Well shit. I was going to post a fine, nostalgic picture of the caddy in all her glory here, but since my computer is just once step of functionality above my washer, it's not going to happen. (When will the Apple Gods see fit to deliver me to my imac?)
Anyway, let me paint you a picture:
Shipping weight: 4156 lb
Length: 221 in (or about 19 ft)
Width: 76.5 in (or about 6.5 ft, i can lay down in back)
Bhp: 140 @ 3200 rpm (couldn't pass you on a bike)
Torque: 346 lb.-ft. @ 2000 rpm (can pull your house off it's foundation)
Compression ratio: 8.0:1 (comp this low typically seen on cars with, say a BLOWER!)
Fuel Tank : 25Gal
Everything about this beast said "look here world, i'm gonna throw a fist right in the face of convention and economy. Oh yeah, and i'm a BIG FUCKIN PIMP and your shit might get shot or run over if i see you lookin at my chrome crooked. And could you lend me some money because my ass is broke and i gotta fill this bitch up. P.S. Did ya check my neon, BITCH!"
Things that tried to stop the caddy:
-state cop
-hill behind Lee's Apt.
-(now famous) tree
-neighbor's car
-Wisconsin
-off road trails of various slopes
-a local cop
-lawn couch
-some ford's rear end on College Ave.
And even in the face of all these challenges, the caddy rode on. I see it from time to time, since the neighbor kid owns her now. I can always hear her coming down my street, calling out in her raspy, smoker's voice. I gotta say, she's looking sexy for her age.
No comments:
Post a Comment