blog EXPLOSION! (am i drunk?)

"The liberty of man consists solely in this, that he obeys the laws of nature because he has himself recognized them as such, and not because they have been imposed upon him externally by any foreign will whatsoever, human or divine, collective or individual."
--Mikhail Bakunin


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JON STEWART: I was convinced an Obama/McCain campaign would be measurably different on almost all standards. And to watch it become Bush/Kerry, Bush/Gore, has been one of the most dissatisfying experiences.

STEPHEN COLBERT: That means it's not an Obama/McCain campaign. It's a Guys Who Work for Bush/Guys Who Work for Kerry campaign. Both sides have people who are just smart enough to know "We need to tweak this dial right here," so of course voters are divided 50/50 between the parties. When the 2000 election was down to 14 voters in Boca deciding the whole thing, I thought, "'Wow, that's great! It really is a political science! They've found a way to put electrodes in people's hands, and a probe up their butt, show them images, and say 'See how they respond!'"

STEWART: That's why you think to yourself, "Hey, couldn't you guys tie for $10 million, instead of a trillion? Does it really cost that much money to tie?"

Good stuff from the comedy central

COLBERT: The idea that Lehman Brothers doesn't get any money and AIG does reminds me very much of ''Iran is a mortal enemy because they have not achieved a nuclear weapon. But North Korea is a country we can work with, because they have a nuclear weapon.'' The idea is, Get big or go home. How big can you f--- up? Can you f--- up so bad that you would ruin the world economy? If it's just 15,000 who are out of jobs, no. You have to actually be a global f---up to get any help.

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It's becoming pretty obvious that i need to find a new job.




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Science:

The kids are using the the Hulu I assure you.

This seems... Dubious. I can give you 5 reasons.

But if it's true.. you can sign me up.

(not for this reason... well, not ONLY that reason.)

The Chinese: Not fucking around.

The Japanese: Not fucking around.


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Not science

best mix up ever

Well, kind of science... but also sex. But then again, it's kind of the same thing, right?



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Finally, i will mention that i am two tattoos richer but will not sully their awesomeness by spewing their picture all over the internet where any peter picture picker or harry hacker can copy paster and distribute at his/her will. Instead i will insist that you appear in person and convince me to de-shirt if you want to bask in their wicked awesomeness. That is all.



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Guess what: The H is O.

Come tomorrow morning i'm gonna have Glen Fry Stank all over me.

(Why would you SHOW me that?!)

Dallas Texas

(who are you?)


Seriously Dallas Texas, how can you hit this blog so much? I've put a bit of thought into this and come up with some theories:


1) You're a robot. If this is the case I'll see you in robot hell (well, not exactly. I'll be in person hell, which has more fire but no electro-static discharge machines or high powered magnets.) Regardless, lets not forget that this whole deal started as a robot extermination service several years ago when i was getting in on the ground floor of what will obviously be a key future service. This scenario is moderately likely.

2) You're a friend of one of my friends, probably one of which also has a blog and/or webpage that i have referenced here before or in turn has linked back to me. You're not particularilly interested in "knowing" me per say, but you've decided to read up on the last 4 years of my ramblings. You probably like the pretty pictures. This scenario is almost impossible.

3) You are the government/CIA/FBI/BLT/NSA/ELF/ATF/QWERTY/etc. This scenario is likely unlikely... unless it's not.

4) You're not actually a single person but the shared I.P. address of an entire house/sorority that has fallen deeply in lust with my witty verse and complete disregard for "falling in line" with the "the Man's agenda." You probably attend an small, private, over-bearing, all female school and you're likely rich and wearing skimpy uniforms. This is obviously the most plausible scenario.

Whatever the case, you obviously didn't have a lot going on Sunday night. (of course, well, neither did I)



But lets be serious. We all know that you are obviously an extremely attractive female that either wants to sleep with me or harvest my kidneys and various other organs. This is actually perfect because I'm highly interested in meeting anyone with either of those agendas. I figure at the end of the night, whether the objective (which every one it is) is met or not, I'm gonna have a hell of a story. This is probably why I'm so partial to Russian Strippers; They have nearly a 70% chance of wanting to sleep with you, harvest your organs, or both.

Think about how much fun THAT blind would be: You'd have to be SUPER on your toes!


...


Wait... What were we talking about?

No Rain

1) Michigan

It has not stopped raining for the last 3 days. The rain fall has simply varied from steady to down pour, back to steady. This has severely limited my ability to enjoy recent motorcycle upgrades or continue working on the small details (clutch adjustment, headlight aim, decal removal, etc). I did take the opportunity to enjoy a spectacular 8 mile run in the rain, but the wet shoes/socks led to some monster blisters that have left me couch-ridden and cursing the weather gods and organizing digital music into playlists.

2) Recent Addictions



A recent XKCD comic and a little bird together inspired me to write Haiku's about the women of science. I think i could have worked in some pretty words had i not been at work. Things are strange there now.


