more science!

this is pretty creepy

Who knew they were already weeding people out with these genetic tests at birth? (should i even bother screaming gatica?) And how much longer will the american people stand by, before they demand the scientist cut me down in my prime, to extract the highly sought after "schlongus maximus" gene?

explained

marmaduke is dying.

very funny

mountain of a man

a little over the top, but good points all the same. Theslate.com has another, slightly more balanced opinion.

btw, clinton's hand's are bigger than walace's head. i would watch out if i were he.

Good use of descriptives

"The devil came here yesterday. He came here talking as if he were the owner of the world. In this very spot it smells like sulfur still."

—Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, speaking at the United Nations General Assembly, alluding to President George W. Bush’s appearance before the body the day before.

banksy

e'rybody knows that i do for my hood

My first activity of today brought me to a middle-school age city-league football game that my nephew was playing in (lost 8 - 18) As i walked, alone with my thoughts, to my car, i realized something was odd in the parking lot. There in that completely full high-school lot was not a single foreign-made automobile, as best i could see. The school was in Taylor, perhaps the most blue-collar city of a blue-collar metropolis. I also noticed that the back of the lot was filled with the work trucks, while the full-size sedans dominated the front of the lot; this I concluded was a result of the fathers- Their pick-ups, vans and a hodgepodge of trucks with ladders, tools and various company emblems on their doors and fenders- parking in the rear, arriving after the mother's and children had come to set up and prepare for the game. Exactly as my brother and his family had.

g-g-g- g unit

This week Ford announced they would cut 1/3 of their white-collar work force, offering buy-outs to some and chopping what's needed after that. What you won't hear in the media is about the average white-collar employee age at ford is several years younger than GM, which is why this round of cuts will be particularly painful compared to GM's. 14,000 professionals will be moving on with lives. Meanwhile, back at the struggle, every street-block (of ~15 houses) has at least 2 or 3 homes for sale. Multiply that by what's easily a hundred blocks in my neighborhood and you can start to understand what's happening here. See, while the white-collars predominately occupy the northern suburbs, here in the south-side, we're surrounded by the factory workers. Every one of the 75,000 union employees, many of whom who've been working erratic schedules, such as one week mandatory vacation per month, will be offered a retirement package, in an attempt to align the number of workers with what's needed to run a company with several fewer manufacturing plants.

Every day i'm hustling

There is a saying that says, "As Detroit goes, so goes the country." The feeling here... is off. Something is very off.

safety is an illusion

It is no measure of health to be sane in an insane society.

-- Krishnamurti

that's what she said

Sounds like the latest struggle party was crazier than all previously noted events. (i may have been in bed, passed out from a combination of some hopps-based liquid and the exhaustion of physical acts not mentioned in your god's book, to witness the alleged "breast suckling" that went on between the women of the party. whatever, i guess.) Here's the moral: bring cheap plasatic beads with you everywhere you go in life. And your dick.

"Beauty is the bait which with delight allures man to enlarge his kind."
--Sorates

Crikey!

the devil is in the details.

reminds me of an old issue of Christ Puncher

Also, Steve is dead.

On The Edge; that's where it all happens

So concludes both the summer and the week of free stuff: a party at the House of the Struggle. (tonight, food starts at 7)

This week some guy picked me off the annals of the internet and offered up a free fiat transmission and engine for a 79 spider (wait a minute- i have a 79 fiat spider) all I had to do was drive out and lug it home. Fast forward two days and my former ass-smacking roommate (still smacking asses, no longer a roommate) is leaving for NY and offers me his car for free. Same deal as before- pick it up and it's mine. Stos and I spent the evening in front of old Tigers Stadium on Michigan Ave in Detroit, trying to bring a Black '87 lincoln Continental to life. Picture the old college caddy, in black, with more graffiti. Later, we would run into the owner of the house that was "storing" the car in it's street. He would report, "my neighbor warned me that two white guys and a crack head were pushing the lincoln down the street."

Did i mention we paid a bum fifty cents to help us push it to the corner gas station? Because we did. After a drive back to the struggle, here's the tally: Brakes are shit, some lights are busted from a hit n' run and there's a huge exhaust leak from the emissions system. Also, it leaks power steering fluid. All the power steering fluid. And smells like it's on fire. But it's still got huge potential as a cruise. I'll be sure to post pictures of us in front of the stadium jumping the car.

Lastly, we can't forget the craziness that was last weekend. Remind me to tell you the story of the fabricated i-pod cable and how it earned us a free show. Best told in person, it's a moral about how engineer's skills can be handy in these alcohol fueled social situations.

Now we get to tonight. There's a chill in the air and the sun is hiding out, so our baby oil wrestling mat may not come into use. However, the slip-n-slide can still be set up down the main hall leading to my room. That’s where it all happens. On the edge.

booo!

I am saddened by the lack of response to my previous entry. what do i have to do to get a reaction from you freaks?

this makes me happy:

abandoned submarine base!

mailbag!

time to answer your burning questions

Q: how many people can fit into a late model grand am?
A: five chicks, a dude and me at the sticks, provided there's ample red LED lighting and Justin Timberlake on the cones.

Q: given the rising price of oil and middle eastern instability, what is the current exchange rate for and american played game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"
A: one cock = six breasts.

Q: how does the sophist observe his birthday?
A: the high life way.

holy shit

holy shit

this remnds,the fiat is running at about 80% right now- that mean's highway worthy and only leaking so much as to require fluid top-offs every 100 miles or so.

also, the carb is for shit

sold!

if anyone offers you a really good deal on a "new" BMW or Mazda, i'd watch out for foul play. It could be one of these cars.

http://echosphere.net/star_trek_icons/star_trek_icons.html

keep your head up

and watch yourself out there.

don't believe everything you see.

why?

no more cooking oil allowed in my house

this woman ruined it.

been busy

retro-fitting this to the fiat.

who you callin tony?

-newsweek

Now Rumsfeld and Bush, by pre-emptively launching a war, have undercut that lesson. Until recent events, the American and Israeli armies were generally judged the most advanced in the world. In the Arab world they were seen as all but invulnerable. Today the failures of those armies against Islamist guerrillas in Iraq and Lebanon have conveyed the very opposite of the message Bush wanted to send. If the current situation continues, with America bogged down in Iraq and Israel mired in its fight against Hizbullah, then the presumption of U.S-Israeli military invincibility--which has kept Arab extremists in place for decades--will be exposed as a myth. That could embolden Islamist radicals for a long time to come. Unless he is prepared to spend a lot more on his military, defense analysts say, the president who so badly wanted to project strength will be remembered mainly for projecting weakness.

wtf?

