Sunday, November 28, 2004
Thursday, November 25, 2004
what's the matter, turkey? chicken?
This is pretty funny, but it kinda reminds me of this, which is older and funnier.
that second link might be dead.... try http://plif.andkon.com/
“The educated man tries to repress the inferior one in himself, without realizing that by this he forces the latter to become revolutionary.”
that second link might be dead.... try http://plif.andkon.com/
“The educated man tries to repress the inferior one in himself, without realizing that by this he forces the latter to become revolutionary.”
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
more comfort for slaves
this hunter is kill crazy, and not in the state-sanctioned, licensed and socially accepted way.
new word of the week: Pacer (vb) indianous pacerous; to go crazy on, or to beat furioussly. ex: That crazy hunter in Wisconsin pacered their whole family.
new word of the week: Pacer (vb) indianous pacerous; to go crazy on, or to beat furioussly. ex: That crazy hunter in Wisconsin pacered their whole family.
Friday, November 19, 2004
Blogging Holly
Andrew and Holly say "Blog it up your ass."
...an excerpt if i may from the lovely Holly:
****Says Holly****
2 things you do every morning:
1)curse the world
2)take my birth control pill
3 things people find wierd about you:
1) My unusual obsession with 80's music
2) My love of video games
3) my personality
4 things you do daily:
1) search for jobs
2) your mother
3) curse the world
4) listen to 80's
5 things you love:
1)Curt...All together now...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
2)nerdy stuff -- cartoons, star wars, 80's music, video games, etc.
3)Mr. Pizza breadsticks
4)dancing
5)Sex. Come on!! Did you really think I wouldn't put that down?
6 things you could probally do without but won't:
1) Instant Messenger
2) Mr. Pizza breadsticks
3) this damn job search...
4) ballet
5) Pop
6) Sex. Come on!! Did you really think I wouldn't put that down?
7things that annoy the #%$! out of you:
1) People who spell my name with an -ie instead of a -y
2) President Bush
3) searching for a job
4) moving back in with my mom
5) people who are shocked, then appalled, when they find out I'm in a sorority
6) Slow drivers
7) filling out online surveys
****Said Holly****
it's true... i love her. But probably for all the wrong reasons.
...an excerpt if i may from the lovely Holly:
****Says Holly****
2 things you do every morning:
1)curse the world
2)take my birth control pill
3 things people find wierd about you:
1) My unusual obsession with 80's music
2) My love of video games
3) my personality
4 things you do daily:
1) search for jobs
2) your mother
3) curse the world
4) listen to 80's
5 things you love:
1)Curt...All together now...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
2)nerdy stuff -- cartoons, star wars, 80's music, video games, etc.
3)Mr. Pizza breadsticks
4)dancing
5)Sex. Come on!! Did you really think I wouldn't put that down?
6 things you could probally do without but won't:
1) Instant Messenger
2) Mr. Pizza breadsticks
3) this damn job search...
4) ballet
5) Pop
6) Sex. Come on!! Did you really think I wouldn't put that down?
7things that annoy the #%$! out of you:
1) People who spell my name with an -ie instead of a -y
2) President Bush
3) searching for a job
4) moving back in with my mom
5) people who are shocked, then appalled, when they find out I'm in a sorority
6) Slow drivers
7) filling out online surveys
****Said Holly****
it's true... i love her. But probably for all the wrong reasons.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
"I didn't see the kill floor, but i saw plenty of lamb parts"
My housemate is in my room telling me about his day at work as a union rep for the slaughter houses of Detroit and the surrounding area
I guess never realized that places in Detroit still slaughter animals right on site. Apparently when a truck load of fuzzy little lambs rolls up, they use a goat to lore the lambs to their death. This is obviously a perfectly sensible thing to do, for if I were approaching a foreign and suspicious building, awash in blood and screaming lamb, should the entrance feature a goat I would think to my self, surely no one will kill me here. They have goats.
This brings me to an interesting point. If you can't explain what you do for a living in six words or less, you have a shit job. (Note: you may also have a shit job if you CAN explain it in six words or less. For example: Hi, I'm Neil Downaneater, licensed Corpse Fluffer)
Take my typical conversation:
them: What do you do?
me: I do service... I drive a van.. for this company, National Time and Signal.
them: ummm... Is that Glen Frey over there?
As far as kill floors go, well grandpa can tell you that the old way is the best way.
I guess never realized that places in Detroit still slaughter animals right on site. Apparently when a truck load of fuzzy little lambs rolls up, they use a goat to lore the lambs to their death. This is obviously a perfectly sensible thing to do, for if I were approaching a foreign and suspicious building, awash in blood and screaming lamb, should the entrance feature a goat I would think to my self, surely no one will kill me here. They have goats.
