the bubble of absurdity continues to expand outward in every direction.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
blue punches red. red too angry to care.
this is a balls move (even though I'm not even sure what "balls move" means.) Either way, the best place for a hybrid is in stop & go, idle-tastic traffic. this dude would agree.
Sadly, I'm torn, since his state has been mandating cars which no matter how you describe them, cannot be termed with "balls moves." I loves me some GTO.
Sadly, I'm torn, since his state has been mandating cars which no matter how you describe them, cannot be termed with "balls moves." I loves me some GTO.
Monday, May 21, 2007
it's all i know
spring weather is all i can think to blame on my unusual number of post dealing with, well, the ladies.
The fiat is pretty dirty.
(and so am i)
The fiat is pretty dirty.
(and so am i)
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
In case you were wondering
Toyota is NOT fucking around when it comes to hybrids. (so much for the passing fad-theory. should prove well for my sense of accomplishment and sense of wallet)
Likewise, I'd even more prefer to work on something like this highly unlikely and fully toted Fuel cell car. I'll pee a little if it actually drops in '08.
Likewise, I'd even more prefer to work on something like this highly unlikely and fully toted Fuel cell car. I'll pee a little if it actually drops in '08.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Action Packed
This is a hot song. I will find it one way or the other.
My trip to the south last week was interesting- Proof again that the human body has an amazing ability to function with out sleep. Moments after turning it on, my uber-expensive camera stopped functioning. This likely had something to do with the oil wrestling party i attended the weekend previous, though I can't be sure (insert vague references to topless wrestlers, broken noses, simulated acts of lesbian affection an good old fashioned BBQ) Life can't be all work.
So i had to fall back on the old camera phone. (The old camera phone stopped functioning as a phone several days later... I blame Key West)
Since it was the company's dime, I stayed in a lot of hotels that looked like this:
Miami seemed to be under massive construction. I swear there dozens of building going up simultaneously.
Most of Key West looked liked this: We spent the day driving the hybrid in circles.
Four rednecks that didn't speak queen's english tried to start a rumble with me and my co-worker by throwing french fried at us in this joint that sold the same things White Castle sells, but with different packaging.
We didn't pummel the local-yocals because we were there to support the Germans. I can't fully explain how much I learned that week, but it was pretty incredible to spend so many hours in a car learning about Germania. At one point, our SUV had 4 engineers, (1 driver, 3 computer jockeys) and I imagined a horrible roll-over accident that would render us all dead. Headlines: 4 nerds dead
One German was disappointed that the fans at a Tigers game weren't nearly as rowdy as his typical hometown soccer crowd. After much discussion, we decided the reason things are so lame in the U.S. is because away fans have to travel so far to support their local regional sports team, that any event will be dominated by the home team's fans. In Germania it's always a ~50/50 mix meaning you're not so much cheering for your team, as you are cheering AGAINST those bastards on the other side. This dialog makes sense in my mind.
We also spent a few nights at the bar with the Germans where i managed to pick up a few sayings. For one, as the saying goes, "while toasting, always your the person you're toasting in the eye or it's seven years bad sex." Seems logical. Another one that came out at the end of the night didn't translate as smoothly... apparently, "just one more beer is like zero more beers." Also, it would seem that free health care leads to a lot of loafers that refuse to get a job. (did i mention that moments after realizing we were 4-geeks in million dollar proto-type car that had more instrumentation than you can shake a stick at, the hood of the broke-ass honda in front of us flew up and snapped off, sailing 40 feet in the air and landing just meters from our faces? that was crazy) Oh, and i also heard a terribly lame penis joke that was only funny because it required the use of metric units. I'll only tell it in person and when drunk.
Finally, it might have something to do with the company these guys worked for, but they all considered Ferrari's to be really expensive Fiats. I took it as a massive compliment.
I apologize for the lack of wit and formatting. I had a lot of material i wanted to get down (more for myself than fr you slackers) as well as plenty of other self-expression literary works I'm trying to form in my mind... and too much material rolling around up there will make me fall down stairs.