Look: if you're calculating your avergae total monthly solar insolation per meter squared PER DAY and trying to compare it compare it to a monthly solar radiation distributed through out the entire month per meter squared, you're fucked.

straight fucked.

miyagi?

miyagi-son, is that you?

what's your incident angle of terrestrial solar radiation?

like this

see, the case study's got me like this

[puts arm behind back]

and i'm all like this

[taps out]

but i need to be all like this

[reverses that shit]

and do this

[cross-face chicken-wings case study]

jackyl

Dirty Little Mind
Dirty Little Mind
Dirty Little Mind
Dirty Little Mind

Well I licked her clean from head to toe
I took her down for the count
And she was ready for more
And you know she's got a dirty little mind
The way she walks
The way she grooves
I got to strap her down to keep up with her moves
she's got a dirty little mind

She's got a dirty
Dirty
Dirty
Dirty
Dirty little mind
A dirty little mind

Stretched out in the night
What do I feel?
I feel so good it just can't be real
She's got a dirty little mind
Well she makes me smile, yeah she makes me glad
She's B.A.D.
Yeah man she's bad
And you know she's got a dirty little mind

She's got a dirty
Dirty
Dirty
Dirty
Dirty little mind
A dirty little mind

She's got a dirty
Dirty
Dirty
Dirty
Dirty little mind
A dirty little mind

And I know what she's thinking
Yes I know what's on her mind
You've got to know, my body's sinking into her mind
And I know she'll never let go
Cause I've got her on a stick stick stick stick...stick

She got a dirty little mind
A dirty little mind
She like the way they climb
She got a dirty mind
a dirty little mind
a dirty little mind
D I R T E E E
a dirty little mind
That's right
dirty little mind
Keep it up all night long

She's got a dirty
Dirty
Dirty
Dirty
Dirty little mind
A dirty little mind

dirty little mind
dirty little mind
dirty little mind


billy idol gets it

I've got to get it together...

engineering case study?

I'm sick of these mutherfuckin snakes on this mutherfuckin plane.

redbull?


redbull!

REDBULL!!!!

huh?

the best part about this article is that the author and the people who were interviewed seem completely unmoved by the fact that the guy lifted the front of a camaro off another dude. The front, which is always the heaviest, of a car that is easilly 3500 lbs.

other than this brief story, i've been pouring 4 to 8 hours a day over the last 10 days into an engineering case study. It's the final.. something to my summer class. (sadly, my internal thesaurus juices are all used up)

yeah. i'm thinking this thing is easily going to top 40 pages of charts, graphs, figures and obscene drawings.

where am i?

I have nothing he wants!

sorry doesn't put humbs on the hand, Marge.

Huh...

Had the 4th's activities gone a little differently, this could have been us.

that would have been cool... except you know, we'd have gotten shot.

Also, have you people seen what's going on with myspace? I mean SERIOUSLY taken a look? I tried to block out all the news and media attention and even when the stories about little girls hooking up with random strangers busted, i resisted the urge to hop on. this right here is what that fox-owned site of 50 quadrillion users is propagating.

what the fuck? I feel dirty calling myself a blogger.

(sorry to the dude i linked to- he's kind of like in an indirect circle of known people)

WWIII

well, the pieces are falling nicely into place.

in this corner, the good guys: Well established countries looking to protect their interests. fat cats and "sophisticates," depending on who you ask.

In the home corner: Japan, Israel, The U.S., Germany, Canada, the United Kingdom and a spattering of tropical island-states with hot chicks. The U.S. after all owns all the countries it's aligned with, except maybe for Japan, but they have an interest in shmushing the missile threat from across the water.
missiles in your soup.

Excessive force?

i don't think so.

And in the visitor's corner, the rogue-states with nothing left to lose. The underrated and unrespected. Russia, China, North Korea, and Palestine, Iran, Egypt. Remember, Iran and China are newly best buds since the chinese need a big oil supplier and conveniently, the US doesn't much like to buy Iranian oil. Of course, it's hard to say what Iran will do in any situation, since they're basically the crazy guy running around with the hand grenade. Same with Russia- they've found a good customer in china, where as the "established" countries are only interested in reducing oil consumption.

Of course then there's india, which could be a big swing state for either side. Unfortunately, they're only interested in boosting their own economic status and could probably do just fine by themselves while we're destroying everything. If pushed to chose, they'd probably have to side with the economic super powers, unless they saw some overwhelming evidence that one side had a clear advantage over the other.

either way, this is cool.

we lose

they win

everything was better before

cut the power to the main circuits!

i can't sleep. I can't turn my brain off. can't stop thinking.

i'll distract myself with a photo blog from the week of the 4th. For more-better decriptions of the goings on, see here and here.


Once the Doctor was in town, we stopped for food. damn i could go for some gyros.



We went to a junk yard that had hundreds of aisles just like this one. It was heaven on earth, except there were fewer sluts that i expected in heaven. There was however rap music piped in over a P.A. system. (tryin catch me ridin' dirty...)

(side note: the cops did indeed try to catch me riding dirty just two nights ago- some shit about illegal window tint and "what's that bat in the back seat for?")


No BBQ is cmplete without one of these: By the way, if you're an employee of an agency that has "bureau" or "firearms" in the title, i assure you, the item below is nothign more than a glorified sewage drain... with a combustion chamber. and spark plug. and ignition coil from a 78 fiat.



And here you can see the notorious and i, deep in teh bush, engaging the enemy at 10 meters and sporting our urban jigalo-camouflage. Load the potato!



Finally, the fiat is dead for a while. This is what we in the busness (or scott) would call a corner demolition, except it's happening at all 4 corners. be strong little soilder.

recap:

Illegal Fireworks?
-Check
Geriatric Flirting?
-Check
Opposite Sex Shirt swapping?
-Check
Broken Car Compliments of Insane Driving?
-Check
Strippers?
-Check
Bloody Knuckles Compliments of Car Repair?
-Check
Potato Gun?
-Check
Marriage Proposal?
-Check
Unrepeatable Stories of Sexcapades?
-Check
A Three-County Wide path of Debotchery Leaving No Sin Un-Sinned, No Woman Un-Womanized and No booze Un-drunk?
-That's a Big 10-4 Little Buddy.

I can lead you to 4 Wisdom, but I can't free your brain from the evil of singularity.

before you think about following this link, be prepared to abandon all you have known and all you would be.

for it is time cube. damn your evil singular ways.

Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling

I watched the Big Lebowski again today. I very much like that movie. It calms me in ways that chemicals (both internally produced and externally injested) cannot. It's the story, i think does it, about an imperfect life, a realistic life of strife and such- Told in the context of the Highs and lows that such a lived life tend to cultivate; Strikes and gutter balls a the Dude would say.

[porn video]: You must be about ready to fix the cable.
Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.



You know what they say: Sometimes your eating the bar and...

Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

he shouldn't have blown the horn

UTICA, Mich. - A motorist is accused of crashing into another man's car and trying to run him down in an apparent road rage incident in Utica. David Ludwig , 36, of Hamtramck, was charged with assault with a motor vehicle and a second offense of drunken driving on Wednesday afternoon, Local 4 reported.

Police said they responded to the road rage incident at about 6:50 p.m. Tuesday. Ludwig, who was driving a 1993 Chevrolet Cavalier, is accused of cutting off a 1995 Plymouth Acclaim driven by a 25-year-old Shelby Township man at 19 Mile Road and Van Dyke Avenue, police said.

The driver of the Acclaim beeped his horn, and the Cavalier driver then pursued the Acclaim northbound on Van Dyke Avenue, traveling in the center turn lane to pass other cars, according to police.

