Well fuck

Here comes Halloween: The weekend full of techno and booze, ridiculous outfits, and every girl you know is dressed like a. total. slut. (mom? what are you doing in that maid outfit?)


Yes,
Sexy cops
Sexy witches
Sexy devils
Sexy angels
Sexy meter Maids
Sexy scientists (a close second)
Sexy prostitutes
Sexy cartoon characters
Sexy dead people
Sexy people having sex
And of course, my personal favorite, Sexy nurses. (head explodes)



Yes Halloween, it is truly a love/hate scenario to be tempted with so much fruit. Remember boys and girls: Most of that fruit requires too much effort to harvest (wait- i have to become Christian to pick these apples?) some of it's rotten, and you'll probably just order too aggressively and fall asleep before you finish the cup cakes.

(What the fuck were we talking about?)

Right: Sex. And Halloween. The two are like peanut butter and genitals. In case you run out of ideas, you can find here links to the map of fetishes and map of sex which both should provide a wealth of costume ideas that would get you arrested on any other night of the week. (According to the authors, one begot the other, but i think they're both god damn liars if they weren't inspired by the map of the internet by XKCD.) Anyway, point is, if you don't learn something new from each of those maps, i want to party with you this weekend. And seriously, why the fuck is anal bead corner surrounded on two sides by body modification?? SOMEBODY is bring SOMEBODY's property value down!!


Whatever. I may have begun this work with a point in mind. That point has been filed to a dull nub by images of the weekends to come. Looks like i need to stock up on orange juice and power bars!

(Moe is hooked up to a lie detector)
Eddie: Did you hold a grudge against Mr. Burns?
Moe: no. (false)
Moe: Aright! Maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. (true)
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, your free to go.
Moe: Good, cause I have a hot date tonight. (false)
Moe: a date. (false)
Moe: Dinner with friends. (false)
Moe: Dinner alone. (false)
Moe: Watching TV alone. (false)
Moe: Aright. I'm going to sit at home and ogle the girls
in the Victorian Secret Catalogue. (false)
Moe: Sears Catalogue. (true)
Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't
deserve this kind of shabby treatment! (false)

update: it's funnier if i just include a damn clip of what i'm talking about!



FALSE!