rubbin's racin'

Harry Hogge: Cole, you're wandering all over the track!
Cole Trickle: Yeah, well this son of a bitch just slammed into me.
Harry Hogge: No, no, he didn't slam you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you... he *rubbed* you. And rubbin, son, is racin'.

if you read only one book this summer...

then watch these instead:






For more, i recommend this, this, and this raw early episode.

follow up

Notorious has pointed us to some interesting information. But the real question is "who is this Eric Prince?" It's easy to pick on the no-bid Blackwater contracts and such, but who would be genius enough to think this up and twisted enough to really believe in it?



Homeboy hates the gays and the hippies.... but why?

Michigan born, but "Price," you say? Very Machiavellian, right? Plus there's the direct ties to the Devos' of Michigan and Amway International... Could you INVENT (imagine) a more EVIL empire?




Well, turns out he's a ghost and there is no information to be found. I guess he never existed at all! I feel better now.

All things automotive fuel

Preface: This is a wholly opinion based entry, constructed from readings, observations and deductions, as well as what I suspect is sound reasoning. Like the media, I’ve decided citations are unnecessary, for that time would be better spent drinking and watching porn.

Gasoline
Rundown: Gasoline is great but there is no better, cleaner or more efficient way to produce it, relying 100% on refining the goo of dead things from millions (or thousands, praise Allah) of years ago that. The oil, though requiring those millions of years to brew (Thousand --Allah), is being used up something in the order of a few centuries. All in all, it represents a definition for bad foresight, but it’s just so damn convenient, like a drunk party girl.

Outlook: There will always be some oil, but I'd prefer to use it for things like plastic bags, glock stocks, rather than lighting it on fire.


Diesel
Rundown: Diesel is like Gasoline’s bigger, older, uglier brother that says improper things around the family during thanksgiving and refuses to let you barrow his Led Zeppelin 2 CD to rip the songs. His only redeeming quality is a god-like strength that allows him to get a lot of work done, even if very little thought or technique is required. Much like your pot-smoking brother, Diesel has a lot of baggage that comes in the form of expensive materials and plumbing to clean up emissions of this un-refined fuel. The Europeans are big into the Diesel and have a lot of experience with it, recognizing early that they could better our state-side gas mileage by some 50%. As of 2007, tough emissions standards (In all modern countries) are preventing most companies from investing the money to develop a new series of Diesels for the US since demand is so low.

Outlook: Take it or leave it. Some people are obsessed with this fuel the same way they’re obsessed with quirky Scandinavian cars and hats with ear flaps, but the fact is, since there's less refining going into making the fuel, more refining is needed when using it. Pay now or pay later.

Ethanol
Rundown: If I lived on a coast I wouldn’t have to hear about ethanol nearly as much. Now ethanol demand is higher than ever and is currently contributing to a hay shortage for animals trapped in the snow. (normally when hey is short, they could feed ‘em corn- but we turned all the corn to fuel so we can drive nascar with out hippie intervention.) Ethanol emissions are similar to traditional hydrocarbons but the theory goes that growing the crop displaces the release of carbon-oxides. In the end, production of corn or other ethanol producing crops will adjust to meet demand, but it is unlikely that the US will be able to grow crop levels significant enough to offset fuel demands. The best thing going for ethanol is the idea that farmers (the kicking-dog of the modern economy) could grow the fuel of the future, is basically a wet dream for politicians.

Outlook: The great white hype will be around forever, likely as ad additive to all traditional gasoline in the 5 to 15% range, used to offset the necessary amount of imported oil. At these levels its presence will be transparent to the end users. Expect E85 cars to be a thing of the mid-west, or perhaps to die forever.

Bio-Diesel
Run-Down: Much like ethanol and Donny, the Bio Diesel (or b-dizzle as I like to call it) is way out of its league. Try as we might, we’re never going to consume enough chicken tenders and Taquitos to produce the excesses of cooking oil that the league of super hippies would require to power a country-sized fleet of late 90’s import diesel Volkswagens. Fact is, even as a produce based (soy, canola, bean sprout, what-EVER) derivative, we still run into the problem of size (of land) to yield (of fuel) ratios.

Outlook: The idea of using food wastes to create fuel is a great idea but it's not a game changer and is way over hyped. Unless we start buying 100lb bags of sugar from Central America for 13 cents to make the stuff (and thus interrupting the political dream of homegrown fuel and further angering the UFCW) expect to find the stuff as an additive to all diesel fuel in small quantities (<15%), and again off-setting the overall demand for ground-drawn oil.

Hybrid Electric Vehicles
Run down: The benefits of gas electric hybrids in their current form are trumped up fallacies, the likes of which we have not seen since the myth of the female Orgasm (kidding...). The complexity of a car with a two input drive train, duel propulsion sources (gas engine/electric motor) duel energy tanks (gas/battery) and a computer system to manage it all, far negates the minuscule gains in efficiency. These Rube Goldberg devices are going to be a mechanics worst nightmare, combining the worst of two worlds. In fact, by trying to create the perfect balance, It seems the engineers have missed the point completely.