Bring me a woman
Speaking with a learned tongue
I will bring the beer


I'm also solidly addicted to Post Secret. Solidly.




Woman of science
Confident understanding
A challenge I seek


To note:
I think we all knew that guys have no sense of their league but it's good to see science catching up to bar logic.


Best you stand back
My science is conducted
With women of wit


3) A Story

Somewhere around 1997/1998 i was looking for an email address that would be anonymous and free. Hotmail was free and by not using some form of my own name (as most people were doing those days) i could cover the anonymous part. As it were i was in the midst of a ideologies class and had taken a shining to Mikhail Bakunin as a pretty forward thinking guy. Such became mikhailbakunin(at)hotmail(dot)com, an email address that i've carried with me for the last 10 years. (Keep in mind that by telling this story here i realize I'm killing the anonymous part. Whatever.)

Anyway, when teh Myspace became popular, i was never much interested in taking part, but i did need to occasionally check out what other people were up to, which was only possible if you had a Myspace account. Thus was born (circa 2005ish) Mikhail Bakunin on Myspace, again, as far as i could tell anonymous. As chance would have it, i noticed i was getting a LOT of friend requests the last couple months. I mean, i always got random spammer friend requests, but this seemed like an over the top amount. I logged into teh Myspace for the first time in, maybe, 18 to 24 months, to find this:

http://www.myspace.com/mikhailbakunin

Wat was once a mostly blank page featuring just a few of my more choice photographs, is now a full-blown dedication to the 18th century Russian Anarchist that couldn't be more complete if the man himself had made it. And i own it. Well, kinda. Who ever put this up never took the time to change the password.

So here's the rub, as soon as I realized what had happened, i changed the Myspace password as well as my email account password because they were the same. I feel a little bad because i basically jacked some one else's work, but well, they did it first. Besides, who ever set this up hadn't logged in for some 12 months before i realized what was going on.

So there you have it. I am Mikhailbakunin on Myspace and I didn't even have to do any of the leg work. The only problem is I seem to get a lot of friend requests from dudes like this. Yeah.




I ended the debate by moving my army across the Rubican
"Bartender, get me a shot"
And then burned the bridges behind me
"Make it cheap Tequila with a beer back"
--Tucker Maxx

Time to work on my No-Rain Dance moves. (You know why rain dances work? because they keep dancing until it rains. A lot of tings are like that.)

Motorcycle

updates.



(if only i'd known)

holy double fuck-stuffed oreos*

I have returned from my adventures in Ohio, which were mostly adventures of the low key variety.



(thank you i heart chaos)


My return home, via motorcycle, went something like this:

--Cruising through Ohio fast, it was warm, i was happy.

--Cruising through Ohio fast, it was cold, i had on extra layers and i was happy.

--Crossing over into Michigan, storm front, HUGE FUCKING RAIN, fuck me, i'm so very wet, I can't see, OH GOD HUGE TRUCKS...

--40 miles of wet and then suddenly 1 mile from home, some dude pull sup next to me on a motorcycle as well and he's wearing less water repellent clothing than I am. I look at him, he looks at me and we know that we're the only bad muther (shut your mouth!) in this town.

--Arrive home, dump water out of boots, invent phrase "holy double fuck-stuffed Oreos" to describe what just happened to me, sleep.

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This is the greatest music video that has ever existed:


GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO - BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.

"In this awesome video for the song “Gorbachov” by Russian metal band ANJ, former Russian Prime Minister Mikhail Gorbachev is an axe-wielding barbarian, destroying zombies who attack the hard working big breasted women of Mother Russia"


I don't know how to explain this to all of you, but Bill Oriely really is fair and balanced. Watch him. I don't know if it was always this way and I don't know if it will always be so, but dammit, he asks the right questions and criticizes EVERYONE. Fuck. Now everything is complicated.

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Remember: A Floozy will do something with anyone. A Freak will do anything with someone. It's important to know.


*Yes I had to invent a new phrase to show my exclamation. Use it at your will, i guarantee is new to this world

Killing time while a test runs:

Yes, fine, I agree i am highly susceptible to your American viral marketing campaign. (also, yes, I looked up the definition of Viral Marketing to ensure I was using it correctly). I award this advertisement 25 bonus points for referencing "The Conquistador."



In other news, I clearly should NOT have sold the Fiat-dang-dizzle. It doesn't say anything about motorcycles, either. Perhaps a nice Alfa is in order? What about Italian motorcycles? Clearly more science is needed. Either way, i know that look on that chick's face; It's the same look I get when I sit in those cars.

(Stupid non-convertible, fwd, reliable American Grand Am)


Time to make the donuts. And by "donuts," I mean "high voltage automotive battery packs."

four: where's my helmet?

one:

I AM NOT THESE PEOPLE


two:

Remember when the republicans were funny because they were so old and crotchety and evil but just ha-ha evil? Circa 2003:



Who's laughing now? Circa today: (your press pass god can't save you now)




three:

I gotta live: See you next week.

(see you in hell kwame)

Ahem

Dallas, Texas: who are you?