The Acclaim motorist drove into the parking lot of a Huntington Bank located on Van Dyke Avenue, near Canal Road. The Cavalier driver was unable to use the driveway and drove over the curb to enter the parking lot, police said. Both men exited their vehicles and had a verbal altercation, according to police.

The Acclaim driver then exited the parking lot and drove north on Van Dyke Avenue. As the vehicle approached M-59, the Cavalier driver rammed the back of the Acclaim, police said. The Acclaim driver, attempting to escape the Cavalier, drove to the area of Cass Avenue and Chapton Street, where a relative lives, according to police.

The Acclaim driver parked in the street and ran into the relative's home. The driver of the Cavalier exited his vehicle with a tire iron and struck the Acclaim several times, breaking windows, police said. He then re-entered his vehicle and crashed into the Acclaim with his car, according to police.

The Cavalier motorist started to drive away, and the driver of the Acclaim came outside to inspect the damage to his car. The Cavalier driver then did a U-turn and drove at the Acclaim driver, who was able to jump out of the way before the Cavalier struck the Acclaim, police said.

Ludwig could face up to four years in prison if convicted of the charges, Local 4 reported. A judge set his bond at $100,000 stating that his anger and alcohol problems could make him a serious threat to the community, according to the station's report.



Also, apparantly we're farther away from mutant powers making better, than i had hoped. Instead, it would appear such mutations just kill us faster. I can't help but think of the various times television has inferred that i shoudl roll in nuclear waster to make myself a super man. And wishing i hadn't taken that advice.

SHANGHAI - Yao Defen, believed to be the world’s tallest woman, has begun treatment in a Shanghai hospital for a brain tumor which is largely responsible for her extraordinary height.

Yao, who is from a poor farming family in eastern China’s Anhui province, is 2.36 meters (7.74 ft) tall, Chinese doctors say. That is 5 cm taller than Sandy Allen of the United States, who is currently listed by the Guinness World Records as the world’s tallest woman.

Yao, 36, suffers from a large tumor in her pituitary gland, which has stimulated her body to release excessive amounts of growth hormone and has made her bones weak, doctors say.

time for a shortcut

greasy monkey

all the action is over here these days.

like kodak film.

man, i wish i could sleep.

oh well. your benefit.

sigh

The wheels are really coming off this one.

memorial day and such.

A&E has been showing a documentary about a marine reserve company that lost over 10% of it's men in Iraq. The biggest hit came when an entire transport full of men (approximately 15, including a couple Iraqis) was totally obliterated by a landline on a paved road that had supposedly been cleared earlier that day.

15 buddies from ohio, all gone at once.

At some point between 1 ad 4 this morning i watched it and highly recommend it, though i'm not sure why. I think it might have had something to do with the discovery channel (three stations lower on the dial) was simultaneously showing one of those "weapons of war" shows where they show you the factories that build the tanks and mini-guns and bombs and some jabroni host goes out and test fires them all on some old junker cars.


Sunday; 8 a.m. and 2 p.m. Memorial Day; and 11 a.m. Saturday, June 3.

shorty

I've seriously considered converting the FIAT to an all electric drive train with a possible removable combustion-driven power module in the rear. Who killed the electric car?

i'll do it too if you want to give me about 2 grand.

uh-oh

What's that, U.S.? You kidnapped a German (Dec 05? and i've never heard about this?) Citizen and sent him to GTMO? Damn... Probably won't hear too much about that in the main stream media. I guess the ACLU still cares about this guy and sure as shit the german government wants to know what the fuck we were thinking.

oh well, all's well in the face of terrorism. Unfortunately we'll never really know because yet again big brother has declared this entire topic a state secret, meaning that it can't even go to court since it would jeopardize the entire operation in the middle east, which we all know is going swingingly.

dreams and hopes

my birthday is a lot closer than it is farther. I want you guys to pool your money and get me this car. It has a iced bar AND a machine gun firing robot.

Also, thermodynamics continues to beat my ass. I thought grad school was easy. Munkey Stephens, i'm looking in YOUR direction.

that's not america

that's not even mexico.

(oYo)

(oYo) -Arial
(oYo) -Courier
(oYo) -Georgia
(oYo) -Lucida Grande
(oYo) -Times
(oYo) -Trebuchet
(oYo) -Veranda
(oYo) -Webdings (webdings)

Now, i don't know if its because this font shares it's name with a woman, or if it's tried and true unbiased judgement, but these: (oYo) look the most like real boobs

huh-ZA!

keepin it real. real generic.

fiat updates seen here.

Uh, Hello? The Onion? why do you think this article about talking with simpsons quotes is in anyway different from the way me and my people were living our lives 5 years ago?

Tonight the Pistons finally showed up and beat Labron and those guys from Cleveland and the other team that isn't our team. to re-cap, we (and by "we," i mean those millionaires who live in the northern suburbs of detroit) won the first two games in this best of seven series and then lost the next 3. Keep in mind that Detroit was pinned to win the whole taco this year. However, James is on his way to becoming detroit's next Jordan, who as you'll all remember, fucked up the bad-boys run back in the day. Keep in mind, that the media and NBA would love for lebron to win so he can go up against the big man, Shaq. But since you (and by "you," i mean you) don't watch basketball, i'll get off my soap box.

I will now devote my weekend to becoming a thermodynamicist. (that word is credited to notorious)

I can't feel feelings anymore

My man in the field, "night moves rob" (his name is night moves. and he's got 'em) sent me news from the underground. results below.

Don't

Press

Play

crying == crying

maybe everything will be okay.

crying == laughing

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12808954/

this pretty much describes it all. A 150K truck (figure a million each with cost of guarding and delivering it) delivered to people who don't want or know what to with it. Best i can figure, there aren't even adequit descriptors to express what's going on over there.

I'd put a pay check on the chances of these trucks ending up filled with explosives and driven into some police recruitment office.

what. the. fuck.

another insight into neurotic behaviors

i spent a measurable amount of time today trying to explain to another engineer why i would try to rebuild an early 70's-design Fiat transmission, and yet refuse to change my own oil. He argument was pretty obviously based on money savings and the comfort of knowing some high school flunk out hadn't touched your $10,000 to $50,000 piece of equipment. My argument was why would i want to drive to the store (gas+time) buy oil (money+time) come home, jack up the car, change the oil (dirty+time) and then return the used product back to the store (gas+time) when i can pay marginally more money and be done in 20 minutes?

Better things i can do with my time:

-Train
-Pound my girl (Free transmission 4th-gear synchro if you remember where this phrase is from)
-Read
-Rebuild a transmission
-Eat
-Father my robot son

Later, i realized it wasn't just a time issue. The secondary effect is, i've already mastered the art of draining hot oil and replacing it with cold oil. There's no learning curve and thus, i feel like i'm failing to better myself with that particular task. Shit, i could be sitting in my room learning how to type with all the fingers.... you can't buy that.

of course, now the obvious question is, what am i doing wasting my time typing this? Recreation, mind you, in whatever form it takes, is never a waste of time.

time to go tie one on.

as always

Scott bringin the power.