Outlook: If there is a god, consumer hybrids will go the way of the Do-do, Crystal clear pepsi, and my transformers lunch box. A reasonable development would include electric or hydraulic-based hybrid system with regeneration used in commercial and industrial applications such as garbage trucks and UPS and mail vehicles, for these are the duty cycles required to see real benefits from such systems.

Hydrogen
As of now there exists no commercially viable method of cleanly producing mass quantities of hydrogen, nor is storage of hydrogen with energy density equivalent to gasoline even remotely possible. None of this of course would matter should oil run up to about $200/barrel. The promise of a near-term hydrogen future is a lie.

Hydrogen Fuel Cells
Rundown: Hydrogen fuel cells are unreliable beyond a few thousand hours of use and require super expensive platinum as a catalyst. The dominant automotive technology, PEM (proton exchange membrane) fuel cells are delicate and require highly pure hydrogen, operable only within the temperature range of water (0 – 100 Celsius) Worse, the often neglected, NASA pioneered Alkaline Fuel Cell (AFC) which is better suited to the demands of an automobile, has been virtually wiped out by the empty PEM promises of a Canadian company (Ballard Fuel Cells) in the early 90s. Fuel cells continue to be expensive because while they’re “hand assembled by PhDs” materials ain't cheap either, such as DOW’s proprietary Nafion (a necessary piece of EVERY PEM fuel cell) trademark for which has yet to expire.

Outlook: Hold your breath, I dare you.

Hydrogen ICE (Internal Combustion Engine)
Rundown: When BMW announced the release of their duel fuel (hydrogen/gasoline) burning 7-series, they were pretty up front about it being a segue way technology. This way, without an outright commitment to a costly technology, the Germans can simultaneously spur the development of infant hydrogen infrastructure, test public demand for a “clean” vehicle and basically dip their tow into the hydrogen ocean. Unfortunately, as we’ve seen, cars with an abundance of technology and redundant systems are complex and costly. Not to mention that this tuned-down 12 (or was it 10?) cylinder engine only pumps out some 250ish horses. Worst of all, no one is paying attention to the fact that some 99.999999% of the hydrogen used will come from reformed natural gas (a heating fuel already in high price and demand- thanks Russia). So not only are we starting with a hydrocarbon, but we’re then reforming it (energy intensive with CO-based emissions) compressing and liquefying it (energy intensive AGAIN) and then burning it in a combustion engine with a thermally-based Carnot efficiency limit of some 40%. This is the fuel equivalent of burning $100 bills to clean out your chimney,

Outlook: Like banging a fat chick when times are rough, let us never speak of this perhaps necessary evil again, no matter how enjoyable or un-enjoyable it is.

The Electric Car
Rundown: The red-headed step child of the auto industry, the electric car is the greatest idea that nobody wants. Or at least that no one admits to wanting. Grid-charged battery storage is the most efficient way to transfer and use energy, even when considering the impact of coal power plants. Plus is takes two problems (car pollution and power generation pollution) and puts them into one basket (if all local commuting is done with electric cars, the majority of vehicle pollution AND all energy generation pollution can both be cleaned up by funding new ways to generate electricity... But darn it, I can’t think of any clean energy ideas with this stupid wind blowing in my face and this relentless sun pounding my forehead. I need a drink) With this method we have no oil, no anti-freeze, no gas, no catalytic converter (full of toxic emissions it collected) no transmission fluid, and probably no power steering fluid to deal with, and did I mention my company’s batteries are easily recyclable? Of course, electricity is hard to store in large quantities just like anything else (again, energy densities aren’t even close to gasoline) but the point is, if you can make it to work and back, and maybe to the gentleman’s club afterward, you’ll be good for 80% of your driving, you typical American, you. Besides, since most families have two or three cars anyway, you (and I) can still keep the 400hp GTO.

Outlook: In the tomorrow land, bank on seeing a nice mix of pure electric cars, and something like the volt below:

GM Volt
This is the greatest idea that most of us have known about all along: Pure electric to run short commutes with and gas or diesel engine to charge the batteries on longer drives. Not as simple as a pure electric car, but still very elegant, requiring only one drive train. This is backyard technology and I’ve often talked about doing the same with the Fiat- all electric with a small weed whacker engine or something for heat or extra electricity or added noise should I bore of the silent and clean operation.

The point is, until there is a tangible economic cost associated with pollution (read: carbon tax, sharp spike in the price of oil, more war in the middle east, etc) it will be impossible to displace the existing cheap and convenient hydrocarbon establishment.

i feel better

found here: http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/filing.191.html

Michigan wins again. Forever.

nostalgia (subtitle: tastes like burning)

I have a book under my bed that will hold something like 100 CDs. It's filled with computer discs; mostly burned media from college and old cracked computer programs such as AOE2 and WIN 98. Now that I've taken a semester off and officially resigned from formula car, (a result of my typical work day requiring 13-14 hours of my life) my weekends are actually pretty open. And since I'm in the middle of a paycheck-drought that comes with starting any new job, I've been catching up on my book-keeping. I've uncovered some pretty interesting stuff.

