Saturday, March 31, 2007

I be like droppin knowledge

too many "how to" manuals in the world. Figure it out for yourself: It's better that way

However, the breadth of topic is still funny. But seriously, you need figure out how to date a stripper on your own... or learn from your dad/brother/priest


(the derivative of Batman should be Bruce Wayne or the integral of Bruce Wayne = Batman... Fucking amateurs)

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Why aren't I sleeping?

Because I can't stop watching episodes of BattleStar Galactica. It's Too Damn Good.

Tyrol: You know, we need to figure out whose side we're on.
Tigh: Which side are we on. We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We're evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that.

Fucking Brilliant.

Briefly

Okay. China, We FUCKING get it already, you're better than the west. Let it go. (I could do a lot of things if i had 6 foot arms)

The real question is, if a strange woman appears and masturbates on your couch, would you throw it (them) away?

I suppose you could apply the theory of unexplained bacon to identify this as a ninja trap... but if I have to live a life forever questioning the origins of mystery bacon and masturbating strangers, i don't want to live that life.

I wasn't hungry anyway

Also,

It can always be worse.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

i can't help but post this



(what else can't I help?)

classic good time

I'm sure everything is fine

In unrelated news we're all still fucked.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

meh

Could this lead to an Elise test drive? Perhaps not. I shall stick to my work (one carb down, one to go)

Fax party





Saturday, March 17, 2007

new place



week 1

week 0

Greatest Shower Curtain Ever.


(why would there be a shirt hanging from the ceiling lamp?)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

too close to home

It seems there's an entire theory in the alternative energy underground that the company i work for (i tend to never mention here the name of my current employer) is essentially responsible for undermining the development of hybrid, plug in hybrid and even pure electric vehicles in the U.S.

This new data is highly detrimental to the paradigm.

It all revolves around legal action taken by my company and it's parents to defend battery chemistry technology, allegedly copied by Panasonic and Toyota. Alliances with oil companies make the plot go 'round, supplying a ready-made antagonist and conspiracy. I am so very... confused and It will take much time to absorb and react to this new information.

I want to believe in the goodness. It's what makes the 10 hours days go by so quickly and what makes you want to spend the first warm day of the year thermally profiling a new heat management system for the '09 model because there is so much science to be done and so few people.

What's most important now is informing the overlords that the master plan has been revealed... No one is falling for the ruse of a small group of people driving hybrids and riding their bikes to work because it's the most rewarding job you can find in a place like Detroit. Then again, if i was the evil management and wanted to convince everyone i wasn't choking-out battery technology, I'd hire a bunch of idealistic fools too.

More science is needed.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Best

good


better

Monday, March 12, 2007

edit

edit: in reference to a previous post about threesomes...

I just realized the first line of my threesome tirade refers to "bullet scared strippers" as in strippers that are afraid of bullets, presumably coming from a gun. It was supposed to read "bullet scarred strippers" as in strippers sporting bullet scars which your finger-tips can identify quite readily, even when drunk.

This is only important not only because it adds a level of gritty realness and visualization, but also because it's a true story based on actual events.

(Support your local pole workers union)

Sunday, March 11, 2007

part II

I once knew a man who refused to celebrate his alcoholism. Later in life, that very same man would request an “energy-generation-themed” sequel to my highly un-acclaimed synopsis on the state of alternative and non alternative transportation fuels; a valid request if every there was one. Especially considering the unofficial conclusion to my previous entry (the EV or PHEV) places the brunt of transportation energy needs on the national electric grid. Once again, I promise no fact checking, because that time is better spent in the VIP room, where I vowed to myself I would avoid for at least 3… 2 weeks.

--que “Workout Theme” from Rocky--

This one’s for Timbo. (Did anyone else know that in the originally planned version of the latest Rocky movie, Rocky was supposed to visit an HIV/Death bed stricken Ivan Drago in Russia? That would have made the movie 36% better)

Non renewables

Oil


Rundown: Seldom used to generate electricity, you may find a few smaller Diesel generators (think less than 100kW) used during rare high demand times, or maybe powering some Arctic outpost or some shit like that. As far as I know, it basically doesn’t exist in the modern electric utility.