I got bid'nes to attend. And i can't attend my bid'ness without no damn signal.

also, check out the fiat page on the side bar

who was that guy?

every few months or so some random item in life will remind me of one of the many people i used to know. It's odd to think about how many people i used to know, compared to those i still do. Last count i've gone through nearly a dozen jobs and half as many schools. How many phone numbers didnt get transferred over from the 4 cell phones i've owned?

and then, for example, i'll pick up a tool i used to use as a fire alarm tech and say to myself, "i wonder if jeff ever went back down south?"

i think the negative effect this is all having is, am i becoming less likely to accept new people into my life? sub-consciously, do i suspect they're all just extras in the sitcom of life and likely won't be around by next season?

i dont think i'm there yet.

what kind of hospital is this?

is it the natural gas that's giving me these ideas? because they're brilliant.

why no pinch?

i pinch

Berrenda,

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

shut your flaming face

You have started the CAT-BUN wars!!!

With a side of danger

bana-na-na-na-na

just in case

Anyone didn't see this link

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060508/scahill.

no work today = no pay today

the plan for the transmission fell through (what kind of tranny shop only rebuilds domestic shit?), and at nearly the same time, a family member offered me use of his company's "shop" to use for parts cleaning and the like, should i want to in his words "truly have the car restoration expeience."

well fuck. I'm not sending it to the east coast for a $600 to $800 rebuild and i'm not buying some suspect tranny off the web for $500.

Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

Fuck everything, we're doing five blades.

What i'm trying to say it, clear off the work bench. there's a reason i played with legos for the first 24 years. I'll rebuild the tranny my damn self.



get me my tools.

thumbs up

i pulled my my tranny out of my own car in my own garage today. As nick says, that's like some sort of life accomplishment. I agree. but before i get too full of myself, i have to think back to the things people were doing with cars in the 60's.

the glory days indeed.

widen the divide

you guys remember Tony from Tech Ultimate? You remember his beard? You remember his dad?

Probably not, but you will now. At least until the next hilarious, must see, 30 second internet clip.

weekend update. on tuesday.

Saturday was work on car day. During the brief pre-electrical-tear-down drive around the block, the Fiat transmission managed to violently disassemble itself. We're talking tell-tale sound of metal hitting concrete and a walk down the street to retrieve debris. Apparently the first universal joint came apart and intersected with the linkage case. Hilarity ensued.

Transmission rebuild just trumped electrical rebuild with the left.



As a tactical response, I purchased a socket set capable of destroying a common man.



Also, in Detroit this week, a rapper from the shadey crew was capped in his dome and someone died when they called 911 and the operator accused them of pranking 911 and then some more people died. I had some links to the stories... but you know.

For Wildman...

{put's on Air Supply record, track 7}

What's that Hulkster? Well yes, it's is time to dump the contents of the camera phone and show everyone what a great time we're having here in Detroit!

I know just how to fake it
and I know just how to scheme;

I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream.


Notorious sent a picture of some windmills
they're building where he's at. {sniff, sniff}
I smell Progress!

and...

wh- wh- wha- what? What's this? the Sophist is refueling a Hydrogen
powered fuel cell car??? Yes that is the DCX F-Cell and all the hotties
are flocking to it (because green makes chicks wet). In the background
you can see the hydrogen troll and his pointy red hat. It appears the
revolution is at hand... the sexy revolution!


The beating of my heart is a drum
And it's lost and it's looking for a rhythm like you.

You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright.

I've got to follow it 'cause ev'rything I know
Well it's nothing 'til I give it to you!!


Sometimes mother company lets me suckle from the teet of it's
test fleet. Finally the Sophist gets some respect on the roads
and from his neighbors in the form of a 2500HD, Solid axel, big-
balled, cock on wheels. I could have had the Sebring coupe, but
then i'd have kicked my own ass.

But then again, i've been inflicting enough pain on myself. No, i don't
think full marathons are for me; I'd like to be able to sprint from time
to time, as well. I like to think of myself more of a monster truck in the face of life, so maybe i'll do that 10-mile trail run coming up...
(shit, that 13th mile hurt)




Time now to put some work in on the Fizzle. Sure it ain't got much trunk
space for dead hookers, but the ability to attract said hookers (in a less
corpsey state) is greatly increased, thus making the live-to-dead hooker
conversion process much more efficient. Technology solves the world's
problems yet again.



Making love out of nothing at all.
Making love - out of nothing at all.


GapingVoid


Is it the natural gas that's giving me these great ideas? because they're brilliant...

bad day at work

Sophist so, you realize the war in the midle east is forever now, right?
Sophist Coworker Yes.
Sophist crude oil supply concerns:
Sophist http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5612507/
Sophist crude oil countries have all the power:
Sophist http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12085050/
Sophist war forever
Sophist (we're boned)
Sophist Coworker yes
Sophist noone knows what to do, because they're all fools
Sophist http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12098678/
Sophist Coworker sigh
Sophist madness reigns... car companies desperate to sell more cars...
Sophist yeah, that'll work
Sophist stave off death for another quarter
Sophist reactive, not proactive
Sophist everything will be okay as long as we sell more cars this month
Sophist who really thinks this is going to magically heal itself?
Sophist Coworker Manufacturing guys.
Sophist sure. their whole life is based on economies of scale
Sophist if we could just build more, cheaper...
Sophist Coworker Then people will buy them because they have to.
Sophist Coworker Riiight.
Sophist sigh
Sophist Coworker I'm so frustrated with this country/job/way of thinking.
Sophist i'm not going to play the roll of dooms-day-sayer...
Sophist but things have the potential of gettign very bad indeed
Sophist Coworker Things have very big potential of getting very bad.
Sophist Coworker although, if you think about it, there hasn't been a major world conflict in 60 years or so.
Sophist no, not one in terms of "here is peace" and now "here is a major step function into war times 10"
Sophist instead it's slow and steady
Sophist ramping up
Sophist Coworker it's like the frog in the pot of boiling water.
Sophist you think of conflicts in historical terms, you think of what day they started and what day they ended...
Sophist there is no definition here
Sophist just escallation (sp?)
Sophist Coworker Yup.
Sophist there are a lot of theories about what it will be like when the oil supply starts to really pinch, as in the U.S. can't get what it wants
Sophist Coworker We'll flex our muscle.
Sophist Coworker Well, that largely depends on who is in charge, I guess.
Sophist a common theme is war (forever)
Sophist Coworker If we had a good leader. I mean really good
Sophist it won't matter, because people are going to put someone in charge that will do their biddiing
Sophist Coworker We could delay that for 50+ years
Sophist and their bidding is SUVs
Sophist Coworker Ok, you've turned into the doomsayer
Sophist hey man, bush got re-elected
Sophist had to be a reason
Sophist
Sophist and maybe that's why the Dems have no legs, too idealististic? i don't know
Sophist Coworker time will tell

i believe that you are ninja too

first, you can get an example of what i'm talking about right here

this one is pretty damn funny as well. Actually, i think it might be better.

ah hell, just check out the site.

Answer: Two Hours and Twenty Minutes

Question: What is, How long does it take the sophist to run a Half Marathon with a sprained ankle?

That is correct.