This brings me to an interesting point. If you can't explain what you do for a living in six words or less, you have a shit job. (Note: you may also have a shit job if you CAN explain it in six words or less. For example: Hi, I'm Neil Downaneater, licensed Corpse Fluffer)
Take my typical conversation:
them: What do you do?
me: I do service... I drive a van.. for this company, National Time and Signal.
them: ummm... Is that Glen Frey over there?
As far as kill floors go, well grandpa can tell you that the old way is the best way.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
naked time!!!
I should take a moment to mention how a wonderful girlfriend is a good thing.
Everyone knows why it's great to have a "special buddy" in life, but it just occurred to me what i was really missing all these years; there is finally a person in my life that doesn't care if i wear clothes. Ever.
Think about it, the only real reason you wear clothes is to appease the people around you. Now i don't have to make the terrible choice: Naked and Lonely or Chaffed and Personable. Of course... Right now I'm both clothed AND alone.
*sigh*
After re-reading what i've just typed, it's also occurred to me that i am insane with exhaustion. I will sleep now.
Everyone knows why it's great to have a "special buddy" in life, but it just occurred to me what i was really missing all these years; there is finally a person in my life that doesn't care if i wear clothes. Ever.
Think about it, the only real reason you wear clothes is to appease the people around you. Now i don't have to make the terrible choice: Naked and Lonely or Chaffed and Personable. Of course... Right now I'm both clothed AND alone.
*sigh*
After re-reading what i've just typed, it's also occurred to me that i am insane with exhaustion. I will sleep now.
Monday, November 15, 2004
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.fuckthesouth.com
oh yeah- also check out the cartoons on this site, especially those dealing with bush
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.fuckthesouth.com
-Stu
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.fuckthesouth.com
oh yeah- also check out the cartoons on this site, especially those dealing with bush
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.fuckthesouth.com
www.fuckthesouth.com
-Stu
Sunday, November 14, 2004
rock and roll ain't noise pollution
An impromptu survey: (Wholly independent of the "what the hell am I doing with my life," thing, i assure you)
The Data:
Consider four close friends from high school and then four more friends from college, all men, and then divide the stages of marriage into three parts, distributing the subjects into the appropriate categories:
1) Married, engaged, or having at some point been married.
2) Involved in a relationship that everyone around them can clearly see will lead to marriage.
3) Clearly not going to be married anytime soon/possibly gay
The results:
Three men in the first group
Two men in the second group
Three men in the third group
The Analysis
Honestly i don't really have anything to say about all this. It's just an interesting trend. If i was feeling really spry i would re-calculate the results for 2 years ago and 4 years ago and get some trend lines up in this bitch. Hell, i might even be able to predict new relationships. I've got some really nice graphs and charts that go along with all this text, but i'm too lazy to post 'em.
The Data:
Consider four close friends from high school and then four more friends from college, all men, and then divide the stages of marriage into three parts, distributing the subjects into the appropriate categories:
1) Married, engaged, or having at some point been married.
2) Involved in a relationship that everyone around them can clearly see will lead to marriage.
3) Clearly not going to be married anytime soon/possibly gay
The results:
Three men in the first group
Two men in the second group
Three men in the third group
The Analysis
Honestly i don't really have anything to say about all this. It's just an interesting trend. If i was feeling really spry i would re-calculate the results for 2 years ago and 4 years ago and get some trend lines up in this bitch. Hell, i might even be able to predict new relationships. I've got some really nice graphs and charts that go along with all this text, but i'm too lazy to post 'em.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
sunshine and eternal happiness
10Am this morning i was supposed to be at the Dirt Mall with my housemate Rob. I woke up at 12:56p. That was about the same moment i was washed over with that old familiar feeling; "What the hell am I doing with my life?"
But I'm missing he point here: The Dirt Mall!
The Dirt Mall (AKA Gibraltar Trade Center) is heaven on earth for the discriminating bargain shoppers, people watchers and child molesters. It's basically a big-ass warehouse full of venders and shops and foods, all competing for your coveted Dollar. It's a place where the Car Stereo Venders out number the tattooist 3 to 1, but when combined represent 27% of the total goods and services offered. It's a place that has T-shirt shops where the product ranges from "Jesus is my Homeboy" to "If you see that ni&&er Bitch, tell her that baby ain't mine." (I have one of each) It's a place that has monthly gun and knife shows and if you play your cards right, you can walk out of there with a 50 cal. machine gun and a 15 ft boa-constrictor. (Just the necessities, please) Yes, THIS my friends is where i was to kick off the Xmas shopping season. Just not today.