The first interesting archaeological find was my original MP3 collection, backed up onto two standard (not even the 700meg version) CDs. Those discs, burned in the first half of 1999 don't really compare to the 8739 songs composing 39.57 gigs on the imac right now... It's pretty amazing to think about those few precious songs that were listened to again and again in that cramped dorm room, often interrupted by a CD or two to break the monotony. Of course today, I've not yet even listened to half of the songs polluting my hard drive.

I found another sics that simply said "pics" and had material ranging from life in the dorms to a series of images from Sep 11.


Just another anonymous interviewee for the lode...


Kids today think they're tough. Rat-soup eatin muther fuckers.


And finally, I've included this because it makes me happy.


Remember when we tried to recreate this picture with just guys and we'd be standing on a snow bank with strategically placed discs? Yeah, the logistics, perhaps for good reason, never worked out on that one.


I also found all my photos from my "The Lode" days. Any one remember when the drag show came to tech? And we all pre-drank and then sneeked flasks into the show? And then we made out with those hot chicks who said they were only in town to see the show? (damn, even the drag-queens were unusually ugly at tech)


After reviewing the data, that drag show attracted a LOT of chicks (or alleged chicks) to the audience. It should have been a lot easier to scam some hoes there... but there's always that question in the back of your head.


And remember when i met that woman from Calumet and she asked me to take some pictures of her for a music CD cover? She insisted on paying me as well as giving me a copy of her CD which was, to this day, the WORST music i have ever heard. I kind of want to die just thinking about it. That CD was included free with the purchase of the caddy.


Keep in mind she designed all aspects of this shoot- I just made the clicks


Speaking of the caddy... If any object can, that car truly embodies the care-free, over the top days of college/past. Neary a conversation of the "long ago" comes up where someone doesn't bring up the caddy.


What can i say?


Likewise, there were the absurd Photo assignments. Like the rock-climbing club.


Remember when Scott got tough after high school?


Do you know how you get those awesome shots way up in the air? You take you camera gear and you climb that god damned wall.




And remember the "driving with a cell phone" assignment? Never mind the fact that there was only about 10 cell phones in Houghton at the time. (I of course had two of them) So how do you take a picture that demonstrates driving and cell-ing?


Dan the Man. The open road seen on his glasses seen on the mirror. Deep.

Two things to note about these pictures: 1) Wildman HATES cell phones and talking in general. This is, in come bizarr-O way, why he made the best candidate. 2) everything of interest in these photos (The car, the glasses, the phone and the monkey) were mine. P-I-M-P.



I always described the inside of the Caddy as "two recliners and a love seat." How did I NOT get more action back then?


And carnival... oh carnival.



another UN-STAGED photo for The Lode. Oh Dave.



And then that chick set herself on fire for me. (note: all donations go to red cross. i-RON-eee)


Finally, i present my only documented data that proves chicks dig cameras (and possible guys behind them) I encountered this chick around 2am of all nighter while shooting the crowd and she immediately put her face in the camera and stood on the button. She looks bent over because the camera was hanging around my neck and i was in the middle of a conversation with someone else- i think she was a friend of the person i knew. Three things are obvious to me now: She was wicked drunk, she loved to be in front of the camera and I was a fool.











Sigh. That's enough for one day. Some pictures i omitted for time: A picture of Mully taking a picture of girls dancing on our bar. (very surreal) Later, i would test that bar for integrity. Also, a picture of Lee's Hardcore-metal-godhead-little girl-dating-roommate. Also a picture of The Scotts and Katie. (mmf action at it's best)

.
.
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Edit: Oh Your Gods! I was reviewing the pics of that drunk chick and i just realized: in the second to last picture, one can clearly see the white Mr. T who I believe i had just been talking to previously. His photo can be seen here




.
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Edit: Upon further review, I think that's Sarah and some dude who ISN'T the white Mr. T in the background of that picture, but just looks like him from the chin down. I'm leaving the picture up there anyway.

yo mamma

HOW TO ARGUE EFFECTIVELY against CHESTOCRATES
by the great Sophist

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win any argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You can win arguments too. Simply follow these rules:

*Drink Liquor
Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

*Make Things Up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before mean gross poverty level." NOTE: Always make up exact figures.
If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."

*Use Meaningless By Weighty-Sounding Words and Phrases.
Memorize this list:
- Let me put it this way
- In terms of
- Vis-a-vis
- Per se
- As it were
- Qua
- So to speak

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you don't."
Here's how you use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money." You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, "Let me put it this way: In terms of appetizers, vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D." Only a fool would challenge a statement like that.

*Use Snappy and Irrelevant Comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. They best are:
- You're begging the question.
- You're bing defensive.
- Don't compare apples to oranges.
- What are your parameters?

This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means. Don't forget the classic: YOU'RE BEING LINEAR.
Here's how you use your combacks:

You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You're begging the question.

