what kind of hospital is this?

is it the natural gas that's giving me these ideas? because they're brilliant.

why no pinch?

i pinch

Berrenda,

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

shut your flaming face

You have started the CAT-BUN wars!!!

With a side of danger

bana-na-na-na-na

just in case

Anyone didn't see this link

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060508/scahill.

no work today = no pay today

the plan for the transmission fell through (what kind of tranny shop only rebuilds domestic shit?), and at nearly the same time, a family member offered me use of his company's "shop" to use for parts cleaning and the like, should i want to in his words "truly have the car restoration expeience."

well fuck. I'm not sending it to the east coast for a $600 to $800 rebuild and i'm not buying some suspect tranny off the web for $500.

Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

Fuck everything, we're doing five blades.

What i'm trying to say it, clear off the work bench. there's a reason i played with legos for the first 24 years. I'll rebuild the tranny my damn self.



get me my tools.

thumbs up

i pulled my my tranny out of my own car in my own garage today. As nick says, that's like some sort of life accomplishment. I agree. but before i get too full of myself, i have to think back to the things people were doing with cars in the 60's.

the glory days indeed.

widen the divide

you guys remember Tony from Tech Ultimate? You remember his beard? You remember his dad?

Probably not, but you will now. At least until the next hilarious, must see, 30 second internet clip.

weekend update. on tuesday.

Saturday was work on car day. During the brief pre-electrical-tear-down drive around the block, the Fiat transmission managed to violently disassemble itself. We're talking tell-tale sound of metal hitting concrete and a walk down the street to retrieve debris. Apparently the first universal joint came apart and intersected with the linkage case. Hilarity ensued.

Transmission rebuild just trumped electrical rebuild with the left.



As a tactical response, I purchased a socket set capable of destroying a common man.



Also, in Detroit this week, a rapper from the shadey crew was capped in his dome and someone died when they called 911 and the operator accused them of pranking 911 and then some more people died. I had some links to the stories... but you know.

For Wildman...

{put's on Air Supply record, track 7}

What's that Hulkster? Well yes, it's is time to dump the contents of the camera phone and show everyone what a great time we're having here in Detroit!

I know just how to fake it
and I know just how to scheme;

I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream.


Notorious sent a picture of some windmills
they're building where he's at. {sniff, sniff}
I smell Progress!

and...

wh- wh- wha- what? What's this? the Sophist is refueling a Hydrogen
powered fuel cell car??? Yes that is the DCX F-Cell and all the hotties
are flocking to it (because green makes chicks wet). In the background
you can see the hydrogen troll and his pointy red hat. It appears the
revolution is at hand... the sexy revolution!


The beating of my heart is a drum
And it's lost and it's looking for a rhythm like you.

You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright.

I've got to follow it 'cause ev'rything I know
Well it's nothing 'til I give it to you!!


Sometimes mother company lets me suckle from the teet of it's
test fleet. Finally the Sophist gets some respect on the roads
and from his neighbors in the form of a 2500HD, Solid axel, big-
balled, cock on wheels. I could have had the Sebring coupe, but
then i'd have kicked my own ass.

But then again, i've been inflicting enough pain on myself. No, i don't
think full marathons are for me; I'd like to be able to sprint from time
to time, as well. I like to think of myself more of a monster truck in the face of life, so maybe i'll do that 10-mile trail run coming up...
(shit, that 13th mile hurt)




Time now to put some work in on the Fizzle. Sure it ain't got much trunk
space for dead hookers, but the ability to attract said hookers (in a less
corpsey state) is greatly increased, thus making the live-to-dead hooker
conversion process much more efficient. Technology solves the world's
problems yet again.



Making love out of nothing at all.
Making love - out of nothing at all.


GapingVoid


Is it the natural gas that's giving me these great ideas? because they're brilliant...

bad day at work

Sophist so, you realize the war in the midle east is forever now, right?
Sophist Coworker Yes.
Sophist crude oil supply concerns:
Sophist http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5612507/
Sophist crude oil countries have all the power:
Sophist http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12085050/
Sophist war forever
Sophist (we're boned)
Sophist Coworker yes
Sophist noone knows what to do, because they're all fools
Sophist http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12098678/
Sophist Coworker sigh
Sophist madness reigns... car companies desperate to sell more cars...
Sophist yeah, that'll work
Sophist stave off death for another quarter
Sophist reactive, not proactive
Sophist everything will be okay as long as we sell more cars this month
Sophist who really thinks this is going to magically heal itself?
Sophist Coworker Manufacturing guys.
Sophist sure. their whole life is based on economies of scale
Sophist if we could just build more, cheaper...
Sophist Coworker Then people will buy them because they have to.
Sophist Coworker Riiight.
Sophist sigh
Sophist Coworker I'm so frustrated with this country/job/way of thinking.
Sophist i'm not going to play the roll of dooms-day-sayer...
Sophist but things have the potential of gettign very bad indeed
Sophist Coworker Things have very big potential of getting very bad.
Sophist Coworker although, if you think about it, there hasn't been a major world conflict in 60 years or so.
Sophist no, not one in terms of "here is peace" and now "here is a major step function into war times 10"
Sophist instead it's slow and steady
Sophist ramping up
Sophist Coworker it's like the frog in the pot of boiling water.
Sophist you think of conflicts in historical terms, you think of what day they started and what day they ended...
Sophist there is no definition here
Sophist just escallation (sp?)
Sophist Coworker Yup.
Sophist there are a lot of theories about what it will be like when the oil supply starts to really pinch, as in the U.S. can't get what it wants
Sophist Coworker We'll flex our muscle.
Sophist Coworker Well, that largely depends on who is in charge, I guess.
Sophist a common theme is war (forever)
Sophist Coworker If we had a good leader. I mean really good
Sophist it won't matter, because people are going to put someone in charge that will do their biddiing
Sophist Coworker We could delay that for 50+ years
Sophist and their bidding is SUVs
Sophist Coworker Ok, you've turned into the doomsayer
Sophist hey man, bush got re-elected
Sophist had to be a reason
Sophist
Sophist and maybe that's why the Dems have no legs, too idealististic? i don't know
Sophist Coworker time will tell