What is all movie posters were made in the style of GrindHouse?
Finally, I'm sad to say I'm been damn too busy to send out a DVD full of BSG. My apologies.
My trip to the south last week was interesting- Proof again that the human body has an amazing ability to function with out sleep. Moments after turning it on, my uber-expensive camera stopped functioning. This likely had something to do with the oil wrestling party i attended the weekend previous, though I can't be sure (insert vague references to topless wrestlers, broken noses, simulated acts of lesbian affection an good old fashioned BBQ) Life can't be all work.
So i had to fall back on the old camera phone. (The old camera phone stopped functioning as a phone several days later... I blame Key West)
Since it was the company's dime, I stayed in a lot of hotels that looked like this:
Miami seemed to be under massive construction. I swear there dozens of building going up simultaneously.
Most of Key West looked liked this: We spent the day driving the hybrid in circles.
Four rednecks that didn't speak queen's english tried to start a rumble with me and my co-worker by throwing french fried at us in this joint that sold the same things White Castle sells, but with different packaging.
We didn't pummel the local-yocals because we were there to support the Germans. I can't fully explain how much I learned that week, but it was pretty incredible to spend so many hours in a car learning about Germania. At one point, our SUV had 4 engineers, (1 driver, 3 computer jockeys) and I imagined a horrible roll-over accident that would render us all dead. Headlines: 4 nerds dead
One German was disappointed that the fans at a Tigers game weren't nearly as rowdy as his typical hometown soccer crowd. After much discussion, we decided the reason things are so lame in the U.S. is because away fans have to travel so far to support their local regional sports team, that any event will be dominated by the home team's fans. In Germania it's always a ~50/50 mix meaning you're not so much cheering for your team, as you are cheering AGAINST those bastards on the other side. This dialog makes sense in my mind.
We also spent a few nights at the bar with the Germans where i managed to pick up a few sayings. For one, as the saying goes, "while toasting, always your the person you're toasting in the eye or it's seven years bad sex." Seems logical. Another one that came out at the end of the night didn't translate as smoothly... apparently, "just one more beer is like zero more beers." Also, it would seem that free health care leads to a lot of loafers that refuse to get a job. (did i mention that moments after realizing we were 4-geeks in million dollar proto-type car that had more instrumentation than you can shake a stick at, the hood of the broke-ass honda in front of us flew up and snapped off, sailing 40 feet in the air and landing just meters from our faces? that was crazy) Oh, and i also heard a terribly lame penis joke that was only funny because it required the use of metric units. I'll only tell it in person and when drunk.
Finally, it might have something to do with the company these guys worked for, but they all considered Ferrari's to be really expensive Fiats. I took it as a massive compliment.
I apologize for the lack of wit and formatting. I had a lot of material i wanted to get down (more for myself than fr you slackers) as well as plenty of other self-expression literary works I'm trying to form in my mind... and too much material rolling around up there will make me fall down stairs.
What is all movie posters were made in the style of GrindHouse?
Finally, I'm sad to say I'm been damn too busy to send out a DVD full of BSG. My apologies.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
on running
I was disappointed that i didn't get a chance to jog around Key West. The problem of course was, even had I more time and were not exhausted from lack of sleep, I neglected to pack sneakers. (you win again, brain) I don't understand why I run. I do not compete and never did, yet forever there is that burn to go farther and faster. I tried to run yesterday, but after my week long road trip- essentially a full-week diet of refined sugars and empty carbohydrates known as fast food, my body revolted and put down the idea. Last week it was different. Last week it looked something like this:
Mile zero:
My best runs often start out the most painful. Joints and muscles are sore and tight, likely from some combination of last night's drinking and the week's various other work-outs. If I'm feeling overly spry I'll push too hard early and it will turn into a shorter, speed building workout. I'm going to need some mindless power music like AC/DC's "Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution" or Jay Z, "Justify My Thug."