Points of interest. By mile 8 i was so hungry, i briefly considered eating a cat i saw wonder onto the course. Something was amiss in my race prep, because though i've never felt this hunger while training, my stomach was screaming for food during the race. I think a snickers bar would have shaved 10 minutes oiff my time.

My ankle was a distraction by mile 10ish.

The next step was supposed to be, well, run the full damn thing. I'm not so sure i'm convinced that devoting my entire physical prowess to running 26 miles is a good idea. I think for now i'll stick with 13 as my maximum distance of hustled foot travel, and i'll work on that time.




should've eaten more bananas and left my red hat at home.

ouch

Time to take a step back from the doom and gloom of reality and focus on the fluff of everyday life. The half marathon i was supposed to take part in April 1st is a big question mark right now, as i rolled and sprained my ankle playing basketball last Sunday. (I shouldn't have been playing that near to a marathon, but UNC needed me on guard and i couldn't let 'em down) Basically its fucked. That night it swelled nicely and a few days later the bruises appeared above the heal and at the shin.


Three days after. Note it should appear much "bonier."


One week after

Today i wrapped the hell out of it ad hit the treadmills. Yes, i too despise the treadmills, but since winter came back in the form of a slushly, wet, snowy, crap from the sky last night and today, the rat-wheel was what i had. I ran it, but it's sore.

Here's what's great about these pictures: on the first one, you can see in the background my "monkey's playing poker" boxer shorts that Holly got me. Chances are, unless i'm drunk, you're never gonna see those in person. In the second photo, you can see my freakish toes that are webbed between the 2nd and 3rd digit. Makes me a better swimmer and as far as i know, has never been documented on the internet.

See, this web site is like one of those discovery channel medical shows. Also, i learned that's it's very hard to manipulate photoshop so bruises will show up on film. I'm not sure why, but that's good information to have.

beat the drum

"I am more convinced than ever that we should all be prepared for the inevitable collapse of society." There no way to say that sentence without people looking at you oddly. It's not something you can talk about at work. Your family will not engage you in this conversation at Xmas. There's really no reason to think about it very much.

oh well, i'm sure everything will be fine. No need to buy a gun and leave the major urban areas.

Everyone should read "The end of Oil" by Paul Roberts. I also recommend "Crossing the Rubicon" by Michael C. Ruppert.

If you're really into it, try The Long Emergency, Blood and Oil, The Geography of Nowhere... there are other.

Soon i will send those of you on the list a DVD copy of "The end of Suburbia," but it may take some time to get those out. I'll also include some absurd animation that will help take the edge off the other material, and hopefully you'll want to kill yourself less.

quotes

quotes have been popular lately. here's one.

"Reality is that which continues to exist after i stop believing in it."
-Some guy

This would imply that even though I may not be mentally ill, if the world at large is mentally ill... then that is the reality. hmmm. this could be more true than we want to admit.

On the other hand, if we all stop believing in something like, say, numbers... well then numbers would be no more. See, there's a difference between numbers and quantities and we can make number just go away, because they're arbitrary like laws and morals. This is what the guy who sits across from me couldn't understand when i tried to explain that there are no absolutes. His argument was that as an engineer, i have to base my entire mental architecture on a system of absolutes that will continue to hold true under all circumstances. i.e, Math. Duality may include two sides, but your mental assignment of the word "two" is still up in the air. Besides, from a numbers-applications stand point, 50 is a lot closer to infinity than, say, 2, even though are numbers would have us believe otherwise. Consider i have a gun with 50 bullets and you have but 2 rounds. See: infinitely better.

The reason the older, roman system of numerals didn't hold up is because the Romans had no zero. The Arab system, on the other hand, had this key "nothing" number, allowing for a more complex type of math, which was algebra and eventually calculus.

what does it all mean? Reality is that which ceases to exist when i do?

"I bang my head against the wall because it feels good when i stop."

"What good is he if he can't beat Christos?"

i have finally (nearly) finished the total brake re-job on the Fiat. Like a tumor, i just pulled out stuff that was bad, until only good parts were left. This led me to replace the master cylinder, brake fluid reservoir and hoses, and several of the hard-lines that run under the car. Also, the pads, rotors and calipers and flex-lines where replaced on all four corners. The amazing thing is, not only was the system severely leaking fluid, the calipers were rusted frozen and the hand brake was nonexistent. The only way the car could have stopped during the brief drives loading and unloading it on the trailer, was through the friction of the seized calipers. On top of that, who ever re-assembled the brake calipers lat, did it completely wrong, and since i put back the way i found 'em, it took me several hours to figure out what the hell i was doing wrong. Oh, also the hard line into the master was cross-threaded, making that leak and rust as well.

The good news is, now i need only bleed the system and make/tighten the final line connection. Now i just need a friend to come help me out...

I don't know what the hell the guy who did the brakes was thinking, but surprisingly the rest of the car is in pretty decent shape. It's going to need a muffler, which i i'll probably just have done and then i can straighten out the Italian-electrical gremlins. But that's all regardless because once the brake system has been brought online, i can test drive it for the first time.

I have defeated the brakes. What's that Chong Li?

Chong Li: Very good. But brake not hit back!

I'm drunk, so bare with me

i just got back from the local sports team game that i watched from some supplier's ultra-plush suite, the ticket for which i got from my job. See, as an employee of Auto-maker X, supplier Y offered our group tickets to this suite as a way to say "thanks." This was the ultra pimp-yourself event; my boss and his boss and the supplier's and their bosses and everyone's jerking each other off while sporting that shit-eating grin, presumably as a way to make yourself more marketable.

A little background: I knew what this was going to be and told myself i wouldn't go... but for some reason i turned colors and agreed to the ticket. Basically EVERYONE i come into contact with from my job was there. In the end, i decided free booze and food was not to be turned down.

I spent a lot of time talking to the wives because the men folk were busy "talking shop" and "wanking each other"... (i was only given one ticket, so was there solo). Apparently a lot of these people have daughters that are my age, because when it was all said and done, had been offered two daughters and a place to live rent free from my various drunken babbling. (to any of my girlfriends that might read this: i graciously declined all offers, except the one to tag-team that one guy's wife while he video tapes; we're working out the copy-right ownership). All i had to mention was some combination of "Employee of auto maker X" and "grad student" and they were offering up partial nudes of their first born. I wish i had brought a prostitute to help pass the time. In the end, i particularly enjoyed the awkward conversations of filler b.s. i had with my boss's boss, whom i've met only once before, with priceless tags like "how's it going" and "great to see you again."

During the long, shockingly-warm walk back to my car, i resolved (while partly drunk) to give all the money in my wallet to a homeless person, but never had the fortitude to follow through. it seemed like it might be a good way to smite the corporate-wheel-greasing system. In all, several lessons were learned.

1) the suites at "local sports team" arena are all different. Some look like hotel rooms, other look like strip clubs. 97% of the people who populate them are corporate schmucks in bad shirts.

1) middle class greed beats white-guilt every time.

2) it's still okay to drive drunk in detroit. err... partly drunk.