Outlook: Save it for your gas-powered dildos and hedge trimmers: no one’s gonna use black gold to make megawatts.

Coal

Rundown: To domestic power generation, coal is like Dale Ernhart, The Super Bowl and that time in high school when that hot chick totally went down on you (man, you never again scored action like that... everything was so much better back then), all rolled into one. Coal is so cheap that the comparisons to your mother/sister/girlfriend practically write themselves. Likewise in both cases, it’s dirty as hell and many laws have been passed in an attempt (though often half-hearted) to outlaw its (and their) use. Depending on whose lies you believe, coal is said to account for something like 60% of our power generation and is so plentiful, it practically falls out of the earth. Or, you know, onto some minors. (Why wouldn’t they let those guys enjoy a cold beer after a long day in the mines?) Local laws, though often preventing the construction of new coal plants or requiring “clean coal” facilities, almost always allow for the continued operation of existing facilities, lest they drive the utilities out of business by mandating total replacement of existing infrastructure. The idea of clean coal is mysterious and as far as I’m concerned, bogus. It can be reformed into things like “coal gas” and such, but as we’ve already learned, when we turn a dirty fuel into a clean fuel, the equation of life dictates the “dirt” part still show up on the right side of the equation. That means carbon bi-products, the best disposal solution suggested thus far being “pump it into the ground?” Right...

Outlook: Everything having to do with clean coal is smoke and mirrors. Old facilities continue to pump mercury, sulfur, COX, solid pollutants and a slew of other junk into the air, while newer plants pump a portion of it into a box which is sold to third world countries and made into Ramon Noodles. Unfortunately, the US alone has enough to power itself for about 300 years.

Natural Gas

Rundown: Natural gas is the golden child of new utility capacity. This is because instead of building massive, large capacity coal or nuclear plants, they’re opting to add in smaller, cheaper increments, only fulfilling the needs of the immediate future. Nature gas is perfect for this because it’s relatively clean and unlike the others, efficient in small scales. (The large capital investment associated with carbon sequestering or nuclear containment require an equally large return on investment, making it uneconomical to build small nuclear/coal plants). Unfortunately, this gas which was once vented into the atmosphere for lack of a better purpose is now looked upon most favorably and without even arguing about how much of the stuff is left, we can’t deny that the supplying governments are unreliable at best.

Outlook: Tough to call and even harder to add wit to. Far cleaner than coal and other fossil fuels, it’s hard to come by and getting harder. Additionally, use of gas for heating is increasing demand big time. Also, this could be the Soviet Republic’s big ticket back into the major leagues.

Nuclear

Rundown: Nuclear energy is like an enigma wrapped up in misunderstanding and tucked into an "I-can't-quite-put-my-finger-on-it" shaped box. On one hand you have a basically limitless supply of energy and assuming nothing goes wrong, no waste that can't easily be dealt with. (if everyone was really honest with themselves, they'd realize that nuclear waste 40 miles below the surface ain't gonna hurt nobody). Of course, if something DOES go wrong, none of the above matters because your skin is boiling and your eyes are bleeding out. It falls somewhere between the guilty fossil fuels and the petunia smelling renewables.

Outlook: Depends who you vote for

Renewables

Wind


Rundown: The wind energy bubble came and went without many people noticing. Most cheap, viable, open windy farm land in the Midwest have been spoken for, though I’m not convinced the majority of it will never see the windmill it was purchased for. I think Europeans recognized electricity from wind as an elegant and simple solution long before the states did. Many people will say dumb things like “what if the wind stops blowing?” Those people have never been to the top of a tall building, off shore of a New England State or spent any time with Notorious’ sister/mother/girlfriend (I hear she blows AND sucks)

Outlook: Companies like GE and others are always building bigger windmills, the most recent of which can produce 5 megawatts when located offshore. This is enough to power about 5000 homes. I expect to see a lot more windmills, and in all honestly, they make me just a little randy.

Solar

Rundown: Believe it or not, the sun is predictable and action packed if you go to the right place. In fact, it's a pretty well known fact that something like 500 sq miles of solar panels located in the southwest would power the entire US. (look it up). And that calculation assumes your basic silicon cell of ~8% efficiency, where technologies like a dual axis-tracking, parabolic trough thermal system can convert solar thermal energy on the efficiency range of 40%. And since it's a thermal facility, instead of direct to electric, that thermal energy can be stored and distributed through out the 24 hour day.

