There's too much uncertainty in the world these days, too many things we can't count on anymore. That's why I think you'll be happy to hear there's a 100% chance that I'll be taking my clothes off tonight.
We're in the midst of a classic tale, you and I. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl go to Applebee's. Boy exposes himself to girl. Sorry if that's not how dates end in your prudish ivory tower, but this isn't about you, it's about trying to get this night back on track and make things right.
You want to see what thirty-five minutes of elliptical machine a month can do to a man's body? You're about to. You want to cradle me in your capable arms and tell me everything's going to be okay? That can also be arranged.
It's called spontaneity if you're not familiar with the term. Another term you should familiarize yourself with is psoriasis. My inner thighs look like relief maps of South America. Sorry if that makes you uneasy, but life isn't always neatly wrapped up in a little box with a pretty bow. Sometimes that little box has a patchy skin disease that flares up without any goddamned warning.
Fact: you are throwing me more signals than a third base coach who's trying to have sex with me. Fact: I am reading you loud and clear and I'm heading straight for home, unencumbered by garments. Don't let playful euphemisms like that lull you into thinking I'm keeping my clothes on, because that's not an option at this point. Mentally, I'm already very naked. It's just a baby step from here.
Look, no one said dating was going to be easy. The sooner you come to grips with that, the sooner you can let your guard down and start exploring my body like a budding archeologist who just unearthed a terra cotta warrior. A warrior whose armor and undergarments appear to have eroded over time. Whoopsy-daisy.
Enough talk. It's time to check your inbox because there's an invitation to an epidermis party. It's from me. No need to RSVP, you're already here. And so's my body. If you need to brush up on some old biology curriculum, now's your chance because it's about to get anatomical up in here, and I don't have time to explain to you how my body works.
We're moments away from doing the kinds of things we couldn't have done if I kept my clothes on. It's like those final seconds of anticipation before a thunderstorm. But no slicker's going to protect you from this nasty forecast. It's about to rain three to four inches of me. Possibly five, but I can't promise anything.
source
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Saturday, June 05, 2010
sigh
Yesterday i got this:
from Eric Walkinshaw
date Fri, Jun 4, 2010 at 10:15 AM
subject Fwd: Ohio needs your help...
Mike is right about this one. This is America and if you want to live here, learn English. And the Mexican already know that drunk driving is a crime. The police don't need to advertise it!
An America Patriot
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mike Jordan
Date: Thu, Jun 3, 2010 at 10:49 PM
Subject: Ohio needs your help...
To: Mike Jordan
If this doesn’t offend you, you are NOT a true AMERICAN!
This is the only one left up as of this evening that I know of...someone tore down the one that was posted across the street from PNC on 741.
I’m guessing it will only be a matter of time before someone tears this one down, I hope so anyway.
This is CRAZY! The last time I looked this was STILL AMERICA!
I was SO furious, I stopped into the Miami Township Police Department and let them know as an American I was totally offended by this and this was unacceptable.
Anyway, I let them no with out any doubt that I was going to posts this and any other images they put up like this on the internet, send it to Congressman Mike Turner and anyone else that will listen.
Also that I was going to get together a group of people an protest the Miami Township Police Department until they took these signs down.
So PLEASE send this to any and everyone you know of that is proud to be an American... Are you ready for this???? Check out the officers they told me to contact to complain to...kinda ironic huh?
CALL THIS OFFICER AND LET HIM KNOW THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE IN OHIO!
Major Di Piezero
937-433-2418.
If you are offended by this as much as I am, please make your voice heard, call and let them know!
Also, it wouldn’t hurt to write Mike Turner as well.
http://www.turner.house.gov/Contact/
As I’ve always said...if no one speaks up, it will only get worse because if you don’t speak up now, one day you’ll wake up and wonder what happened. By that time it will be too late to have your voice heard.
Wake up people...not only did we get the health care shoved down out throats, they will enforce this on us as well unless we stop it!
Thanks
Mike
This photo was taken at the Miami Township Police Department this evening 6-3-2010.