Did i mention that i kinda turned own a job offer earlier with supplier Y? yeah... it would have paid insane money, but i decided it wasn't worth it because i wouldn't have enjoyed the job. i'm not sure what the bigger self-lie was: the previous statement or the idea that i'll find something that *is* fulfilling. Anyway, i met the dude that they ended up giving that job to... I was like "have fun with all that, buddy." It was all oddly satisfying, in a "you screwed that chick that i turned down because i knew she has the hiv, kinda way."

i'm out.

this is very much how i feel about the Fiat.

Y'all need to open your ears up and soak this game up

Allow me to practice my sophist ways:

I have seen the future, my friends, and it doesn't live in a dog-forsaken cubicle. I may be the last to see the light, but my eyes are opening now... It's obvious that working for a giant corporation, sitting in a box under brain frying fluorescent lights and waiting patiently for death is a bad way to earn that 401K. But now those jobs are leaving, which is probably the best thing that could happen for a group of young (good looking), inventive (scrappy) and far-sighted (can hold our liquor) individuals such us. Master P says "Start a business"

Indeed Master P. Indeed.


We aint beefin like nah we on the positive vibe
But i still get the homocide squad on the side
See im holdin on to the steering wheel controllin the ride
And yall comin out a bumpin cuz i got it in drive


We need to come up with the good ideas and begin implementation of plan A. How can it be any riskier than working for the man? I've seen and heard about TOO many people that lose stupid jobs that they hated and end up crying in their beer over the whole deal.

It's time to start that race car school for strippers.

It's time to make a porno with an all Luara Branigan soundtrack.

It's time to start training for that race around the world.

Another night, another day goes by
I never stop myself to wonder why
You help me to forget to play my role
You take my self, you take my self control

indeed Laura Branigan. Indeed.

shout out

must... train... harder

scheduled to run this half marathon in April.

you think this is the kind of guy that would complain about a "bad day?"

oh yeah

Rob wants everyone to watch the internet video about 9/11 called 911-Loose Change. I agree. Just be ready to be very freaked out. In fact, i think notoreous could maybe offer some input about the feasibilities discussed with the aircraft?

update

I've been busy as hell. Fortunately, other than work, i've managed to pack my life full of things i WANT to be doing rather than those we're more ofthen than not forced to do. Mondays and Wednesday I put my time in at college, where i often see you mother... see... because she goes to college. Thursday has become weekly Risk night. However last night we also played this absolutley incredibe game Zombies! Finally, Friday is indoor unltimate night. Last week i managed to experienced the two greatest feelings in an ultimate game:

Picture this: You're on offense, and you cut deep and hard. I mean real deep, like a 75% length of the field cut and your defender is left picking up his socks. You look over your shoulder and see the disc coming in fast and high; If it's a bullet to the end zone, you're going to have to swing your head around, get your bearings and look straight up... and thats when you're in that moment, when you can't see the disc and you're running staright up and staring at the sky (or ceiling). But if you read it well before, you know it'll be coming into view over head. And then it does. and you catch it. and you are the champion of the world.

Now you're back on defense trying to stop the score in the end zone. The force is home side but the mark is weak and the the handler owns your teammate. The long, hooking throw is comming in from the away side, high, about to land right in your man's hands... your only option is to throw yoursef mercellesly into the air (you've only got one chance on the timing) and smack at the air with a long, outstretched finger. You half expect to cut throigh the air unchalleneged but then you feel the tell tale resistance of the plastic disc being angrilly re-directed off you finger tips, thus ensuring that you've prevented the score... and you're now free to fall uncontroled and broken to the floor, several feet below. Cheers ensue.

I love this game.

In fact, my job even managed to entertain me this week. I spent some tim ein the cold room, which is basically a big ass garage that's climate controled to the extreme. On this particular day, they had it dialed in at -40 degree farenheit... that's -40. To demonstrate the extreme of this temperature, someone took a cup of scalding water and thorugh it's contents into the air... it's instantly turned to white powder and came down as snow. Phase changes are awsome.

So, aside from these daily obligations, i'm still trying to put the Fiat in running order and keep the lady happy. Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge.

truth

thanks for the link, Rob

I need my pain; it's makes me who i am

there's been a lot of posting and replyin going on here, so i figured i'd keep the trend alive. I boughtthis computer from dell and am lying in bed typing on it right now. I'm sore as hell from ultimate last night: I owned a couple guys in the end zone with some mad catches and blocks... but they tend to end in spine jarring landings on one's side and/or head.

Side note: with this stupid laptop, i feel like tom hanks in "you've got mail."

I guess the event of note is, i didn't buy a mac this time. It's odd to have it worry about viruses again, not to mention the fact that i spent the first 8 hours of ownership re-installing windows to free myself of all the crap software they package on a new machine. (here's one for gnome: you gotta check out this program called acronis trueimage: it creates a partitioned image of your entire operating system and all drivers and applications so once you labor over getting your system set up perfectly, you always have a completely recoverable set-up from boot. There's other benfits, check it out.) living with a hacker is very nice.

Finally, i'd like to point more attention to "brokeback to the future." damn that was funny.

Oh yeah, this guy seems to have it all figured out. If you've ever heard his rant about how the purity of the Olympics has been lost and how every American thinkgs you're a failure if you don't bring home a gold, you'll more appreciate what happened last week.

the FUTURE Conan?

In honor of Notoreous' arrival on the interwebs, i would like to dedicate this link to him.

what is love?

I'm going to destroy you

"click"

today leaving work i saw a car try to ram another car off the road.

http://www.remtek.com/arms/glock/model/45/30/index.htm

smells like an old library...

Chestocrates got me thinking:

so i think i mentioned here the recent death of an aunt the the monumental amount of items she had in her house. Well, several months later, the greater share of these good have been sorted through, sold and distributed. As reward for my weekends spend cleaning and carrying, i acquired an old bookcase that once sat in my grandfather's office. He was a doctor in detroit and eventually gained a certain degree of notoriety as a public figure and sat on a few hospital boards. This particular oak case has twin glass doors and is about the most sexy piece of furniture i've ever seen, not to mention is hold twice as much as my home-made job. The man himself, i never did meet. They tell me he raised quite beautiful peacocks.

Along with the bookcase, i was free to have any book i could carry out of the place. There were, in my best guess, maybe 1000 or 2000 titles in all. Most of the paperback junk was sold for twenty five cents apiece, but it was the leagues of hardcovers and classics that caught my eyes. Almost ever book Vonnegut penned, some of them in first edition prints. Any "classic" author you could imagine was represented, such as Gore Vidal, Faulkner, Ryand, Fitzgerald... the list goes on. And it's not just one or two books, but every title that these authors had... not to mention the scores of books and people i'd never even heard of. Then there was the really obscure stuff; german texts from the turn of the century, an anti new-deal book called "the abundant life" (very intereting) and the book about the three guys who all think they're Jesus, to name a few. I ended up with maybe 50 books for myself, since i didn't want to be overly greedy. Some of these look to be worth some decent money and i'm sure there were a few gems that ended up being donated to various charities.

long coming

Now that i'm all back doing the college thing, i been busy.