Unfortunately, some of the few things you cant find at the dirt mall include a sense of meaning, a goal to work towards or an albino slave.
oh yeah- check out www.sorryeverybody.com
But I'm missing he point here: The Dirt Mall!
The Dirt Mall (AKA Gibraltar Trade Center) is heaven on earth for the discriminating bargain shoppers, people watchers and child molesters. It's basically a big-ass warehouse full of venders and shops and foods, all competing for your coveted Dollar. It's a place where the Car Stereo Venders out number the tattooist 3 to 1, but when combined represent 27% of the total goods and services offered. It's a place that has T-shirt shops where the product ranges from "Jesus is my Homeboy" to "If you see that ni&&er Bitch, tell her that baby ain't mine." (I have one of each) It's a place that has monthly gun and knife shows and if you play your cards right, you can walk out of there with a 50 cal. machine gun and a 15 ft boa-constrictor. (Just the necessities, please) Yes, THIS my friends is where i was to kick off the Xmas shopping season. Just not today.
Unfortunately, some of the few things you cant find at the dirt mall include a sense of meaning, a goal to work towards or an albino slave.
oh yeah- check out www.sorryeverybody.com
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
grumpy
this was taken directly from my house-mate's site:
GOOD MORNING!
A little under fifteen minutes ago I was abruptly awoken from a deep sleep by two of the most horrible sounds I have ever heard in my life.
The first was the sound of housemate/landlord's alarm clock going off. It is the traditional high pitched siren-esque shrill sound that serves its purpose; which is to wake your ass up and become so intolerable that you slam on the snooze button six or seven times, which said housemate usually does until all parties are forced to rise alongside him. While this normal does not please me in the slightest, my ears have grown callous to said shrill noise..but after only ascertaining 3 hours of sleep thus far, I was less than thrilled to hear of its unexpected arrival...as I have my alarm scheduled to wake me up around four hours post press time (ie: right now).
This was nothing in comparison to the second noise, which was the sound of my second housemate screaming at the first housemate (who was now in gleefully in our shower) to shut his fucking alarm clock off. Now normally this wouldn't have phased me either, had he not sounded like a Nazgul that decended from upon high, waiting to kill housemate #1 the moment he got finished with his shower. Shaken, I did what any responsible mediator would have done: I got up, mumbled several things semi incoherently in the hallway, and attempted to return to sleep..feeling confident that the negotiation spirit of Jimmy Carter had passed through me, and that I had done the responsible thing.
However, I haven't been able to get back to sleep since that event, and now I am telling this story to you. Housemate #1 is getting ready to leave for work, and Housemate #Nazgul is still in his room. I fear for the safety of Housemate #1's alarm clock, but not so much for his life anymore, as I have diffused the situation with as much utmost professionalism one can muster up after only accumulating three hours of quality, golden slumbers. I now look forward to returning to bed and rising a few hours from now; refreshed, sound and ready to take on the day with the zest of something that is..zesty.
News bullitens will be issued as further events warrant.
Posted by rob at 06:44 AM
GOOD MORNING!
A little under fifteen minutes ago I was abruptly awoken from a deep sleep by two of the most horrible sounds I have ever heard in my life.
The first was the sound of housemate/landlord's alarm clock going off. It is the traditional high pitched siren-esque shrill sound that serves its purpose; which is to wake your ass up and become so intolerable that you slam on the snooze button six or seven times, which said housemate usually does until all parties are forced to rise alongside him. While this normal does not please me in the slightest, my ears have grown callous to said shrill noise..but after only ascertaining 3 hours of sleep thus far, I was less than thrilled to hear of its unexpected arrival...as I have my alarm scheduled to wake me up around four hours post press time (ie: right now).
This was nothing in comparison to the second noise, which was the sound of my second housemate screaming at the first housemate (who was now in gleefully in our shower) to shut his fucking alarm clock off. Now normally this wouldn't have phased me either, had he not sounded like a Nazgul that decended from upon high, waiting to kill housemate #1 the moment he got finished with his shower. Shaken, I did what any responsible mediator would have done: I got up, mumbled several things semi incoherently in the hallway, and attempted to return to sleep..feeling confident that the negotiation spirit of Jimmy Carter had passed through me, and that I had done the responsible thing.
However, I haven't been able to get back to sleep since that event, and now I am telling this story to you. Housemate #1 is getting ready to leave for work, and Housemate #Nazgul is still in his room. I fear for the safety of Housemate #1's alarm clock, but not so much for his life anymore, as I have diffused the situation with as much utmost professionalism one can muster up after only accumulating three hours of quality, golden slumbers. I now look forward to returning to bed and rising a few hours from now; refreshed, sound and ready to take on the day with the zest of something that is..zesty.