i believe that you are ninja too

first, you can get an example of what i'm talking about right here

this one is pretty damn funny as well. Actually, i think it might be better.

ah hell, just check out the site.

Answer: Two Hours and Twenty Minutes

Question: What is, How long does it take the sophist to run a Half Marathon with a sprained ankle?

That is correct.

Points of interest. By mile 8 i was so hungry, i briefly considered eating a cat i saw wonder onto the course. Something was amiss in my race prep, because though i've never felt this hunger while training, my stomach was screaming for food during the race. I think a snickers bar would have shaved 10 minutes oiff my time.

My ankle was a distraction by mile 10ish.

The next step was supposed to be, well, run the full damn thing. I'm not so sure i'm convinced that devoting my entire physical prowess to running 26 miles is a good idea. I think for now i'll stick with 13 as my maximum distance of hustled foot travel, and i'll work on that time.




should've eaten more bananas and left my red hat at home.

ouch

Time to take a step back from the doom and gloom of reality and focus on the fluff of everyday life. The half marathon i was supposed to take part in April 1st is a big question mark right now, as i rolled and sprained my ankle playing basketball last Sunday. (I shouldn't have been playing that near to a marathon, but UNC needed me on guard and i couldn't let 'em down) Basically its fucked. That night it swelled nicely and a few days later the bruises appeared above the heal and at the shin.


Three days after. Note it should appear much "bonier."


One week after

Today i wrapped the hell out of it ad hit the treadmills. Yes, i too despise the treadmills, but since winter came back in the form of a slushly, wet, snowy, crap from the sky last night and today, the rat-wheel was what i had. I ran it, but it's sore.

Here's what's great about these pictures: on the first one, you can see in the background my "monkey's playing poker" boxer shorts that Holly got me. Chances are, unless i'm drunk, you're never gonna see those in person. In the second photo, you can see my freakish toes that are webbed between the 2nd and 3rd digit. Makes me a better swimmer and as far as i know, has never been documented on the internet.

See, this web site is like one of those discovery channel medical shows. Also, i learned that's it's very hard to manipulate photoshop so bruises will show up on film. I'm not sure why, but that's good information to have.

beat the drum

"I am more convinced than ever that we should all be prepared for the inevitable collapse of society." There no way to say that sentence without people looking at you oddly. It's not something you can talk about at work. Your family will not engage you in this conversation at Xmas. There's really no reason to think about it very much.

oh well, i'm sure everything will be fine. No need to buy a gun and leave the major urban areas.

Everyone should read "The end of Oil" by Paul Roberts. I also recommend "Crossing the Rubicon" by Michael C. Ruppert.

If you're really into it, try The Long Emergency, Blood and Oil, The Geography of Nowhere... there are other.

Soon i will send those of you on the list a DVD copy of "The end of Suburbia," but it may take some time to get those out. I'll also include some absurd animation that will help take the edge off the other material, and hopefully you'll want to kill yourself less.

quotes

quotes have been popular lately. here's one.

"Reality is that which continues to exist after i stop believing in it."
-Some guy

This would imply that even though I may not be mentally ill, if the world at large is mentally ill... then that is the reality. hmmm. this could be more true than we want to admit.

On the other hand, if we all stop believing in something like, say, numbers... well then numbers would be no more. See, there's a difference between numbers and quantities and we can make number just go away, because they're arbitrary like laws and morals. This is what the guy who sits across from me couldn't understand when i tried to explain that there are no absolutes. His argument was that as an engineer, i have to base my entire mental architecture on a system of absolutes that will continue to hold true under all circumstances. i.e, Math. Duality may include two sides, but your mental assignment of the word "two" is still up in the air. Besides, from a numbers-applications stand point, 50 is a lot closer to infinity than, say, 2, even though are numbers would have us believe otherwise. Consider i have a gun with 50 bullets and you have but 2 rounds. See: infinitely better.

The reason the older, roman system of numerals didn't hold up is because the Romans had no zero. The Arab system, on the other hand, had this key "nothing" number, allowing for a more complex type of math, which was algebra and eventually calculus.

what does it all mean? Reality is that which ceases to exist when i do?