You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa
You say: You're being defensive.

*Compare Your Opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularyly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, "That sounds something suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler would say," or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

So that's it. You now know how to out-argue anybody. Don't try to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons.

wadi chu zay?

yesterday at work someone commented on a shotty effort by noting "it's not like we're building Fiats here."

i don't think anyone goes here anymore.

(i bit his ears off)

first day recap

Step zero: wake up at 6am, drive north for 40 miles, 8am arrive at work.

I can see clearly now that locating my primary forces in a more northerly position will be key to my world dominance. Or morning commute. I can't remember.

Step one: First things first: Safety meeting.

It is highly important to not put tongues, fingers and penises into certain machines. Turns out we get a free set of Redwing Steal Toe shoes each year. All large tow pinching objects as well as various deserving asses better watch out.

Step two: Team meeting.

In a group of 6, I'm not the only new guy. Also, it's strange to be around so many people who are generally interested in their work.

Step three: Group meeting

Turns out we got the new GM account, but those bastards over at the competition are still barking up our heels. Stay tight men!

Step four: I have a cube, phone and computer

Another laptop? I'm going to build a fort with my computers

Step five: We go out for a Team lunch.

Turns out my boss and coworkers are way into forced induction cars, AWD cars and cars that combine the best of those worlds. To give perspective, in an hour lunch car talk session, not once did muscle cars come up.

insert several steps here. In the end i didn't get out of the office until about 6pm. I could have left earlier but got caught up with my boss talking about electric RC cars (1/8th v 1/10th scale) , li-po battery packs and what brand of brushless motor is best.

Step alpha: Lay in bed and watch cartoonish but timeless space scenes of The Last Star Fighter.

Kodan Officer: She won't answer the helm! We're locked into the moon's gravitational pull. What do we do?
[sound of Lord Kril's eyepiece swinging over left eye]
Lord Kril: We die.

friggin sweet

i used to watch these two British chumps when i was a younger lad- kind of like a precursor to Myth Busters. Here's a great episode about combustion engines.

The rest can be found here.

oh your gods

1) how have i not seen this?

2) how do I get the girls in the previous link into a porn? (I'll see YOU in 2008)

time to update my AA skills

i was prepared to be enslaved by the chimps or ants, but not the super intelligent birds.

C'est la vie

consumption based recreation

As of late, there seems to be a bit of social thinking done along the lines of consumption-based recreation. The theory goes a little something like this: in faster-paced and more consumption oriented societies (such as ours) recreation becomes an extension of ones lifestyle. In this way, one would likely feel the need to "super size and Too Faster Too Furiouser" their free time. This is why your typical whoever can't have a good time unless they're going 70 mph on a jet boat circling their island cottage with their expensive sunglasses and their novelty light up jester hat, whilst every waking moment of their weekend needs to be spent not enjoying the smells of this or that but instead cramming as much activity as impossible.

This is where it gets interesting. As the middle class goes the way of the dodo and dual downdraft side carbs, the masses will no longer, overall, be able to afford the in your face, plastic trinket vacations and recreations of yore. This means an adjustment of sorts will be required for the reality (you can only afford to go sit on a beach and think about rocks) to catch up with the fantasy (jet truck melt down). The europeans, as you may or may not know, value free time and general chillaxin a little more than your typical yankee doodle and already, (again, overall) spend more time sitting on beaches than trying to amateur-pilot this or that. This could be because their economy down turned years ago, their values were never quite as consumption oriented, or even because their beaches are mostly topless/nude and their people mostly not obese slobs (sorry- i could be getting a bit preachy here).

But seriously folks... Nude wheel barrel races? Why would you do that? And who would take a picture? And why would someone publish that on the internet? And link to it?

(sometimes there are no answers)

It begins anew

it is 007 and not even worth commenting on the relentless march of time. One week to go before starting the new job. I'm in search of an apartment and as ridiculous as it may sound to some of you, i'm actually looking at places in the "nice part" of metro Detroit.

on a related note, apparently Detroit does not get snow anymore. This could be useful if i decide to pull the trigger on one of those 400hp/400tq '06 GTOs that my friendly local pontiac dealer let me test drive last week. It's an odd feeling knowing in that car that at any speed, in any gear and at any RPM, you can hit the gas and instantly feel like you're falling face-first off a building. In the end, it's mostly just a day dream though, since follow through would likely end up with me dead, in prison, broke, or some combination of the three.

I recommend buying this car to anyone. The 2002 always had terrific handling and in this instance, the original low output single-carb engine was replaced with an EFI, moderate-power version. As well, the "standard for the era" 4-speed was swapped for a 5-speed. No sir, no problem getting chicks to bang or gear-heads to drool with this black beauty. (my birthday is in August). Regardless, any used, running bimmer will fetch a couple grand simply because of their stupid levels of reliability. I'd figure this to grab 8 to 10k.

All this recent time off work has allowed be to reconnect with my training. I feel my power growing stronger everyday.