(Sophist says: Imagine a photo here of an ANTI Drunk Driving banner written in Spanish)
******************************************************************
Today i sent this
from Sophist@sophist.address
to Eric Walkinshaw
date Sat, Jun 5, 2010 at 8:24 PM
subject Re: Ohio needs your help...
mailed-by gmail.com
Patriot Eric,
I don't know you and you don't know me, but it seems we've exchanged emails in the past. I've read what you forwarded me here, considered the call to action and would like to offer a counter proposal. Instead of everyone going batshit crazy over a poster, why don't you open your eyes to the shit that matters in Ohio and champion something worthwhile?
Here's a good one:
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2010/06/02/ohio-supreme-court-speed-estimate-valid.html?sid=101
Here's another:
http://gizmodo.com/5553765/are-cameras-the-new-guns
I guess I'm too simple to understand why i should care about a banner on a fence when everyday I'm inundated with examples of stupid and pointless laws born of this mentality; Imagined security from a piece of paper, created because someone's delicate sensibilities were offended. More fuel for a painful bureaucracy and, in other cases, the eroding away of my freedom to be left alone. Or like the two examples above, another nail in the coffin of "Innocent until proven guilty." You know, the stuff that *should* have people rioting in the streets.
Anyway, having found Mike's work insightful and inspiring, I've taken a cue from its originality and decided to forward your email to everyone in my contact list. I've described how you're out of control and need to be stopped and encouraged them to contact you directly so we can put a stop to the madness. I mean, last time i checked, I thought this was 'Merica?
-Patriot (Sophist's real name)
P.S.
My $125 offer for the muffler still stands.
*************************************************
UPDATE!
From: Eric Walkinshaw
Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2010 20:52:20 -0400
To: Curt Zackiewicz
Subject: Re: Ohio needs your help...
Well I'm not surprised that a motorhead like you would be offended by the idea that a police officer can judge the speed of a car by sight. In fact, I agree that the speed of a car can be determined reasonably accurately by a trained observer. Of course, guys like you want to go speeding around in your cars. BTW, I sold the muffer to another clown. Did I mention that I considered most of the MX-5 crowd a bunch of fags?
Ciao
Editor's note: i think i understand now the enjoyment trolls get out of being internet trolls.
from Eric Walkinshaw
date Fri, Jun 4, 2010 at 10:15 AM
subject Fwd: Ohio needs your help...
Mike is right about this one. This is America and if you want to live here, learn English. And the Mexican already know that drunk driving is a crime. The police don't need to advertise it!
An America Patriot
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mike Jordan
Date: Thu, Jun 3, 2010 at 10:49 PM
Subject: Ohio needs your help...
To: Mike Jordan
If this doesn’t offend you, you are NOT a true AMERICAN!
This is the only one left up as of this evening that I know of...someone tore down the one that was posted across the street from PNC on 741.
I’m guessing it will only be a matter of time before someone tears this one down, I hope so anyway.
This is CRAZY! The last time I looked this was STILL AMERICA!
I was SO furious, I stopped into the Miami Township Police Department and let them know as an American I was totally offended by this and this was unacceptable.
Anyway, I let them no with out any doubt that I was going to posts this and any other images they put up like this on the internet, send it to Congressman Mike Turner and anyone else that will listen.
Also that I was going to get together a group of people an protest the Miami Township Police Department until they took these signs down.
So PLEASE send this to any and everyone you know of that is proud to be an American... Are you ready for this???? Check out the officers they told me to contact to complain to...kinda ironic huh?
CALL THIS OFFICER AND LET HIM KNOW THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE IN OHIO!
Major Di Piezero
937-433-2418.
If you are offended by this as much as I am, please make your voice heard, call and let them know!
Also, it wouldn’t hurt to write Mike Turner as well.
http://www.turner.house.gov/Contact/
As I’ve always said...if no one speaks up, it will only get worse because if you don’t speak up now, one day you’ll wake up and wonder what happened. By that time it will be too late to have your voice heard.
Wake up people...not only did we get the health care shoved down out throats, they will enforce this on us as well unless we stop it!