Mile two:
{cough}{cough}{phlem}{spit} This is where i start to shake of the stiffness and find a rhythm; Breathing has slowed. For me distance runs are spun by stacking together as many 10-minute miles as possible, while speed runs are typically half the distance and should combine to approximately 8-minute miles averaged between periods of sprinting and trotting. I have to keep in mind that "Rochester Hills" is NOT just a clever name and 5 - 10% grades are as common as self-conscious teenagers cruising town in Daddy's Escalade and there are almost no truly flat spots. Lora Branigan's "Self Control" with White Rose Movement's "Love is a Number" on deck
Mile Four:
Side step the pavement for the rutty, lumpy, root-filled grass. Ankles that don't roll or sprain will become stronger. I find myself in a series of peaks and valleys, hitting the wall and finding a wind. I feel strong now and want to run faster but need to smooth out the sinusoidal: slower now, faster later. A feeling of invincibility needs a soundtrack: Animotion, "Obsession," Pantera "I'm Broken."
Mile six
I'm not overly familiar with the area I'm running through but the first path turned out to be about 5.5 miles, onto which I built in small increments. I don't know it yet, but the deviation in path I've taken today will put me back at my apartment in about 8.9 miles, which will be a new high this season. {nod to the hot chick on roller blades, direct her back to the early 90's} It turns out that the most painful run is not the one that eclipses all previous, but instead the one where you try to match for the first time, that personal best which has already been achieved. I'm not sure why, but it seems to make sense. This is like the calm before the storm. Covenant, "Like Tears in the Rain."
Mile eight
Here comes the pain. I may be reduced to a trot by the time i get to the top of the hill by the nature reserve. Walking is like surrendering, which means I'll try to slow-trot three miles before being reduced to walking 3 steps. (this does not always work). Over the course I'll have descended a sum of ~1000feet which will have to be ascended again. There may be a lot of grunting involved. Occasionally I'll lift my head to find I'm precariously close to a deer or raccoon or something of the sort. I'll need a psychological boost from the likes of Alan Silvestri's "Delta Force Theme," Joe Eposito's "You're the Best" (Karate Kid S.T.) and
Home stretch
I would be able to see my back door from here, were it not obscured by two big ass hills. {Off with the shirt: 4 parts aid in evaporation/1 part show off the goods} Every time I'll try to sprint this distance but almost always fade away on the second climb. If I've eaten well that week and I've kept up on the training and I took my vitamins and I said my prayers I can dig in and get it done: to the top of the hill, under the trees, over the lawn and across the apartment parking lot to my back door. "Training Montage" Song from the Rocky IV soundtack.
K'S Choice: Not an Addict
Pull of the i-pod and walk in circles to cool down. The silence of the world combined with the ringing in my ears (likely caused by the sudden jump in blood pressure) is deafening. I must eat and then rest, for there is much to be done if I'm to achieve 10 miles next week... though I'm not exactly sure why.
Mile zero:
My best runs often start out the most painful. Joints and muscles are sore and tight, likely from some combination of last night's drinking and the week's various other work-outs. If I'm feeling overly spry I'll push too hard early and it will turn into a shorter, speed building workout. I'm going to need some mindless power music like AC/DC's "Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution" or Jay Z, "Justify My Thug."
Mile two:
{cough}{cough}{phlem}{spit} This is where i start to shake of the stiffness and find a rhythm; Breathing has slowed. For me distance runs are spun by stacking together as many 10-minute miles as possible, while speed runs are typically half the distance and should combine to approximately 8-minute miles averaged between periods of sprinting and trotting. I have to keep in mind that "Rochester Hills" is NOT just a clever name and 5 - 10% grades are as common as self-conscious teenagers cruising town in Daddy's Escalade and there are almost no truly flat spots. Lora Branigan's "Self Control" with White Rose Movement's "Love is a Number" on deck
Mile Four:
Side step the pavement for the rutty, lumpy, root-filled grass. Ankles that don't roll or sprain will become stronger. I find myself in a series of peaks and valleys, hitting the wall and finding a wind. I feel strong now and want to run faster but need to smooth out the sinusoidal: slower now, faster later. A feeling of invincibility needs a soundtrack: Animotion, "Obsession," Pantera "I'm Broken."