Outlook: Facilities like the one described above have been operating in the southwest for 20 years, and though still operational... nothing similar has been built in the U.S. this millennium. What can I do?

The Others

Geo thermal

Rundown/Outlook: If you’re living in Iceland and a home-owner, pat yourself on the back friend, because Geo-Thermal Energy and nationalized health care are about the only things you got going for you in life.

Tidal

Rundown/Outlook: There’s a lot of water moving around out there and even if it moves just a little and very slowly, the ungodly mass makes it a viable energy source. However, I don’t have to throw myself head first into a man-on-man-on-man-on-rhino-on man orgy to know I’m not going to feel at home in that setting. Likewise, I don’t need direct experience with the sea to know those angry, salty, waters will make short work of any sort of power generating facility placed in its indignant depths. The point is, Joules Vern, time to go back to the Nautilus and play make-believe/touch yourself. This scenario seems unlikely.

Energy Storage

We all know god dammed well that as soon as I talk about renewable (and therefore perceived as unreliable) sources of energy, someone is going to pipe up about the inherent instability this system induces on the obviously fragile national electric grid. Allow me to piss on your face before you even open your mouth by exploring the wonderful world of large-scale, high power energy storage systems. (Back off man, I’m a scientist). There’s plenty of methods. Here’s two good ones.

Battery

Rundown: I’m sure you all realize that 95% of the technology for chemical-based batteries was sorted out about a hundred years ago. That said, even though I hate the idea of being a traditionalist, my experience says the longest lasting methods are normally the soundest. For your typical large battery, the best advances of late have come in the area of energy density and minimizing environmental impact. The downfall continues to be the pesky high price ingredients.

Outlook: Did I mention that I work for a battery company and after two engineering jobs in the battery field would officially consider myself a battery expert? Betting against batteries is like betting against Rocky: you don’t do it lest you wake up with broken arms. Still, batteries aren't the best way to power a building when the sun goes down- They are, however, a great way to suck up some solar power to get to work and back in your PHEV.

Note: If you’ve heard of super capacitors or something of the like, they’re a lot like batteries but more fantastical. People have been promising them to be “just around the time corner” for the last 30 years. If you get me really drunk we can talk about fly wheel-based energy storage devices… People already use these things! (Google it bitches)

Water

Rundown/Outlook: Power demand is like a sin wave added to a constant value greater than one. If you got laid in high school and don't know what that means, it basically says demand goes up and down with a pretty constant pulse. The problem is your generating capacity needs to meet the highest peak, making for unnecessary power when the demand dips. Big pumped water storage tanks are a way to use energy when demand is low (pump water into a resevoir) and recover it when demand is high (let the water flow out a la hydro-station). It's simple and elegant here under a cover of clouds we see the Ludington pumped water storage facility that's been in effect since the 70's.

More proof that like Rocky, sequels are never as good as the original. That is all. There is no point and no conclusion because nothing has been finished. It's hard to fight the good fight and I am tired. Next week I'll tell you about this simple theory: The further you study a topic, the more jaded you become. If only science can save us...

disc

We all knew that the bee is made in this state, but who would claim to know that the sport itself (or various sports) had such deep roots in Michigan?

Monday, March 05, 2007

life kicks you when you're down

My threesome entry has received little acclaim. It appears people only talk about this stuff when they're drunk.



In the mean time, kidney stones + pneumonia =/ crazy delicious. I've never spent a night in the hospital, let alone done the doubled-over, writhing-strut of pain into the emergency room. It breaks down like this:

1) All data, though inconclusive, shows that I am still invincible, though highly susceptible to prolonged stabbing sensations in the kidney. It also helps to add a respiratory-based viral infection to take me down.

2) The pain-medicine drip makes all the problems go away.

3) Vicadin makes it hard to concentrate on the written word; 11 episodes of "Heros" proves it is the greatest show on TV, as it is based on superhero/comic book stuff with a villain that increases his powers by eating the brains of other people with powers.


I am so very sleepy now