First, i'm officially off my Mac high-horse; I ordered a PC-based Dell laptop. Sorry Mac, you would have made a nice laptop, but that would require the offset of a PC desktop.


Site attendance was up last month. I suspect is had something to do with Girls crushing cars. Also, for some probably ceepy reason, that picture of holly holding a bat with the "peed herself" caption has been highly searched and linked in UK search engines... They're probably using it in some weird scat site. awesome.

In case you didn't hear, there was a super bowl here last weekend. (how's this for a cellphone camera?? nice...)

Damn place was blowing up with people. We took these shuttles (buses) from the outer regions to get to the downtown area and it was just insane. These buses were surrounded by a sea of people and i couldn't help think in my mind, "this is what it will be like when the end comes and they're trying to evacuate an entire cities' population in a short time."




Text version of this website

mother?

Veronica Corningstone: Take me to Pleasure Town!
Ron Burgundy: Oh, we're going there!

There is a GOD! and he loves us... How else can i explain these girls crushing cars?

What the sweet hell is going on on this internet? Who are these people??? Heather, you sweet-vixen, car-crushing, self proclaimed revolutionary and seeker of enlightenment...

could it be? DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? We find these freakish things on the interwebs and we crap ourselves a little then we take a shower and forget about the whole ordeal, but didn't you see? all those car-crushing bio's said they were from michigan. MICHIGAN, DAMMIT!

THIS JUNK YARD IS 15 MILES FROM MY HOUSE. (scroll down for map) Ypsilanti, WHY, Ypsilanti??

...so tired...
...so defeated...

super ball's in detroit this year. that's the home of robocop

--meatwad

I love it: such a simple idea and yet so important. After five days of labor we set two aside and redefine ourselves. Two days to remember that we are not merely corporate cogs, but instead are Fiat mechanics and marathon men, professional drinkers and amateur dancers (or could it be the other way around?), body builders, recreational readers, hackers, music aficionados and of course, sweet, sweet love makers.

Five plus two, repeat until desired results are reached.

(of course, I guess the theory is we’re always working towards a job that makes those five days feel like an extended weekend. But until I can find a job that changes every day, lets me use my hands and my mind, involves lots of sweet, sweet lovin and has greats benefits, I’ll be relying on the weekends for my satisfaction.)

this weekend is particularly crazy round these parts do to el supero bollo (thank you three years of spanish)

i can't help but quote this ESPN blog: If you love burned-out brick buildings, this is the city for you; I have to believe Detroit leads the nation in low-rent housing that's been devastated by combustion. And this raises a question I had never considered until today: What (or who) is causing all of these fires?

My initial assumption was that these places were torched on purpose, probably for slumlord insurance purposes. However, a friend who lives here claims this carnage is usually caused by squatters; a building gets abandoned, it becomes occupied by rap-battling hobos, the hobos start a fire inside a garbage can for warmth, and fiery chaos eventually ensues. This makes sense (sort of), but the sheer number of these burned-out houses makes me imagine an explanation that's far more sinister. Is some supercriminal traveling around the city, randomly burning everything he sees for pleasure? This town truly needs a RoboCop.

we've all got secrets

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10927526/ I however would like to take credit for the idea of using sept 11 to fake your own death

here we go again

a lot of automotive folk found out monday that they were getting canned in the short future; it was news that one couldn't escape for three days in these parts, and now has sipped into obscurity along with the fact that sweden has vowed to be completely fossil fuel free by 2020. (google it; i don't have the energy to link)

Well now i must break my short lived vow of not trying to figure things out in a public forum-type setting. As the voice of the masses carries so far, i couldn't block out the common themed cries about "fat cat auto execs" that take million dollar bonuses while the company is "selling out the working man."

[sigh]

no one ever mentions that the "working man" in this case can easily make upwards of 100K a year with OT. I think people are afraid to state the obvious, which is these jobs are based on a legacy of low-skilled people performing repetitive tasks for what probably amounts to some 5 hours a day. Do you understand what i'm saying? Sure, maybe half those workers are real "hands on type" people, but the other half aren't even familiar with basic hand tools, which wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so god damned cocky about their jobs and such.

Likewise, why should anybody, executive or otherwise, volunteer self inflicted pay cuts at company A, when company B, C and D are paying the going rate for the work they're qualified for? I think the red-states will agree with me when i say nothing's more american than leaving a perfectly good job for one that pays slightly more money.

I've decided that when i look out onto the city of detroit, it's not unlike staring at one of those 3D posters. If you focus too closely, you'll go insane trying to count the squiggles. If you let things get to hazy, you might as well be in a drunken stupor. You have to find just the right amount of focus. (of course, those 3D posters never worked for me and i suspect everyone who claims to see the sail boat is a lying fuck)

Being a battery engineer, today i stopped a finished car going out the plant door, so i could use it to test-run a battery charger. When i opened the hood, i noticed that the screws meant to hold in one of the head lights were sitting in the holes but completely unfastened. The freakin light could have fallen off the car at any time. I asked the repair guy if he was going to report it and he said "what's the point?"

What's the point indeed

worms in my brain get them out

As mentioned, i have very limited internet access at work; almost completely utilitarian in nature, we get sites like Map-quest, weather.com and one that was just recently added, MSNBC. At first i thought it would be nice to have a ready internet distraction during the all too frequent down times and when i can't stand another piece of alternative energy literature without incurring the onset of seizures. But like most grand ideas, (most notably, the idea of "a stripper wife") this was not as great as it would seem.

Look, the problem is i have too much time, enough to read every article MSNBC has published in a week. It's too much and at the same time not enough... first i start on a national level. these articles about the war, they just don't mean anything by themselves, like looking at a mural through a pin-hole. See, today, i read about John Walker Lindh. He was a freedom fighter, see and he was fighting against the northern alliance with a team the U.S. supported back when john first went into the bush. Then things changed and everyone switched sides. They say he thought he was being rescued by U.S. forces when they picked him up; boy was he wrong. But then again, did he start the prison riot that killed that CIA official? One story with so many perspectives. things aren't going as well as some would like you to believe. A lot of people die but a lot of people don't; they just get blown up and put back together.

There was another article; it was about famous football players who get killed in the war by friendly fire and normal people who get the same thing. It told us about letters home that say they were heros and how many unfriendlies were killed by that person and the way to keep up moral is to keep FF on the DL. It was here because i saved it and now it's gone forever even though MSNBC keeps articles online for months after they're published. And then i wonder if i ever even read that article and think quietly "is anyone keeping track of this?"

See, the average person would never have time to read all this crap everyday, but then when you do, it's like a curse. Right, here's the problem: we weren't there and we'll never really know what happened. In fact, even if we were there, we'd only know what happened from our side of the room and that doesn't tell you a damn thing about what the other guy saw let lone why those people where doing that thing they may or may not have done. Does it make any sense? It's like when you ask for someone's opinion and they try to see things from your perspective but they can't because your perspective is built off a lifetime of experience that can never be fully understood even by you, let alone the guy in the cube across from you who just disappeared one day because his "legal issues" caught up with him and his wife thought the judge was going to go in the guy's favor especially with the baby involved but it didn't work out that way and no-one every saw him after that. Too much but not enough. I think his name was Ron because that's the person people ask for now when they walk by his desk two or three times and say "didn't ron sit over here?" and i say who?

i think i'm going to take a little time off to work on my car.

once more for the crowd

In case you haven't figured it out, MSN is one of the few websites i have access to at work. I don't know why they choose this.