"I bang my head against the wall because it feels good when i stop."

"What good is he if he can't beat Christos?"

i have finally (nearly) finished the total brake re-job on the Fiat. Like a tumor, i just pulled out stuff that was bad, until only good parts were left. This led me to replace the master cylinder, brake fluid reservoir and hoses, and several of the hard-lines that run under the car. Also, the pads, rotors and calipers and flex-lines where replaced on all four corners. The amazing thing is, not only was the system severely leaking fluid, the calipers were rusted frozen and the hand brake was nonexistent. The only way the car could have stopped during the brief drives loading and unloading it on the trailer, was through the friction of the seized calipers. On top of that, who ever re-assembled the brake calipers lat, did it completely wrong, and since i put back the way i found 'em, it took me several hours to figure out what the hell i was doing wrong. Oh, also the hard line into the master was cross-threaded, making that leak and rust as well.

The good news is, now i need only bleed the system and make/tighten the final line connection. Now i just need a friend to come help me out...

I don't know what the hell the guy who did the brakes was thinking, but surprisingly the rest of the car is in pretty decent shape. It's going to need a muffler, which i i'll probably just have done and then i can straighten out the Italian-electrical gremlins. But that's all regardless because once the brake system has been brought online, i can test drive it for the first time.

I have defeated the brakes. What's that Chong Li?

Chong Li: Very good. But brake not hit back!

I'm drunk, so bare with me

i just got back from the local sports team game that i watched from some supplier's ultra-plush suite, the ticket for which i got from my job. See, as an employee of Auto-maker X, supplier Y offered our group tickets to this suite as a way to say "thanks." This was the ultra pimp-yourself event; my boss and his boss and the supplier's and their bosses and everyone's jerking each other off while sporting that shit-eating grin, presumably as a way to make yourself more marketable.

A little background: I knew what this was going to be and told myself i wouldn't go... but for some reason i turned colors and agreed to the ticket. Basically EVERYONE i come into contact with from my job was there. In the end, i decided free booze and food was not to be turned down.

I spent a lot of time talking to the wives because the men folk were busy "talking shop" and "wanking each other"... (i was only given one ticket, so was there solo). Apparently a lot of these people have daughters that are my age, because when it was all said and done, had been offered two daughters and a place to live rent free from my various drunken babbling. (to any of my girlfriends that might read this: i graciously declined all offers, except the one to tag-team that one guy's wife while he video tapes; we're working out the copy-right ownership). All i had to mention was some combination of "Employee of auto maker X" and "grad student" and they were offering up partial nudes of their first born. I wish i had brought a prostitute to help pass the time. In the end, i particularly enjoyed the awkward conversations of filler b.s. i had with my boss's boss, whom i've met only once before, with priceless tags like "how's it going" and "great to see you again."

During the long, shockingly-warm walk back to my car, i resolved (while partly drunk) to give all the money in my wallet to a homeless person, but never had the fortitude to follow through. it seemed like it might be a good way to smite the corporate-wheel-greasing system. In all, several lessons were learned.

1) the suites at "local sports team" arena are all different. Some look like hotel rooms, other look like strip clubs. 97% of the people who populate them are corporate schmucks in bad shirts.

1) middle class greed beats white-guilt every time.

2) it's still okay to drive drunk in detroit. err... partly drunk.

Did i mention that i kinda turned own a job offer earlier with supplier Y? yeah... it would have paid insane money, but i decided it wasn't worth it because i wouldn't have enjoyed the job. i'm not sure what the bigger self-lie was: the previous statement or the idea that i'll find something that *is* fulfilling. Anyway, i met the dude that they ended up giving that job to... I was like "have fun with all that, buddy." It was all oddly satisfying, in a "you screwed that chick that i turned down because i knew she has the hiv, kinda way."

i'm out.

this is very much how i feel about the Fiat.

Y'all need to open your ears up and soak this game up

Allow me to practice my sophist ways:

I have seen the future, my friends, and it doesn't live in a dog-forsaken cubicle. I may be the last to see the light, but my eyes are opening now... It's obvious that working for a giant corporation, sitting in a box under brain frying fluorescent lights and waiting patiently for death is a bad way to earn that 401K. But now those jobs are leaving, which is probably the best thing that could happen for a group of young (good looking), inventive (scrappy) and far-sighted (can hold our liquor) individuals such us. Master P says "Start a business"

Indeed Master P. Indeed.


We aint beefin like nah we on the positive vibe
But i still get the homocide squad on the side
See im holdin on to the steering wheel controllin the ride
And yall comin out a bumpin cuz i got it in drive


We need to come up with the good ideas and begin implementation of plan A. How can it be any riskier than working for the man? I've seen and heard about TOO many people that lose stupid jobs that they hated and end up crying in their beer over the whole deal.

It's time to start that race car school for strippers.

It's time to make a porno with an all Luara Branigan soundtrack.

It's time to start training for that race around the world.

Another night, another day goes by
I never stop myself to wonder why
You help me to forget to play my role
You take my self, you take my self control

indeed Laura Branigan. Indeed.

shout out