"I'm sorry you didn't get the Derelicte campaign, Hanzel"
"you can dere-lick my balls, el capitan"



Yeah, this year is gonna be pretty sweet. I can feel it.

("dude, are you being serious or sarcastic?"
"I don't even know anymore")

detroit xmas memoirs

Xmas has proved to be an infinite source of gossip-able goings on yet again.

Got me a torque wrench, box wrench set and tire iron, as well as some legos and a nerf sniper rifle. (watch your back nerf men who happen within 15-25 feet of my room)

Now to spend two weeks off work while laughing my way all the way to the bank.

In case you live in a box...

...and haven't seen this yet:



(watch out for dicks in that box)

This makes me laugh:

STATE SECRETS!!!
(why doesn't my celly work?)

should be studying

interesting take on life. (don't forget to hit "next" at the bottom of each page)

crazy bastard. Maybe someone here knows him.

look closely here and here from the latest shuttle mission. NASA is pro ipod.

Also, if you're this guy, you've probably got a lot of stories like this.

Gift Giving Ideas

There's an old saying that goes: You don't give a chef a cook book. (or then again, maybe i just made it up- hard to say exactly). Regardless, the theory is, if the gift recipient in question is a professional/hard core hobbiest at activity X, they likely have all the necessary required gear and are particularly picky when it comes to wares relating to said activity.

for example:
Nestorius: Don't bother buying him those aviator sun-glasses or spare propellers.
Chest: He'll choose his own implements of death based on a multi-point consideration of factors such as handiness, effectiveness, and self-urination-inducing-ness.
Munkey Stephens: Has plenty of antennas, military contracts and plush monkeys
Wildman: No need- He's married now and doesn't feel ways about things anyhow...

I think that's enough people for now and I've probably gotten myself into enough trouble anyhow. After making that list and reflecting on this group of misfits, I realized there's a glaring exception to this rule, which is professional drinkers would always appreciate more booze.

Consumers need to consume (it's an old saying, from way back, i suspect...)

Good luck with your missions.

Nerf Justice! (subtitle: i am your god now)

look here.

I asked for one of these months ago, when i first sauntered into a Toy's 'R Us one rare weekend with little do.

Trying to fill the hole in my soul, I bought each of my nieces and nephews one of these fuly auto, two clip, air powered death machines for Xmas. (...and there was a fire fight!)

Just picture three juveniles of justice stalking 'round the xmas tree the morning of the 25th. Their combined fire power will be equal to that of some smaller (less gun-friendly) nations. (assuming of course one nerf bullet were to equal one real bullet) The problem is i need something with which to defend myself; that's where the sniper rifle comes into play- It's time for their older, wiser uncle to teach them the worth of a single well placed nerf round. Of justice.

back to links

Also, Ann Coulter gets predictably served by a liberal media host.



I really want a Wii now, but refuse to wait or camp in any sort of line to get it.

Yesterday I informed my boss (in a much more civil manner than described here) that he can take my job and come the end of the working year, he can tuuuurn that sumbitch sideways, and he can shove it up his candy ass. (jabroni)



Today, he says to me: what if our company which we currently work for but you are contract while I am full time, were to offer you a full time position in our hybrid vehicle development program? Would you stay? (background: my boss has always known that my only reason for working where i work was the desperate hope that one day they'd convert me to a full time, i.e. non-contract employee and let me work on hybrid or electric cars. I've always made that known. But apparently when he told HIS boss about my departure, she was so gosh darned determined to keep me, she probably said "what does he want to stay?" And big boss man searched the depths of his cranial being and came to the conclusion that HEVs was for Mes. Bigger Boss Lady then decided she could make that happen and asked him to throw it back at me. Wow, that was a long "background") Anyway, I'm always shocked at the depths of planing and goings-on, like gears and mechanisms that are always churning just out of site. Anyway, it's all just idle talk right now, and as good an offer as it seems, it cant beat what i got lined up for the beginning of next year

Update

Doc says I'm suffering from allergies. The bad news, which no one came out and said but I inferred by reading between the lines of dialog is that you can't really treat allergies, just the symptoms. Incidently, what kind of young, attractive, female doctor wears knee-high black leather boots and a plaid skirt underneath her doctor's cloak, which ends somewhere well above her knees? At least well, you know, why waste it at the office...

On my way out I accepted a prescription but declined a super-dose shot to kick off the treatment, because I'm a big fat baby around needles. The doc then complained that i hadn't had a physical in something like a decade (apparently taking your shirt off and making the wind blow trough the tree-muscles doesn't pass as a physical anymore) and told me to come back. I'm going to consider it a second date.

It's not easy being green

Alas,

Here I am blogging at 9am. Turns out what was a small and uncoordinated invading force of head-cold insurgents, turned out to have a "flu-like" strike force of elite delta force solders when called in for back-up. The interesting twist (which there always is, otherwise why would you write about nothing?) is that i actually wanted to at work today so as to tender my resignation.

