My readership has steadilly decreased

Over the last 8 months it's dropped linearly by 75%. I'd show you a chart, but you're smart folks, you can finger it out.

Here's a report on what's happening:




Also, if you haven't seen the Epic Win FTW website, it often looks like this:




Boom.

Mostly just links

NIETZSCHE'S
ANGEL FOOD CAKE.

BY REBECCA COFFEY
- - - -
1. Allow the angel to reach room temperature. Then kill it.

2. Kill God. Set Him aside.

3. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

4. Ecstatically whip, as if possessed by a storm-wind of freedom, 1-1/2 cups of excellent egg whites with 1/4 tsp. salt and 1-1/2 tsp. cream of tartar. Continue until peaks are as if raised to their own heights and given wings in a fine air, a robust air.

5. Gradually add 3/4 cup sugar, about 3 tbsp. at a time.

6. You are brilliant.

7. Now, add 1 tsp. vanilla and 1/4 tsp. almond extract, and then sift together 1-1/4 cups flour and 3/4 cup sugar.

8. Blend in God and the angel. Emboldened, add the egg mixture.

9. Gaze into the überbatter. The überbatter will gaze into you.

10. While prancing about in a frenzy of self-satisfaction and anticipation, use a rubber scraper to push the überbatter into an ungreased 10" tube pan, for it is destined to be there.

11. Bake on a lower rack until done, usually 35-40 minutes, while reciting to the upper rack a long, convoluted anecdote about your childhood.

12. Invert the tube pan over a bottle for a few hours. Then impetuously rap the pan. Shout, "Aha!" and slide a knife along the pan's insides.

13. Call what tumbles out a cake if you dare. Call it miraculous even.

14. Eat it. It is delicate, morbid, loveable, and you will die depressed, delirious, and overweight.

(McSweeny's)


Got a gun? You need a gun.


Be sure to check out the updates to the RACE CAR!

I know how this story ends....I'll even update it for 2010 Ferris has a three way with sloan and his sister, the grease ball gets to thrash a ferrari with a head full of coke he found in the ferrari, and in a strange twist of copycat-ism, Cameron dragged out into the field naked, and shot execution style by his iraq war vetern father - pissed not so much about the ferrari but with the cocaine he stashed in it to keep his mind numb to his deranged wife and the shadows that he thinks is hiding the enemy.....

Speaking of awesome vehicles, this carbon fiber super boat got owned. It makes me sad.



(see more here)

you think you're so great 2010? I seen 29 just like you...

Though i have no misconceptions that i will or even could return to posting with the regularity that i once knew, here's an attempt at something with content:

But first, the WHORES!



I've been thinking about turning 30. It's about 8 months away and i'm starting a mental checklist/reflecting pond so i can sort out what (if anything) it all means. Incidentally it may correspond with the completion of the master's degree (what, you think you my MASTA now?), so i'm thinking "Toga Senior Barrel pt II: Son of Toga Senior Barrel"

Physicist: But who would come?
AS: Yo Momma!
AS: {weeping inside, knowing that her mother *would* come and probably bring a very nice bottle of wine, but people like Yooper Dave, Drunk Roland and Random Slutty Girl #3 would in fact, not be there,)

At times like these i am reminded of the Allegory of the Beer Cave. It must surely be so!


/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


let's talk about breast cancer awareness. First, let is be known, i love boobs. No, it's true- Love 'em. And even as a lover and occasional manic for breasts, i'm a little uncomfortable by the "tits all out there" direction that breast cancer awareness is taking. See, the bumper sticker said "save the ta tas." At that moment i remember all the weird breast cancer awareness stuff i've seen, like the "i <3 boobs" t-shirts and the facebook bra-color status updates and odd bumper stickers and stuff that tries to draw on some combination of shock and primal love of tits. (The over exposure is probably from all the half-marathons; those things tend to attract people that run "for causes" like jesus and boobs or both , though running for a cause and thinking people should give money to your preferred cause because you did something that makes your life better... that's a whole other rant)

Anyway- what you've got now are excuses for frat guys to where I <3 BOOBS tshits and hot girls to draw attention to their own chests and, well, doesn't it make you feel dirty all over? Not, like, morally dirty- I wouldn't know that feeling, but like used-by-corporate-PR-dirty? Maybe it's because i love breasts so much... it's like a member of my family is being exploited to fund-raise! And if you really belived in the cause, isn't there a level of objectification happening, and are you willing to trade that to sell some T-shirts with your slogan? then again, i could be way off... It's been a while since i've rapped at ya'll and maybe i'm losing my edge.


/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


Finally (the Whores?) and as usual, a recap of last year:

Learned to ski
Visited Vermont
Was tossed out of 7 bars in one night
Ruined my favorite boots
Ran a trail half marathon with a (self diagnosed) broken toe
Learned to weld
Built a race car
Planted a garden
Visited Georgia
Bought a Miata
Drove the tail of the dragon
Learned to Heal-Toe shift
Went to Berlin (2x +good)
Stood up in a wedding
Motorbiked to Montreal (3x +wet)
Visited NY (several times)
Moved to Ohio
Invaded the home of the Physicist
Started grad school
Grew some grey hair
Raced a race car
Rode a Ducati
Visited North Carolina
Rode two mechanical bulls
Visited the UP

Plus some other stuff

As the scorpion said to the frog, "it is my nature"

Don't shoot the messenger...

-paraphrased, not original- We frequently hear the complaint that slutty men are applauded and slutty women are disdained. Let me explain why. If you have a key that can open many locks, its the master key, and generally very useful and good. If you had a lock that could be opened by any key, we would consider that a pretty shitty lock, right?

Your mom wasn't your dad's first

The link below is a little crazy-liberal-picket-sign-swinging, but the person did a good job of collecting the advertisements i wish to showcase, as well as providing some amusing re-dubs.

See them here

Remember the god old days when i would update bi-weekly and provide insights into the world as well as hilarious links and life-inspiring anecdotes? Me neither.

Here's some more internet shit to stare at:



Sorry i missed your party dot com

I'm actually anxious to return to my scholastic pursuits. How lame is that? I guess the internet can't offer the hours of mind-stealing entertainment that it once did.


Yup, the back of the party has been broken.







(nah, it's still funny)

two things

Today a physicist suggested I name my book "A Curious Tongue: The {My Name} Story."

Agreed.


Also,

Winter Projects

I love technology and even in the hands of the bad guys it warms my techno-heart to see simply solutions used for what must ave seemed like insurmountably complicated problems. (HTF are we gonna escape the drones?) This sadly was not one of my winter projects but the motorcycle is...


The W650 sits in wait in the basement. Just before retiring it i ran some Seafoam through it like everyone has been raving about and it immediately killed one of the cylinders from firing. My instinct tells me its just a fouled plug. I hope my instinct is right. To do list includes rebuilding the clutch, replacing the plugs, mild tear down and cleaning of the carbs and general cleaning of the 8k miles worth of grime is has accumulated in the short year I've owned it.


Finally, I've been heavily researching suspensions upgrades for the Miata. To give you an idea of how bad things are, this guy made a video of the stock set-up.



The problem is, like everything else in the modern world, the new Miata has been pussi-fied into a bland, all-appealing former shell of it's self. The good news is, by simply adding stiffer anti-sway bars i can turn this day-time housewife into full-fledged stripper-wife! From there a set of coil-over shocks and raspy exhaust would be almost sinful to postpone.

so lonely