Sunday, July 29, 2007

I remember the girls from MTU



I think knowing me really changed those girl's lives... (Is it weird to recognize that the hottest chick has the best equations?)

DAMN EMBEDDED PICTURE WON'T ALWAYS SHOW UP. SEE IT HERE.

It won't be long now before Notorious, Stos, the mystery person and I storm the beaches a Greece. I don't really know what to say about this because I don't really know what the trip will entail, though with Notorious there, we're almost guaranteed to find ourselves in an alcohol-fueled Fight-or-Flight scenario with some A-holes from a UN-friendly country.


I think Mr. T should have used the phrase "drag you down Ass Kick Ave." In this Snickers commercial but whatev, it's still cool.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

why does the internet distract so?

If this video doesn't seriously disturb you, then you are one of them



The internet tells me I'm
superficial
. (source: Scotter) Fuck you the internet. Entertain me! I command it:



(you don't finish!)

Sunday, July 22, 2007

the goings on

I've been reading this magazine online called Nerve. What originally caught my internet-groping eyes was a semi-regularly published feature called I DID IT FOR SCIENCE, which as most of you know if my justification for all the illegal, immoral and irrelevant things I've done in my life, not to mention some of the legitimate stuff. It certainly won't be for all of you but articles about (allegedly) normal people trying things like female ejaculation and a Devil's Threesome are what I call good reading.

There's also a pretty intriguing selection of personal essays that goes back a good 10 years.

Found at Nerve.com

Speaking of science, I figured on a boring Friday night there was only one place to go if i wanted to see some totally slay-able book nerds: The Harry P. book drop party. Homeboy Goddard was in the market for a book and I was in the market to nerd watch. We both left disappointed.


the scene. We estimated 2000 cars in the lot.


Our hero (not me) waits in line next to middle school brigade.


This ticket turned out to be worth jack


I was disappointed no one peed when these appeared.

In completely unrelated news, imagine a weapon you could drop over a field of say, 50 or so hard mobile military targets, like a cluster of tanks and armored personal carriers. Now imagine this one 1000 pound bomb could seek out and kill all of those tanks and what-nots at the same time in one flurry of explosion-ness... Turns out we had it all along and even used it a couple time against the browner peoples. (that thing is scary)



("i'm trying to go blacker")

Thursday, July 19, 2007

monkey



found at my new favorite site.

(this is boss


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Ultra

Stos rides again

(sounds like a lot of work to me...)

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Thursday, July 12, 2007

dang

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Axe Man

Axe Man came yesterday to take the heads of 10% (25) of my co-workers. All employee meeting was called for 2pm and by 3pm I was watching folks do the unemployment shuffle out the front door.

I don't fear the Axe Man because I have a air-tight plan to take the severance pay (rumor was two weeks, which might as well be zero weeks) and invest it in the lucrative lottery ticket market. They say the Axe Man will be back today to finish his work.

I'll see you in hell Axe Man.



Thursday, June 28, 2007

"there was blood everywhere"

Quick! Name three guys you wouldn't want to get punched by!

...

How about an Ex-marine, a boxer and an iron worker? (their hands are like steal dipped in hate)

Okay, now roll them into one guy and see wat happens when you try to take his money


perhaps Big Foot just needs some hugs.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Rich Fucking Fuckers and the Shit they Fuck

Subtitle: life as a disappointment

At some point, likely during the college/post high school years, we all learn that most of those really sweet ideas that like, no one has ever though of before and/or had the moxy to carry out, are in the end, actually very bad ideas. These typically fall into a "do-it yourself," "huge money/time saver" or perhaps "engineering and building of unique and creative... thing" ideas. Examples might include buying something large like a car and splitting it down the middle with another person, buying a cheap, broke down fiat in the hopes of restoring it to awesomeness, maybe driving an absurd distance for a party that's gonna have "a million chicks" or perhaps living in a house with 200 roommates. The point is, after enough let downs, you just start to expect a certain percentage of failure and thus embark on less of these undertakings

I know this is true because I've seen the transition in myself and others, and yes its sad.

The point is, when did everything else turn into such a let down? When did having an apartment close to work turn into outrageous bills and friends were too far away to visit? And when did having a cool car become a slew of mechanical issues, parking lot accidents and police officers tapping on your window? And why the fuck is it so hard to ride my bike to work?

Society's refusal to allow bike riding is the last straw. It requires I pack a change of clothes because the man wants me to dress like a monkey. In fact, the "Green" company i work for doesn't even have a bike rack, nor will it let me leave the bike in the cubical. Of course there's few to no sidewalks out here in Xurbia where the rich people live. And when there are, mindless fucks in luxury SUVs keep trying to run me over because they have no clue what a pedestrian is or how right-of-way works. Then there's the un-accountables... like the old guy that yelled at me as he drove by and while I waiting for the light to change. I couldn't hear exactly what he was saying but i sensed a perception of distaste for bikers. And the fucks that when driving down the road, enjoying their new ICP album, have the presence of mind when they see a commuter to immediately honk there horn and yell something out the window. Do you realize what it takes to react that fast?