Thanks
Mike
This photo was taken at the Miami Township Police Department this evening 6-3-2010.
(Sophist says: Imagine a photo here of an ANTI Drunk Driving banner written in Spanish)
******************************************************************
Today i sent this
from Sophist@sophist.address
to Eric Walkinshaw
date Sat, Jun 5, 2010 at 8:24 PM
subject Re: Ohio needs your help...
mailed-by gmail.com
Patriot Eric,
I don't know you and you don't know me, but it seems we've exchanged emails in the past. I've read what you forwarded me here, considered the call to action and would like to offer a counter proposal. Instead of everyone going batshit crazy over a poster, why don't you open your eyes to the shit that matters in Ohio and champion something worthwhile?
Here's a good one:
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2010/06/02/ohio-supreme-court-speed-estimate-valid.html?sid=101
Here's another:
http://gizmodo.com/5553765/are-cameras-the-new-guns
I guess I'm too simple to understand why i should care about a banner on a fence when everyday I'm inundated with examples of stupid and pointless laws born of this mentality; Imagined security from a piece of paper, created because someone's delicate sensibilities were offended. More fuel for a painful bureaucracy and, in other cases, the eroding away of my freedom to be left alone. Or like the two examples above, another nail in the coffin of "Innocent until proven guilty." You know, the stuff that *should* have people rioting in the streets.
Anyway, having found Mike's work insightful and inspiring, I've taken a cue from its originality and decided to forward your email to everyone in my contact list. I've described how you're out of control and need to be stopped and encouraged them to contact you directly so we can put a stop to the madness. I mean, last time i checked, I thought this was 'Merica?
-Patriot (Sophist's real name)
P.S.
My $125 offer for the muffler still stands.
*************************************************
UPDATE!
From: Eric Walkinshaw
Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2010 20:52:20 -0400
To: Curt Zackiewicz
Subject: Re: Ohio needs your help...
Well I'm not surprised that a motorhead like you would be offended by the idea that a police officer can judge the speed of a car by sight. In fact, I agree that the speed of a car can be determined reasonably accurately by a trained observer. Of course, guys like you want to go speeding around in your cars. BTW, I sold the muffer to another clown. Did I mention that I considered most of the MX-5 crowd a bunch of fags?
Ciao
Editor's note: i think i understand now the enjoyment trolls get out of being internet trolls.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Motorcycle Update
When i first dropped pictures of the reworked bike it was, as it turns out, mostly show and very little go. The carb tuning was a train wreck and required some fiddling that i didn't have the time for. Today i finally stole away enough ticks to put the last couple hours in to get it sorted (turns out the key is ZERO washer spacers). With the insights of people from around the Midwest, it now pulls hard, runs a little less "smooth," often smells of hydrocarbons and in general wreaks of badass-ary.
Here it is without the side cover reinstalled and sporting the tank bag that doubles as a high-speed chest cushion.
It's not exactly where i'd like it to be and at WOT still has the slightest hint of hesitation in the 5 to 6k range but i think i've tuned the carbs as close as these factory parts will allow. In other words, the resolution of the problem is too fine to eliminate. In other, other words, its good enough.
Also, the breather is spewing a bit of oil, the paint on the tank peeled off where it was touching the tank bag (after leaving it out in the sun one day) and the air filters seem awfully loose, though I've yet to lose one with 200 miles of riding. In short: it's completely awesome, full of character and far exceeds my expectations for this project.
Here it is without the side cover reinstalled and sporting the tank bag that doubles as a high-speed chest cushion.
It's not exactly where i'd like it to be and at WOT still has the slightest hint of hesitation in the 5 to 6k range but i think i've tuned the carbs as close as these factory parts will allow. In other words, the resolution of the problem is too fine to eliminate. In other, other words, its good enough.
Also, the breather is spewing a bit of oil, the paint on the tank peeled off where it was touching the tank bag (after leaving it out in the sun one day) and the air filters seem awfully loose, though I've yet to lose one with 200 miles of riding. In short: it's completely awesome, full of character and far exceeds my expectations for this project.
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