by the way)
Epic Ninja Fail
Great sex, wrong person
Surrender
Speaking of pictures

I wasn't in the mood to be rushing around the state and definitely not looking forward to a wedding. I was however happy to find that i would be living in the woods for a day and a half. It was spectacular to stand in the river and walk in the forest. I firmly believe that the world we make for ourselves it too distracting to accomplish any decent thinking. Too many distractions to resolve problems. Instead you just forget about them. Shove 'em under the rug. I'll figure out these confusing things tomorrow... where's my blackberry? (it was turned off for over 24 hours!)

Regardless, the newly weds get double plus ultra points for their blatant disregard for American wedding traditions.






And the only thing better than trees is lively water.




With life!




Sophist in the state of nature

Year 28 of the mission: August has been the most bizar-O month ever. The world is both complicated AND confusing, which is a strange way of saying it's not really complicated at all.



To people that are far away in unfamiliar places: Stay lose out there.


I think I'm ready to open the floor to comments again



(Again with the prostitutes? Again with the prostitutes)

target women

we are the spiders

(ave you seen these things being made? the volume of the spider cannot possibly contain the calories required)

humanity

i have no more faith left in us



(mean while, back at the hall of justice...)

way too much for one day

Chestocrates is posting internet videos and Notorious is in the face book. I will continue my silent and archaic protest against social networking sites and yet somehow manage to convince myself I'm better by sticking to Blogger and Linked-In.

(lalalalalalala I can't hear you)

Then again, change is inevitable and even old military rivals can mend fences. To that point, i've spent 3 of my last 4 weeks in Ohio and almost no one mentions the old wars days.

(Though it did come up once when i was beating those guys at billiards)






-----------Society-----------

--It's pretty simple: Take the traditional wisdom and tell everyone the opposite. It's Orwellian, Bush-esq and why shouldn't it work now?


--i will admit, it's a nice take down... but for riding a bike?




--I have a Man-crush on Zach Braff after watching Garden State last night and learning of his role in the whole thing. Hey J.D.: wanna hang out later? We could ride motorcycles? (Am i the only one that made the connection of Zach Braff roles and odd motorcycles?)


----------Science----------

--Speaking of the Olympics (of which we no longer do, because i decided not to post that video), I caught the opening ceremony (at least 1 of it's 27 hours) at the local Sushi hole. Anyone who knows about my side projects knows they typically involve LEDs and Batteries. Well I've been using some Chinese sources for these parts and now i see why: they've got them all. Billions of LEDs. The whole fucking stadium and everyone in it was covered in them. (of course, seeing an army of LED suits also proves that they're still stealing other technologies and making them better, those bastards)


--Here is a video that will make you smrt. Unfortunately fuel cells will never be the next combustion engine. They won't be found in every car on the planet and they're prohibitively costly, complex and delicate. Or at least i think i think this now.

In related news, I have to admit that Bill O'rielly isn't as biased as the liberal media leads me to believe. Nas DOES NOT AGREE.


--Who would think this is a good idea?. (Sigh... have I become one of the crazies with the foil hat?)


------------other------------

A year ago this time i was living on a small Grecian island off the coast of Turkey.

On one particular day, about a year and a week ago, were walking and came to the base of the small mountain behind the village. We decided we needed to be at the top ASAP, probably because there was no trail and this was a good way to work the previous day's alcohol out of our systems. First we walked and then we climbed. Later there was a road and some old Italian military buildings. The goal was simple and the reward at the top unexpected: an ice cream shop and puppies... (The possibility was briefly considered that we had died en route)



The beginning:



The road was not easy:




But mountain men are born, not made:







We look back to check out progress:



And stop for science:



At the top, there is an oasis with ice cream and puppies and we great the puppies:



The puppies attack:



We use sticks and ice cream to beat the puppies back:



The puppies win and we are enslaved by their fuzziness:





There's a summer storm outside and i want to go check it out

Ladder Redux

In the before time, Notorious introduced us to Ladder theory. I admit, i didn't pay it much attention the first time, but now that I've been brought back to the theory, reintroduced to Notorious' love for this science, and had several car-ride hours to ponder it's validity, I've decided to revisit the concept: I should have realized why it never took hold.


(to make my arguments more believable, please site my stolen internet pictures)

I'm pretty sure Ladder Theory is mostly bunk. It's like saying you need to head north but to what destination... I'm not sure. In fact, I'm not even sure what purpose it is trying to serve because It provides no answers!

--I guess we're meant to realize that people rate potential mates and rank them accordingly... Fair enough. But then what? Why do these rankings have to suffer a First-In-First-Out linear existence? (more on this in a moment)

--Why would women get two ladders? It seems arbitrary... why not one that is connected or an infinite number that vary in weight and severity?

--How the hell do you use it? Just because I know F=MA, how will i know that shaving 100lbs out of the Fiat will make it go faster? How can I determine where those 100lbs can be lost?

--Lastly, Ladder theory provides a false sense of understanding that will more than likely undermined your goals. Man or woman, armed with this new tool, you've either convinced yourself you're stuck on the un-bang-able rung and abandoned all hope or placed yourself squarely on the ready-to-rock bang-tastic position before carrying out the degree of execution such a scenario would require. Either way you've stacked the cards against yourself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this buzz is wearing off and using ladder theory for anything other than drunken debate is like giving a monkey Newton's second law of motion and expecting him/her to pilot a successful space program. Perhaps as a simple law i could buy in but the point that is conveniently skirted is the random nature of human interaction. It's impossible to predict the varying conditions that might alter a person's reaction to another. Booze, drugs, funny t-shirts, history, love, marriage, obligation, head injury, chemical imbalance, gravitational pull, solar flares and magnet influences are in constant flux and simply identifying a universal constant such as "we rate" will not get the variables out of the denominator.

Of course if we concede that ladder theory is analogous to Newton's which-ever law of motion then one might be looking for the text equivalent of, say, Applied Newtonian Physics. I'd suggest it lies somewhere between Niel Strauss' "The Game" and/or "How to Pick Up Trashy Women," which incidentally exists only in a 1985 John Cusack flick; I'll let you all decide which is most applicable.

What's my point?

1) Math is to physics as masturbation is to sex
2) In the hierarchy of life, there's always a customer whose drinkers you're supposed to buy and a supplier who is willing to buy your drinks
3) I'm just a guy in an Ohio motel room with free internet and too much 5 hour energy



By denying you comments i am ensuring all of your opinions are wrong, especially if you agree with me.