Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Paint yourself green and throw forks at her
Q. How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?
A. You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbors saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.
Q. What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A. The Holocaust.
Q. Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A. Repeated absences and stealing.
Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A. A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that lasts a lifetime.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel stuck to his crotch.
The bartender says, "Hey, you got a wheel stuck to your crotch."
The pirate replies, "Yarr, me ship wrecked in a terrible storm and my testicles swelled with an infection while I was knocked unconscious against the wheel. Can you please call a doctor?"
Q. What's the difference between a post box and a vagina?
A. A post box is a public container for the deposit of outgoing mail, and a vagina is the passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus in female mammals.
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies:
"I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existance and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
Q. Why was six afraid of seven?
A. It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
3 comments:
Oh yea, of course! Thanks so much!
That's all well and good, but I'm convinced that seven is still capable of eating nine.
THE NUMBER IS ALWAYS SEVEN!!!!
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