Anyway, turns out americans are the sober, photo snapping snitches of the space party: see for yourself

Also, keep your enemies closer, as they say.

hope for the future

my seven (is he seven?) maybe eight year old nephew just got a little pet rat and very little white pet mouse. he named the rat "lieutenant Magma" and the much smaller mouse "tiny."

genius, pure genius.

reality pulls us back in

sometimes i hate online news sources because they can amend articles and then you have no proof of the original content. for example, this article about Ray Nagen originally didn't elude to any controversy surrounding the New Orleans Mayor and simply quoted his racist comments as fact. Thinking it was pretty funny, i planned to post it here. Of course, now that one person somewhere had an original thought and realized this guy's a dick, MSN jumped on board for the big win.

Also, everyone should read this article about friendly fire. It should ellicite some kind of response, even if you are dead inside.

crazy old man

I miss the old guy at work. He was a retired employee of "company X" that came back as a contractor (basically like me) to fill some time, make some money and offer some expertise. I don't really know a lot of people where i work because i only actually do work with a few of them. Also, as we all know, engineers don't make very exciting friends, and i'm surrounded by hard-core desk-jocky engineer types. Frank, as he was appropriately named, was not only a constant presence, but also a good guy with which to discuss the nothings that you discuss to fill the day. Unfortunately, as of the first of this year, he is re-retired.

Since we were both contract workers for the worst engineering group in the company (leadership-wise) we had (or "have" in my case) a lot of empty time to fill. When we got bored, we'd wonder around our huge engineering complex, discussing for the most part, cars. I can say without a doubt that he had some degree of experience with every aspect of automotive design and manufacture. Also, he was a former supervisor, so it made me feel a little better when he agreed that our immediate higher-up was a useless mass and most of the industry is not as we live it. If it hadn't been for this old guy, i would have learned very little in the past 6 months. Worse, the bit that i picked up on my own was the real trivial stuff, like "how to fill out form Z" or "where to request access A." You know, the type of stuff that the losers above would ask me to do as my part in the cogs of the corporate gear system. Even still they pretty much leave me to fend for myself on that info. Frank, on the other-hand, was preaching the good stuff; how to get ahead in the business, how to interact with the factory workers, ways to subvert, side-step or weasel around the system. He could talk to angry plant/quality/whoever managers and tell them not what they wanted to hear, but what he need to say in a way they'd want to hear it.

we would often find ourselves working at one of the many local assembly plants and end up walking the lines. He had such a wealth of knowledge it's just spill out. Then, when the topic of work wore out, we'd turn to the topic of cars in general. He was working on an old MG... i can't remember the year. He'd offer advice for the Fiat and even go as far as offer up use of his son's car hoist, should the need arise. Sure, occasionally he'd forget what topic he was speaking on and would require a reminder and yes, it was pretty hard to interject my own thoughts once he got rolling, but what can you do?

My old guy emailed me the other from Florida. He said the weather was wonderful and he saw a bobcat from his patio. He asked for an update on my current job prospect, which he was advising me about (still outstanding) and mentioned that he hasn't had a chance to go fishing yet, but you better god damned believe he's gonna. (the last bit were my words, not his)

the boob icon is broken :(

I love listening to Car Talk on public radio. Here's a great fan letter i found on the website.

a tech quiz

which of the following rumors is true:

a) high-tower quit his lucrative engineering job in alaska to return to tech to get a teacher's certificate in order to return to a remote city in alaska to be a teacher.

b) the wildman set a wedding date for his fall minneapolis wedding which will take place in a park.

Skelert, you're exempt from answering.

from the 313

this quite hilarious internet video oddly reminds me of my time spent in the U.P. last month.

Also, you guys have to check out the FBI's wanted lists. There's like the crazy lookin dudes you'd expect, but then's the the international man of mystery and the ex-military guy who probably joined the A-team... we should take bets on who of us will end up there.

Finally, i'm shocked at how much good content MSN has. And i can access it from work. this article deals with Lions and their thirst for human blood. Can you even imagine fighting a lion?


(Keep hitting refresh)

Eat your vegetables. Except Broccoli.

this is a pretty good article about diet vs. vitamin supplements.

this is a pretty creepy article about what happens when you light things on fire that are still alive.

I hate Detroit

it's funny too, because my last three roommates all loved this hell hole. Rapper and celebrity Obie Trice was shot last week on a Detroit freeway. I drive on that Detroit freeway. Then again, lots of people do. Then again some more, lots of people get shot.

Grey. Dead. Broke. Burned. like a rotting pirate ship long abandoned. It's not that the city is COMPLETELY devoid of all culture and entertainment... it's just that one has to work so hard to seek out such devices. Also, no offense to, uh, anyone, but the people around here ("here" being "the northern midwest") aren't exactly as a whole... attractive.

Unfortunately, or conveniently, this is really the only place were i can become a master of two trades I'm loving: autos and alternative energy. Today at work i sat in a million dollar car; one of only 60 that will ever be made, it's the first "consumer" fuel cell vehicle. From the outside, it was basically a compact with a fancy pant job and freakishly high curb weight. sadly, there's only two applicable gas stations in michigan, with no plans for additional. I'll avoid rambling on about the state of the industry and the technology and all that.

Monday i start classes: "Hydrogen Infrastructure and Alternative Energy Transportation." It's been exactly three years since i've been involved in any sort of scholastic program and i'm hoping it won't be too hard to clean the rust off the ol' gears. I think i'm excited. hopefully i won't get shot.

...damn i'm itchy for a tattoo...

update: this guy knows what i'm saying. Even if it is from a few years back. So basically Imagine this, but with time to get worse.

my online impersonation of an angry new englander

you ever wonder how much energy your TV uses when it's "turned off?" (i'll save you the medical mumbo-jumbo, it's probably between 10 and 25 watts.)

you want to see a lot of f'in pictures and videos of aircraft compliments of NASA?

eh?

you down with one of the best online sources for alt energy resources?

you know anything about the new hybrid tax laws ya punk?

(i should sleep now...)

let me check my notes, reprise

A poem for the new year, written by former detroit-blogger rob, inspired by the engineer's life.

A slave ship for stupid
white people of course,
opposed to smart indians
in Delhi; job outsourced.
Engineers aren't queers
so rest your fears,
of them surfing at work
gay porn.


But i digress. on a side note and AS an engineer (engineer of machines, engineer of men, engineer of funk), this year I hope everyone can learn to see the beauty of functionality.

let's do a round up:

astro-tourists? no.
flying cars? maybe after i get the fiat running.
meals in a pill? nay.
peace on earth/goodwill towards folks? negative.
ultra-efficient fuel-sipping cars? only in a honda press-release.

looks like we haven't caught up to the future yet. but then again, my cell-phone has a 3D graphics card and simultaneously can radiate microwaves deeper into my skull than any before, so we must be doing something right.