It's hard to feel guilty about things like "wasted energy and water" when the only place in the word you want to be is at the bottom of the tub while steaming, massaging water rains down from above, creating a steamy, jungle-esq, nasal-clearing utopia. That is until the water stops coming out warm. For some reason, it all very much reminded me of my 21st birthday.

But i digress.
Turns out if you weren't raised in south-eastern Michigan, you really have no reason to buy a Detroit car. I always knew this was basically true, but it was driven home again after talking to a friend who was looking for a new car. Turns out if your criteria for major life purchases include things like 1) resale value 2) safety 3) price and 4) fuel economy, then the big three have no place in your heart. In fact, said friend even had access to "employee discounts" (which, again, if you live here, you can get any of the major three at an "employee discount") and he still wasn't interested. In that case, who buys these cars? My theory is that the entire U.S. auto industry is supported for the most part by one major group: employees/family of the companies that make these cars

(i wish i could breath)

Munkey Stephens wuz here!

i can't feel feelings

I'm trying to type this as quickly as possible, as I've recently eaten some pills (allergy/sinus pills to be exact) and I can literally feel the detached head/slow-thought/drowsiness overtaking me. Damn my susceptibility to Benedryll.

But i digress. We saw the new Bond flick last night and i was impressed to see they managed to blend classic, Birtish, Bond-esq shenanigans with the old, leathery, tattered American background story of the hard-ass chief that won't let his (or her) men get the job done the way they seem fit. All that damn chief cares about is the mayor's breathing down his (or her) neck and the damn press always seems to have the perfect photo of police brutality. (God dammit Bond, get out of my office; you're off the case.) It might be late to announce this now, but I'm not going to worry about spoiling it for anyone, because i figure we see Bond movies for the shiny colors and not so much the plot twists.

Also i should mention, there's no nudity but there is at least one vague reference to mutual masturbation, not to mention a real torture scene- And I'm not just talking about some dude tying Bond up over a laser-powered toaster oven and watching while the bread ever so slowly darkens.

(I'm having a hard time typing... fingers... feel so sluggish.)

In all, I learned three things from this movie. 1) Always back your car into a parking spot because when the shit jumps off you don't want to have to be turning your ass around. 2) No matter how many push-ups and sit-ups they do, the British will always look goofy. And 3) Should you choose to patron a theater that sells beer, plan on leaving the flick at least twice to empty your bladder.

Speaking of beer, I've been spending my days at the Wayne State Library working on my 50 page term paper, and happen to run into one of my classmates. Since it was Saturday and i was in comfort mode, I was wearing an old tattered MTU shirt, which said classmate happen to comment on. The conversation went something like this:

a: So what was it like up there?
b: i like to think of it as a shared traumatic experience
a: it is true what the say about the girls?
b: you'd be surprised what you can accomplish without the distraction of women (cries a little inside)
a: so i guess if you're a real techy, you should be able to drink us all under the table, right? (motioning haphazardly to himself, his project-partner, the homeless guy next to them and about 8 foreign dudes)
b: let's rock this

As I looked out upon the corpses in the library that day, their hearts slowly beating their last beats as blood in their veins was displaced by alcohol, I realized something: People are going to look at me as half god, half alcoholic, half gay for the rest of my life, all based on my college of undergrad. And that's a lot of halfs.

Of course, on the other hand, you have different fingers. Neither of which can feel my face.

my sins

Grad school is the suxor. I'm sitting at the coffee shop absorbing free internets and working on whats quickly becoming a 10k word paper on the nature of absorbed hydrogen storage devices. Here's a little taste:

method of catalyst introduction has proven critical in hydrogen absorption and desorption rates. It is a universal practiced that all catalysts/hydride mixtures are combined under an atmosphere of argon to prevent poisoning from additives such as water to prevent oxidation of reactive materials. Initial catalytic doping performed by Bogdanovic, et al was carried out by recystallization of a solution suspended NaAlH₄ with soluble titanium compounds. This initial “wet doped” material, was hydrogen cycle-able at ~150 °C and much preferable to pure sodium aluminum hydride, seen in figure XXX below. However, by “dry doping” the alanate crystalline solid host by mechanically mixing a titanium catalyst proved to lower desorption activation temperature to ~120 °C [6]

I was so bore/desperate to avoid actual work, that I started reading my old blog entries from the 04's. I was pretty dissapointed to see that my work has devolved from this largely amusing and yet par for the day explosion of verbosity to what you've forced yourself to read for the last months; a hodgepodge of mediocre links and staccato ramblings, just barely on the happy side of "sentence fragment."

I shall do my best to amend this crime against the elite world of bloggers, never again forgetting the blogger's motto: When in doubt, show some celebrity cooter! (click for ginomous version)



(it should be noted that i am also acting as a responsible member of the internet community by hosting this picture my damn self after spending at LEAST 4 minutes searching it out, which we all know is life time in "teh internets" world. Damn bandwidth exceeders. Also, yay cooter.)

see title of blog

former struggler jon got me in to see this guy talk about his robot car.

What hath god wrought?

the inevitable

kramer.

so much to do

so little time.