I'm serious: people here are pissed when they see someone on a bike

here's somethign to think about

Friday, June 22, 2007

Too Close Onion. Too Close.

Is it ironic that the Superman ride took the legs of a child... considering that the super man himself was chair-bound?

watch yourself out there boys and girls.




Too close Onion. Too close.



this guy made his car to run on vegetable-jiz. The government rewarded his efforts by fining the shit of him. I cried a little.

It could be worse- You could have amnesia so bad that you can't remember more than a few seconds. Later, you'll try to keep a journal to track your life, but it will simply become a long list of the same sentences:

"I have awakened for the first time"
"this is the true awakening"
"I have awakened for the first time"

Apparently this can last for twenty years.

(don't taser gas-covered men)

Sorry- i didn't mean to make this so bleak...

Monday, June 18, 2007

I'm in your noun verbing your noun

First a reflection:



(i love that he edited out the part where Adrian shows up- in order to get back to the monster 8 minute sports-training-montage.)

Today I made time to stop by the Lifetime Fitness Center that is literally 200 yards from the back door of my apartment. See, i do most of my training in the street, running and biking and knifing, but i feel like my upper body is getting flabby and i miss the sensation of lifting heavy things. (insert mom-joke here). While i was looking for a place that would have a weight set and a pull-up bar, turns out Lifetime is packaged as a "lifestyle." The big box mart of gyms, if you will. This is what the parking lot looked like after work:



I approached the desk and naively sought for some membership rates. They presented a page long waiver assuming I would release things like my address, phone number, email address, license number, work number... the best/worst part was the confusion on their high school faces when I asked why they would need this information: It was so obvious- why couldn't I understand?

"Because that's what they ask for."

"What a fool i was."

Mel, in her airy, spring dress gave me a tour of the facility. (Seems "i just want some rates, I'm kind of in a hurry" fell on death ears) I swear to the imac they had 100 treadmills if they had 1. It was hard to explain to Mel that my last gym membership was at a community rec center and i spend most of my time on the street. I'm used to paying $70/year and her proposed $200 membership fee would have been unreasonable even without the $60 monthly fee i was still looking at. Sure the classes are free and yes the locker rooms are supplied with soap, shampoo and towels and of course there were more hot chicks than a Sophist-takes-his-pants-off-convention, but dammit... you all saw that video above and i saw a motherfucker on a stationary bike with a laptop hooked up to him and that shit is just not right.

This was my bounty:



Sure I could survive there, block out the bullshit and go out of my way to lift things that obviously weren't weights like bulimic blonds, benches and the expresso machine in the attached cafe. But i'd still be paying a thousand fucking dollars a year for a gym membership. And then I'd have to kick my own ass.

(maybe next year I'LL have a solstice parade)

Saturday, June 16, 2007

i see red

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

linky-dinky

i have not the energy to comment on these, so I'll break it down quick:

this seems unfair when you measure it against this guy's scant 45 years.

I bet this guy never thought they'd come back. But they did. (and won)

these guys will save us. Or kill us. Either way it will be wireless.

(read these but start from the beginning)

"are ninjas supposed to have super strength?"
"He's also a doctor!"

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

started out so strong

to understand what the deuce I'm talking about, you should first read (or skim-through-like-in-college) this article about hydrogen. I've actually passed by this story once under some conspiracy title like "DOE stonewalls new hydrogen production process" or something of the like, but then Jon dropped it on me again and I took a more serious look. After so many of these articles I've become a big fat cynic which makes me look for the obvious faults. I spare the details but it's actually a pretty sound idea with just a few question marks. Turns out gallium is quite expensive even for the low quality stuff they call out in the article. And even though aluminum oxide makes a fine aluminum... the energy required...

ah, whatever. I'm too tired for this all this.

Don't be selfish

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Go Team Venture

Even though it hurts me to fill the gas tank these days, it makes me happy to know those fools driving monster trucks to work every day are feeling equal pain. And on top of it are angry and confused by the whole situation like a monkey with a banana glued to the back of his head. Yes, I enjoy their confused anger.





Other than that, we have proved once again that Chestocrates and I (as well as previously proven Notorious and I) could never live in the same city, for we would find ourselves dead. Then we watched 28 Weeks Later... and i was disturbed.

I hope we get past this.

Also, this is crazy. Not "i never thought of that before" crazy. But crazy.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

(did i really just see that?)

the bubble of absurdity continues to expand outward in every direction.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007

blue punches red. red too angry to care.

this is a balls move (even though I'm not even sure what "balls move" means.) Either way, the best place for a hybrid is in stop & go, idle-tastic traffic. this dude would agree.

Sadly, I'm torn, since his state has been mandating cars which no matter how you describe them, cannot be termed with "balls moves." I loves me some GTO.

Monday, May 21, 2007

it's all i know

spring weather is all i can think to blame on my unusual number of post dealing with, well, the ladies.

The fiat is pretty dirty.

(and so am i)