Mile six
I'm not overly familiar with the area I'm running through but the first path turned out to be about 5.5 miles, onto which I built in small increments. I don't know it yet, but the deviation in path I've taken today will put me back at my apartment in about 8.9 miles, which will be a new high this season. {nod to the hot chick on roller blades, direct her back to the early 90's} It turns out that the most painful run is not the one that eclipses all previous, but instead the one where you try to match for the first time, that personal best which has already been achieved. I'm not sure why, but it seems to make sense. This is like the calm before the storm. Covenant, "Like Tears in the Rain."
Mile eight
Here comes the pain. I may be reduced to a trot by the time i get to the top of the hill by the nature reserve. Walking is like surrendering, which means I'll try to slow-trot three miles before being reduced to walking 3 steps. (this does not always work). Over the course I'll have descended a sum of ~1000feet which will have to be ascended again. There may be a lot of grunting involved. Occasionally I'll lift my head to find I'm precariously close to a deer or raccoon or something of the sort. I'll need a psychological boost from the likes of Alan Silvestri's "Delta Force Theme," Joe Eposito's "You're the Best" (Karate Kid S.T.) and
Home stretch
I would be able to see my back door from here, were it not obscured by two big ass hills. {Off with the shirt: 4 parts aid in evaporation/1 part show off the goods} Every time I'll try to sprint this distance but almost always fade away on the second climb. If I've eaten well that week and I've kept up on the training and I took my vitamins and I said my prayers I can dig in and get it done: to the top of the hill, under the trees, over the lawn and across the apartment parking lot to my back door. "Training Montage" Song from the Rocky IV soundtack.
K'S Choice: Not an Addict
Pull of the i-pod and walk in circles to cool down. The silence of the world combined with the ringing in my ears (likely caused by the sudden jump in blood pressure) is deafening. I must eat and then rest, for there is much to be done if I'm to achieve 10 miles next week... though I'm not exactly sure why.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I will bite your torso
This is good I thought. But a lot of people are still pissed. And their's some mercury involved. (Hurray for the gray area of life) Perhaps the others think politician's time could be better spent.
Cash-Money, though?
In unrelated news, though the movie itself wasn't all that, I HIGHLY recommend the soundtrack to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie.
Artist: Mastodon Lyrics
Song: Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife Lyrics
Genre: Death Metal
Don't talk, watch!
Don't talk, watch!
You came here. Watch it.
Don't like it? Walk out.
We still have all your ****ing money.
Do not nudge, kick or jiggle the seat in front of you.
I'm sitting there!
I am everywhere at once
and I will cut you up.
If you make out here,
I will cut your lips and tongue
from your head
with a linoleum knife.
Do not explain the plot.
If you don't understand, then you should not be here.
Your money is our money
and we will spend it on drugs.
Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly.
Be considerate to others,
or I will bite your torso
and give you a disease.
Did you bring your baby?
Babies don't watch this.
Take the seed outside. Leave it in the streets.
Run over it after the show.
If I see you videotaping this movie,
Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid
and dissolve your testicles
and turn your guts into snakes.
This is copyrighted movie for Time Warner.
If I find that you've sold it on eBay,
I will break into your house
and tear your wife in half.
Cash-Money, though?
In unrelated news, though the movie itself wasn't all that, I HIGHLY recommend the soundtrack to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie.
Artist: Mastodon Lyrics
Song: Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife Lyrics
Genre: Death Metal
Don't talk, watch!
Don't talk, watch!
You came here. Watch it.
Don't like it? Walk out.
We still have all your ****ing money.
Do not nudge, kick or jiggle the seat in front of you.
I'm sitting there!
I am everywhere at once
and I will cut you up.
If you make out here,
I will cut your lips and tongue
from your head
with a linoleum knife.
Do not explain the plot.
If you don't understand, then you should not be here.
Your money is our money
and we will spend it on drugs.
Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly.
Be considerate to others,
or I will bite your torso
and give you a disease.
Did you bring your baby?
Babies don't watch this.