Here's two stories that may
have slipped under your radar.

This is Bob. He was a decent man and
we're not gonna bury him in the fucking
garden

In the mean time, i have found a renewed
vigor for the cause. I feel surrounded by
opportunity. I feel like raising a few hundred
thousand to finance a (viable, non-hippie
ridden) off-grid community to pedal to well
to do greens that don't have the time or
energy to live in a mountain. (fucking home-
work is always getting in the way of life.)

"If we don't have a proactive energy policy, we'll just end up using coal, then shale, then tar sands, and it will be a continually diminishing return, and eventually our civilization will collapse. But it doesn't have to end that way. We have a choice."

part 2

Nobody would touch the "enjoy anal sex" pills, (which i happened to think was quite funny) so I'm going to try again:

More found here.

it would seem the older we get, the freer and more explicit the the sexual details become.



http://www.gapingvoid.com/

mtu =/ wsu

2) October 2006 Campus Crime Summary:

ROBBERY: Five incidents of robbery or attempted robbery were reported during October 2006. The first occurred on October 10th at 8:00pm when a female student reported she was walking out of Science Hall when an unknown subject came up behind her. The subject suddenly grabbed at the students backpack. While struggling for control over the backpack, the student grabbed her pepper spray and sprayed the subject in the face. The subject let go of the back pack and started screaming from the effects of the pepper spray. The student ran to Parking Structure #2 and called police. A search of the area failed to locate the subject. The student was not injured and no property was taken. The subject is described as a black male in his 20's, 5'8", medium build, short natural hair, no facial hair, wearing a black shirt with 'WSU' written across the front.

The second incident occurred on October 14th on Antony Wayne Drive at W. Kirby at 11:35pm when a 19 year old male student reported that he was
approached him on foot. The subject suddenly ripped the Complainants Cartier brand prescription glasses off his face and fled on foot. The Complainant was not injured. He described at the subject as a black male, 19 years of age, 5'6" 149 lbs, wearing a black skull cap, black jacket and dark pants.

The third incident occurred on October 15th at 1:10am when an 18 year old male student stated he was about the enter the South Residence Hall when the below subject approached him from one side. The unknown subject suddenly ripped the victims gold chain from his neck, breaking the chain. The subject attempted to run off with the chain and was chased by the Complainant. The running subject was spotted by responding WSUPD Officers who caught and arrested him. The gold chain, valued at $1,000, was recovered and Complainant, who was not injured, later refused to prosecute the perpetrator for the robbery.

The fourth incident occurred on October 16th at 1:05pm at Trumbull and the Edsel Ford Service Drive. In that case, a male WSU student stated he was driving his 2005 Dodge Durango and was involved in a 'fender bender' accident with a 1993 Saturn. When he pulled to the curb, two make subjects got out of the Saturn and up to the Durango. The student rolled his window down to talk with the two subjects when the started punching him through the open window. The second subject ran to the passenger side and dragged the student from his vehicle while taking the students wallet and cell phone. The first subject jumped into the student Durango and attempted to drive away.
Witnesses called WSUPD and responding Officers arrived while the incident was still in progress. Officers subsequently arrested the 15 and 18 year old male subjects and charged them with attempted carjacking. Two female companions were also arrested when the attempted to interfere with the arrest of the two male subjects. The male student was not seriously injured.

The fifth incident occurred on October 26th at 12:30pm when WSUPD Officers on patrol spotted what appeared to be an "in-progress" fight in front of 4855 Fourth, WSU Engineering Technology building. During their on-scene investigation, the Officers learned that the WSU staff member was confronted by an unknown subject whom he recognized him from previous thefts from inside the building. The victim, a WSU staff member, struggled with the subject who was trying to flee on a bicycle. During the struggle, the subject displayed a lock blade knife and threatened to cut the victim if he didn't let him escape. WSUPD Officers arrested the subject and found a lock back knife in his possession, along with a calculator the subject was just taken from the building. Because the subject used a knife in this incident, he was charged with Robbery Armed. WSUPD Investigators submitted a warrant package to the Wayne County Prosecutors Office and later obtained a two count felony warrant char!
ging Robbery Armed and Habitual Offender - 4th Offense. The subject, who remains in the Wayne County Jail, is identified as Julius Lane Wilson, age 48 of Churchill street, Detroit. He has no WSU affiliation.

A sixth near campus robbery occurred on October 31, 2006 at 8:00pm when a male student reported he was walking on the Lodge Service Drive, near Warren when approx. 10 black males, in their mid teens approached him. As they walked past the student, one of the subjects reached out and grabbed the students prescription glasses off his face. The group of ten teens then ran northbound on the freeway service drive. The student was not injured.

BURGLARY: Nine incidents of Burglary, Attempted Burglary, or Entry without Force were reported during October. The campus building involved were: DeRoy Apartments, A/AB Building, the Towers (2 incidents), Student Center Building (2 incidents), South Residence Hall (2 incidents) and the University Psychiatric Center at 2761 E. Jefferson.

