(i love that he edited out the part where Adrian shows up- in order to get back to the monster 8 minute sports-training-montage.)
Today I made time to stop by the Lifetime Fitness Center that is literally 200 yards from the back door of my apartment. See, i do most of my training in the street, running and biking and knifing, but i feel like my upper body is getting flabby and i miss the sensation of lifting heavy things. (insert mom-joke here). While i was looking for a place that would have a weight set and a pull-up bar, turns out Lifetime is packaged as a "lifestyle." The big box mart of gyms, if you will. This is what the parking lot looked like after work:
I approached the desk and naively sought for some membership rates. They presented a page long waiver assuming I would release things like my address, phone number, email address, license number, work number... the best/worst part was the confusion on their high school faces when I asked why they would need this information: It was so obvious- why couldn't I understand?
"Because that's what they ask for."
"What a fool i was."
Mel, in her airy, spring dress gave me a tour of the facility. (Seems "i just want some rates, I'm kind of in a hurry" fell on death ears) I swear to the imac they had 100 treadmills if they had 1. It was hard to explain to Mel that my last gym membership was at a community rec center and i spend most of my time on the street. I'm used to paying $70/year and her proposed $200 membership fee would have been unreasonable even without the $60 monthly fee i was still looking at. Sure the classes are free and yes the locker rooms are supplied with soap, shampoo and towels and of course there were more hot chicks than a Sophist-takes-his-pants-off-convention, but dammit... you all saw that video above and i saw a motherfucker on a stationary bike with a laptop hooked up to him and that shit is just not right.
This was my bounty:
Sure I could survive there, block out the bullshit and go out of my way to lift things that obviously weren't weights like bulimic blonds, benches and the expresso machine in the attached cafe. But i'd still be paying a thousand fucking dollars a year for a gym membership. And then I'd have to kick my own ass.
(maybe next year I'LL have a solstice parade)
4 comments:
I'll bet they have a no grunting policy as well. Those pansies.
What have we allowed ourselves to become?
Roll in with some DMX, and everything should be fine.
We have one of those yuppy type gymes here it GF... a guy joined it because he wanted to look at all the hot chicks. Well as it turned out only married trophy wives could afford to go there so it was all fruteless... but the gyme is pretty impressive.
Now that I look at that solstice parade, I see that it is not very far from where I used to live in Seattle. I wonder why I never went to that thing while I was in High School... I must have been busy... now that I think about it, I wonder why the Seattle City's Marching band didn't play in it. That should have been my in.
I get pretty excited about fancy gyms. Things like fluffy towels and nice locker rooms totally win me over.
That tour probably would have resulted in me forking over $200 + monthly fees.
I, however, settle for the cheap gym here in GF. And even though the nicer gym is like twice as much, I have to admit that it's non-chlorinated pool and big windows with a nice view make it pretty tempting.
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