this story needs to be read. An incredible wealth of knowledge can be gained. Here's a few points...
1) everyone should carry a piece (preferably a .45 or larger)
2) it's not uncommon for people to have their face taken off
3) the primate revolution is at hand
try to spot the others and list them below.
6 comments:
I would have expected that they would have given more coverage to the fact that he had his testicles and foot mauled off... oh well... these things happen.
so there's two more lessons:
4) the media will try to protect us from the terrible truth
5) monkey are extremely efficient at disabling us
This all could have been avoided if they would have shared some cake with the other monkeys, but no, they just gave cake to Moe...
6. If you look hard enough, violent monkey porn can be found just about anywhere.
Allow me to parse the story and
perhaps my point will become clearer.
==
"Everybody was trying to get the chimp off," Chealander said.
Chimpanzees can turn surly if not handled properly, said Martine Colette.
"Chimps are notoriously strong and they have some very, very specific behaviors," Colette said.
"An average person who doesn't know chimp body language can't read them," she added.
"A big part of the investigation will be figuring out whether the owners were in compliance with regulations," Sheriff's Cmdr. Hal Chealander said Friday. "There's a reason why those chimpanzees got (off). It will be crucial to our investigation how they got (off)."
"They've been up there for 20 years and nothing like this has ever happened, according to them. And we certainly don't have any reports of anything like this happening," Chealander said.
"These are good chimps," the woman said. "This is just devastating."
==
And so on...
If I had more time I'd polish this a bit and try to include the part about Moe's history of biting off a woman's finger; as well as, the stuff about the pair of wayward female monkeys that were found by themselves after escaping together.
Wait a minute, is there even such a thing as violent monkey porn? I'm afraid to search for it, so I'll leave it up to some braver soul to clear up this mystery.
The shittyest part about it is that those other "chumps" didn't even get me out (off). Ther eis no monkey love for Moe!
Life can't be all monkey love. you have to take time to climb the trees, as well.
Ah, what the hell am i saying?
Moe knows baseball.
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