LARCENY: A total of forty-three (43) incidents of larceny (theft of unattended property) were reported during October 2006...almost twice as many as reported during August and September. Items left unattended (and later discovered missing) by their owners include wallets, cell phones, purses, text books and even laptop computers.

VEHICLE THEFT: Two vehicles were reported stolen from WSU parking facilities during October. On October 21st, a 2001 Chrysler Town and County mini van was reported stolen from WSU Lot UT at 4510 Cass. On October 26th, a 2000 Dodge Caravan mini van was discovered missing from 555 E. Canfield across from Scott Hall/Medical school.

Near campus vehicle thefts, from area streets, sky rocketed during October 2006 with twenty vehicles reported to WSUPD during October. This is almost twice the number of incidents as reported in "normal" previous months. These incident include:

I will now blow up your mind with content

you better god damned watch this first movie

for your next party

(more examples after the jump)

Short Answer: I got the job

Long answer: you have to read on as I wax philosophic on the turns of life. I can't help but think back to a drunken and oddly crystal clear conversation with MTU "The corpsier the Better" Kelly. We were discussing seemingly deep and extremely college-esq topics like the future and careers and I clearly remember proclaiming that I would forever be okay because I seem to blindly stumble ass-backward into a good situation every few years. Let's recap:

Today I was offered a job at a young, exciting, forward-thinking company doing work that both interests me and betters the world. And just for sowing up they wanna pay the shit out of me. To get it, I didn't really do anything overly exerting other than show up.

Deep into 2003 I had graduated college and had a shit job. Or no job. I filled my days by knowing on every night of the week which local bar sold beers for a dollar. Then I met a hot blond with short shorts.

In 2000 I was looking for a way to score some ends at college and decided to answer an ad for a photographer at the school paper. Other than having sex with playmates for money, It turned out to be the best possible job to ever have while attending college. (Caveat: I couldn't find anyone to pose for my attempt at making an entry in the playboy college photographer competition)

Knowing only that High school was totally lame and i didn't want to "sell out" to the University of Michigan (sorry Stos) I decided I'd move to the U.P. for 4.5 years for no good reason at all. Best no-good-reason-at-all-decision, ever.

Back to toady: I should point out that Eye of the Tiger was on the radio when i got into the car to drive to the interview for this job. Here's to stumbling ass backward into life. The High life.

And now back to your regularly scheduled elitist commentary on the state of the world:

could be a big deal

god dammit.

Today is UAW observed Veteran's Day, which seems to oddly coincide with opening day of hunting season. (translation = day off)

In wholly unrelated news, I'm waiting to hear the results of a job interview which could i think leave me very fulfilled and simultaneously "well to do." Now is the time to reflect on questions which could have been answered better.

do some

the lie within

It seems i may have been living lie for the last 26 years. A few weeks back when I was chatting with a salesman about firearms, upon hearing I rifled left-handed but live my life as a righty, he suggested i take the left hand/right hand test. It goes like this: make a diamond with your hands outstretched arm's length. Imagine you were about to perform a diamond-cutter a la Diamond Dallas Page. (if there's anyone around I would highly recommend concluding this test with an actual diamond cutter as the people around you would find this highly unexpected) Now line something up in the distance in that diamond area, such as a clock on the wall or picture and center it between your hands using both eyes open, as you would naturally. Next close one eye, and then the other, and with only one eye will the item still be visible. Which ever eye you can see it with is the dominant side of your brain, typically indicating your left handedness or right handedness. As you can guess by now, i could only see it with my left eye. Taken alone, the test doesn't mean a whole lot, but then consider guns, baseball bats and hockey sticks all seem to work better for me in a left and configuration. I started thinking about this again today and did a little internet search. this page has an interesting test for lefts/rights of which i seem to be predominantly left-brained. If i had more free time i would certainly try to convert my writing hand.

nothing has changed

Veteran's day.


not all is as it seems.

Ganked!

(found here.)

Thank you Chestocrates

"For men to plunge headlong into an undertaking of vast change, they must be intensely discontented yet not destitute, and they must have the feeling that by the possession of some potent doctrine, infallible leader or some new technique they have access to a source of irresistible power. They must also have an extravagant conception of the prospects and potentialities of the future. Finally, they must be wholly ignorant of the difficulties involved in their vast undertaking. Experience is a handicap."

-The True Believer

(a lot of things are like that... already, just on the unhappy side of the middle twenties, there are tasks and undertakings that though I managed once, I should never try again because of the unforeseen difficulties involved.) (I also think it's safe to assume most of these "undertakings" in life involve cars, women or sculpting of social-political landscape)

heads up:

We've entered that 1/12th of the year when it's okay to listen to the full length version of November Rain AND pretend we're Slash playing a solo outside the wedding chapel. Likewise, during this one month of the year, it's not frowned upon to be just a little weepy when you think of either a) the state of Axel Roses's career or b) that bitch from middle-school who never return your highly suggestive, yet appropriately playful notes in english class.

That bitch.

{look's away}

damn dust in my eye...