Take the seed outside. Leave it in the streets.
Run over it after the show.
If I see you videotaping this movie,
Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid
and dissolve your testicles
and turn your guts into snakes.
This is copyrighted movie for Time Warner.
If I find that you've sold it on eBay,
I will break into your house
and tear your wife in half.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
At least it's warm now
Apparently, not since we had to bail their sorry asses out of Double-you Double-you Two, have we as a people been more disappointed with the performance of the British Armed Forces.
Also, it's become obvious that since it's unethical to test execution drugs (you know... with science) they're not exactly working (you know... all the time)
Left hand: allow me to introduce you to Right hand.
Now who wants to be my friend?
Also, it's become obvious that since it's unethical to test execution drugs (you know... with science) they're not exactly working (you know... all the time)
Left hand: allow me to introduce you to Right hand.
Now who wants to be my friend?
Sunday, April 22, 2007
I find that duck's opinions of me is very much based on whether or not i have bread
I have added the Cespool to my link bar. It features articles such as "Physcological Color Profile" and "Everybody loves a Whore."
Enjoy
Enjoy
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
beating the drum
It seems in Virginia there was a whole classroom of students that laid down and waited patiently while some dude walked up and down the desk-rows executing mutherfuckers. It says so here. This makes me feel ways about things.
In un-related news, (thanks to Jon's willingness to show me the way), I've been preaching the power and unstoppable coolness of Google's free online utilities. Google pedometer may have actually been developed by someone else, but it builds off the ultra-awesome Google maps. I love it. (Works for bike routes also. Of course, these aren't my real routes because then you could memorize and predict my patterns, thus making a clean and inexplicable assassination easier.)
by discovering and sharing this particular Google technology, i am convinced Lois Lane is not simply trying to steal my medication. Good for her.
In un-related news, (thanks to Jon's willingness to show me the way), I've been preaching the power and unstoppable coolness of Google's free online utilities. Google pedometer may have actually been developed by someone else, but it builds off the ultra-awesome Google maps. I love it. (Works for bike routes also. Of course, these aren't my real routes because then you could memorize and predict my patterns, thus making a clean and inexplicable assassination easier.)
by discovering and sharing this particular Google technology, i am convinced Lois Lane is not simply trying to steal my medication. Good for her.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Can i have 4 beers?
Seuth-sayers have been predicting peak oil dates since the 50's, so here we are again.
Think of it this way: Everything will be fine so long as such scientists are wrong every time.
{insert working class hero by john lennon}
Will Ferrell - The Landlord - Funny As Hell - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
Think of it this way: Everything will be fine so long as such scientists are wrong every time.
{insert working class hero by john lennon}
Will Ferrell - The Landlord - Funny As Hell - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
as i watch Adult Swim
I think there's a new tattoo in my future this summer.
The internet is full of ideas. I'm trying to decide between tipping my hand or revealing the inner me
Also, the Fiat is back on the road, logging over 30 trouble-free (though "witch's-titty-cold") miles today.
Finally, I think there might be a connection between this story about mate selection and this one about diseases that make your naughty bits fall off.
(look who's back)
The internet is full of ideas. I'm trying to decide between tipping my hand or revealing the inner me
Also, the Fiat is back on the road, logging over 30 trouble-free (though "witch's-titty-cold") miles today.
Finally, I think there might be a connection between this story about mate selection and this one about diseases that make your naughty bits fall off.
(look who's back)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
"Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt"
Greatest novelist: DOA
(i haven't felt like this since Douglas Adams died a week after shaking my hand)
Great auto-man knows the score.
(Detroit is on the brink of imploding... Surviving the riotous 60's and gang-ridden 80's. Much like our a for mentioned author friend mused, suicide might have been better than rotting away in our own decay.)
CHEERS!
(i haven't felt like this since Douglas Adams died a week after shaking my hand)
Great auto-man knows the score.
(Detroit is on the brink of imploding... Surviving the riotous 60's and gang-ridden 80's. Much like our a for mentioned author friend mused, suicide might have been better than rotting away in our own decay.)
CHEERS!
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