News bullitens will be issued as further events warrant.
Posted by rob at 06:44 AM
Monday, November 08, 2004
oh yeah...
i forgot to tell one outstanding story from this weekend... the one about the band.
Picture this: Half time at the "Bash at the Big House" and 52,000 people are sitting on their bums waiting to be entertained. First at bat, the Grand Valley State Marching band does a stunningly mediocre performance with some very uninspired drill work. (Hey, third place at state finals, 1997, fool. Their shit was bad) Now the crowd has a craving for the funny and here comes the Tech pep band. Releasing their best sarcastic impersonation of a drunk marching band, they stumble onto the field and start playing the hits of Monty Python... And i'm talking about the real hits. Camelot, the lumber jack song, sit on my face, every sperm is sacred... you know , the family songs. just... try to picture the Michigan Tech Pep Band, on the U of M football field, in front of 55,000 fans playing "Every Sperm is Sacred," while forming a giant egg on the field. Folks, the Tuba players were the sperm and they were trying to penetrate it's outer shell. Then one tuba DID get in, and the egg was fertilized. in front of 60,000 people the Huskie band fertilized an egg in marching drill.
At least now the whole world knows that Tech students are a bunch of drunken, horny nerds.
They finished the set by creating a giant beer stein on the field and slowly lowering the level of beer in the mug as they played the drunken swagger song.
i was laughing and crying at the same time.
Picture this: Half time at the "Bash at the Big House" and 52,000 people are sitting on their bums waiting to be entertained. First at bat, the Grand Valley State Marching band does a stunningly mediocre performance with some very uninspired drill work. (Hey, third place at state finals, 1997, fool. Their shit was bad) Now the crowd has a craving for the funny and here comes the Tech pep band. Releasing their best sarcastic impersonation of a drunk marching band, they stumble onto the field and start playing the hits of Monty Python... And i'm talking about the real hits. Camelot, the lumber jack song, sit on my face, every sperm is sacred... you know , the family songs. just... try to picture the Michigan Tech Pep Band, on the U of M football field, in front of 55,000 fans playing "Every Sperm is Sacred," while forming a giant egg on the field. Folks, the Tuba players were the sperm and they were trying to penetrate it's outer shell. Then one tuba DID get in, and the egg was fertilized. in front of 60,000 people the Huskie band fertilized an egg in marching drill.
At least now the whole world knows that Tech students are a bunch of drunken, horny nerds.
They finished the set by creating a giant beer stein on the field and slowly lowering the level of beer in the mug as they played the drunken swagger song.
i was laughing and crying at the same time.
Visualize Whirreled peas
Today the Monday-monster raised it's weary head from the cold depths and smiled it's black-toothed grin.
Let's recap.
Thursday i met up with an old college housemate that was in town; yes folks I'm talking about the lovely and always environmental sarah. it's hard to argue against the theory that when two people get together after a long period of ill communication, an always popular topic of conversation is the goings on of common acquaintances that also haven't been heard from for a long while.
Example:
A: "did ya hear X is engaged?"
B: "Yeah, isn't she's marrying that Cannibal from Wisconsin with the snaggle tooth?"
A: "Yeah! Remember when we were drunk in Wisconsin?"
B: "Best freakin year of my life, man!"
Saturday another college chum, Kelly from Holly came into town and we all went down to Ann Arbor to watch Tech get played out by GVSU. Kelly's truck, obvious distraught by the results of the game decided at that point it was no longer going on as a functioning member of society, thus making it un-functional. Luckily a local witch-doctor/CVS manager was near by and did coax the reluctant beast back to life. Later we all watched Gary Tungstall, Houghton's very own acoustic 12-string master strum harmonies that would make a hardened republican cry tears of joy. Plus i ran into a plethora of people from college. Dirty Andy, Kill Crazy Curtis, Big Jason and that guy who's name i don't know were all there... Remember those guys you would only see at the bar, but pretended they were your best friend in the world when you did? It was pretty much those guys.
so basically, many sentences were started with the phrase "remember when"
Speaking of which, remember when...
Be sure to tune in next week for our special report on... The Clavicle: Low-Pass Inverting Filter of the Skeletal System!
Let's recap.
Thursday i met up with an old college housemate that was in town; yes folks I'm talking about the lovely and always environmental sarah. it's hard to argue against the theory that when two people get together after a long period of ill communication, an always popular topic of conversation is the goings on of common acquaintances that also haven't been heard from for a long while.
Example:
A: "did ya hear X is engaged?"
B: "Yeah, isn't she's marrying that Cannibal from Wisconsin with the snaggle tooth?"
A: "Yeah! Remember when we were drunk in Wisconsin?"
B: "Best freakin year of my life, man!"
Saturday another college chum, Kelly from Holly came into town and we all went down to Ann Arbor to watch Tech get played out by GVSU. Kelly's truck, obvious distraught by the results of the game decided at that point it was no longer going on as a functioning member of society, thus making it un-functional. Luckily a local witch-doctor/CVS manager was near by and did coax the reluctant beast back to life. Later we all watched Gary Tungstall, Houghton's very own acoustic 12-string master strum harmonies that would make a hardened republican cry tears of joy. Plus i ran into a plethora of people from college. Dirty Andy, Kill Crazy Curtis, Big Jason and that guy who's name i don't know were all there... Remember those guys you would only see at the bar, but pretended they were your best friend in the world when you did? It was pretty much those guys.
so basically, many sentences were started with the phrase "remember when"
Speaking of which, remember when...
Be sure to tune in next week for our special report on... The Clavicle: Low-Pass Inverting Filter of the Skeletal System!
Friday, November 05, 2004
Express Yourself
The soul of Monty Python lives on with this little ditty by Eric Idle.
In other news, i'm still finding it difficult to see colors, thanks to tuesday-goodness. but the booze helps.
MTU/GVSU tomorrow, plus Gary, the UP's very own acoustic master is playing in A^2 (9:30 pm, Mitch's Place). rawk.
In other news, i'm still finding it difficult to see colors, thanks to tuesday-goodness. but the booze helps.
MTU/GVSU tomorrow, plus Gary, the UP's very own acoustic master is playing in A^2 (9:30 pm, Mitch's Place). rawk.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
rain
All i can say is, if you don't see the problem here, you're probably a part of it.
Aside from that, I have nothing to say about what happened this week, so i'll barrow something from our old buddy George Carlin.
I feel betrayed by religion
I feel betrayed by society
I feel betrayed by the species
Aside from that, I have nothing to say about what happened this week, so i'll barrow something from our old buddy George Carlin.
I feel betrayed by religion
I feel betrayed by society
I feel betrayed by the species
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
now you're living the high life
looks like the wheels are coming off this bitch.
time to get drunk and screw.
time to get drunk and screw.
this is not America
top three victory songs:
T Rex, 20th Century Boy
DJ Chip Man and Ray Lo, Peanut Butter Jelly Time
MC Breed, Ain't no Future in Your Frontin'
Honorary Mention: George Straight, All my Ex's live in Texas
top three defeat songs:
Radiohead, Karma Police
The Moody Blues, A whiter Shade of Pale
Peter Gabriel, I Grieve
Honorary Mention: NIN, Help me i am in hell
T Rex, 20th Century Boy
DJ Chip Man and Ray Lo, Peanut Butter Jelly Time
MC Breed, Ain't no Future in Your Frontin'
Honorary Mention: George Straight, All my Ex's live in Texas
top three defeat songs:
Radiohead, Karma Police
The Moody Blues, A whiter Shade of Pale
Peter Gabriel, I Grieve
Honorary Mention: NIN, Help me i am in hell
Monday, November 01, 2004
A gentle hand upside yo face
i know you're all worried about this and you've been thinking a lot about this, that and the other. (Thanks Rob for doing all the Leg work.) It's understandable, believe me.
But I'm here to say, baby, it's gonna be alright. When i look into those scared eyes, i cant imagine wanting to live in a world were sweet, sexy things like yourself have to live in fear of biological annihilation. No darling, don't fight it. Just wrap yourself up in my big arms and let *my* missile defense system blanket your regions. I'm gonna put on some Al Green now and let you in a little secret- You know the new honky? Well i know a few people and i put some folks on the case, right. Dig it baby, we're gonna get it done, you see- work it from the inside; all grass-roots 'n shit. You just let Sexy C take care of all your worries. Now, how 'bout you shimmy yourself over here and help me out...
But I'm here to say, baby, it's gonna be alright. When i look into those scared eyes, i cant imagine wanting to live in a world were sweet, sexy things like yourself have to live in fear of biological annihilation. No darling, don't fight it. Just wrap yourself up in my big arms and let *my* missile defense system blanket your regions. I'm gonna put on some Al Green now and let you in a little secret- You know the new honky? Well i know a few people and i put some folks on the case, right. Dig it baby, we're gonna get it done, you see- work it from the inside; all grass-roots 'n shit. You just let Sexy C take care of all your worries. Now, how 'bout you shimmy yourself over here and help me out...
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