see title of blog

former struggler jon got me in to see this guy talk about his robot car.

What hath god wrought?

the inevitable

kramer.

so much to do

so little time.

Here's two stories that may
have slipped under your radar.

This is Bob. He was a decent man and
we're not gonna bury him in the fucking
garden

In the mean time, i have found a renewed
vigor for the cause. I feel surrounded by
opportunity. I feel like raising a few hundred
thousand to finance a (viable, non-hippie
ridden) off-grid community to pedal to well
to do greens that don't have the time or
energy to live in a mountain. (fucking home-
work is always getting in the way of life.)

"If we don't have a proactive energy policy, we'll just end up using coal, then shale, then tar sands, and it will be a continually diminishing return, and eventually our civilization will collapse. But it doesn't have to end that way. We have a choice."

part 2

Nobody would touch the "enjoy anal sex" pills, (which i happened to think was quite funny) so I'm going to try again:

More found here.

it would seem the older we get, the freer and more explicit the the sexual details become.



http://www.gapingvoid.com/

mtu =/ wsu

2) October 2006 Campus Crime Summary:

ROBBERY: Five incidents of robbery or attempted robbery were reported during October 2006. The first occurred on October 10th at 8:00pm when a female student reported she was walking out of Science Hall when an unknown subject came up behind her. The subject suddenly grabbed at the students backpack. While struggling for control over the backpack, the student grabbed her pepper spray and sprayed the subject in the face. The subject let go of the back pack and started screaming from the effects of the pepper spray. The student ran to Parking Structure #2 and called police. A search of the area failed to locate the subject. The student was not injured and no property was taken. The subject is described as a black male in his 20's, 5'8", medium build, short natural hair, no facial hair, wearing a black shirt with 'WSU' written across the front.

The second incident occurred on October 14th on Antony Wayne Drive at W. Kirby at 11:35pm when a 19 year old male student reported that he was
approached him on foot. The subject suddenly ripped the Complainants Cartier brand prescription glasses off his face and fled on foot. The Complainant was not injured. He described at the subject as a black male, 19 years of age, 5'6" 149 lbs, wearing a black skull cap, black jacket and dark pants.

The third incident occurred on October 15th at 1:10am when an 18 year old male student stated he was about the enter the South Residence Hall when the below subject approached him from one side. The unknown subject suddenly ripped the victims gold chain from his neck, breaking the chain. The subject attempted to run off with the chain and was chased by the Complainant. The running subject was spotted by responding WSUPD Officers who caught and arrested him. The gold chain, valued at $1,000, was recovered and Complainant, who was not injured, later refused to prosecute the perpetrator for the robbery.

The fourth incident occurred on October 16th at 1:05pm at Trumbull and the Edsel Ford Service Drive. In that case, a male WSU student stated he was driving his 2005 Dodge Durango and was involved in a 'fender bender' accident with a 1993 Saturn. When he pulled to the curb, two make subjects got out of the Saturn and up to the Durango. The student rolled his window down to talk with the two subjects when the started punching him through the open window. The second subject ran to the passenger side and dragged the student from his vehicle while taking the students wallet and cell phone. The first subject jumped into the student Durango and attempted to drive away.
Witnesses called WSUPD and responding Officers arrived while the incident was still in progress. Officers subsequently arrested the 15 and 18 year old male subjects and charged them with attempted carjacking. Two female companions were also arrested when the attempted to interfere with the arrest of the two male subjects. The male student was not seriously injured.

The fifth incident occurred on October 26th at 12:30pm when WSUPD Officers on patrol spotted what appeared to be an "in-progress" fight in front of 4855 Fourth, WSU Engineering Technology building. During their on-scene investigation, the Officers learned that the WSU staff member was confronted by an unknown subject whom he recognized him from previous thefts from inside the building. The victim, a WSU staff member, struggled with the subject who was trying to flee on a bicycle. During the struggle, the subject displayed a lock blade knife and threatened to cut the victim if he didn't let him escape. WSUPD Officers arrested the subject and found a lock back knife in his possession, along with a calculator the subject was just taken from the building. Because the subject used a knife in this incident, he was charged with Robbery Armed. WSUPD Investigators submitted a warrant package to the Wayne County Prosecutors Office and later obtained a two count felony warrant char!
ging Robbery Armed and Habitual Offender - 4th Offense. The subject, who remains in the Wayne County Jail, is identified as Julius Lane Wilson, age 48 of Churchill street, Detroit. He has no WSU affiliation.

A sixth near campus robbery occurred on October 31, 2006 at 8:00pm when a male student reported he was walking on the Lodge Service Drive, near Warren when approx. 10 black males, in their mid teens approached him. As they walked past the student, one of the subjects reached out and grabbed the students prescription glasses off his face. The group of ten teens then ran northbound on the freeway service drive. The student was not injured.

BURGLARY: Nine incidents of Burglary, Attempted Burglary, or Entry without Force were reported during October. The campus building involved were: DeRoy Apartments, A/AB Building, the Towers (2 incidents), Student Center Building (2 incidents), South Residence Hall (2 incidents) and the University Psychiatric Center at 2761 E. Jefferson.

LARCENY: A total of forty-three (43) incidents of larceny (theft of unattended property) were reported during October 2006...almost twice as many as reported during August and September. Items left unattended (and later discovered missing) by their owners include wallets, cell phones, purses, text books and even laptop computers.

VEHICLE THEFT: Two vehicles were reported stolen from WSU parking facilities during October. On October 21st, a 2001 Chrysler Town and County mini van was reported stolen from WSU Lot UT at 4510 Cass. On October 26th, a 2000 Dodge Caravan mini van was discovered missing from 555 E. Canfield across from Scott Hall/Medical school.

Near campus vehicle thefts, from area streets, sky rocketed during October 2006 with twenty vehicles reported to WSUPD during October. This is almost twice the number of incidents as reported in "normal" previous months. These incident include:

I will now blow up your mind with content

you better god damned watch this first movie

for your next party

(more examples after the jump)

Short Answer: I got the job

Long answer: you have to read on as I wax philosophic on the turns of life. I can't help but think back to a drunken and oddly crystal clear conversation with MTU "The corpsier the Better" Kelly. We were discussing seemingly deep and extremely college-esq topics like the future and careers and I clearly remember proclaiming that I would forever be okay because I seem to blindly stumble ass-backward into a good situation every few years. Let's recap:

Today I was offered a job at a young, exciting, forward-thinking company doing work that both interests me and betters the world. And just for sowing up they wanna pay the shit out of me. To get it, I didn't really do anything overly exerting other than show up.

Deep into 2003 I had graduated college and had a shit job. Or no job. I filled my days by knowing on every night of the week which local bar sold beers for a dollar. Then I met a hot blond with short shorts.

In 2000 I was looking for a way to score some ends at college and decided to answer an ad for a photographer at the school paper. Other than having sex with playmates for money, It turned out to be the best possible job to ever have while attending college. (Caveat: I couldn't find anyone to pose for my attempt at making an entry in the playboy college photographer competition)

Knowing only that High school was totally lame and i didn't want to "sell out" to the University of Michigan (sorry Stos) I decided I'd move to the U.P. for 4.5 years for no good reason at all. Best no-good-reason-at-all-decision, ever.

Back to toady: I should point out that Eye of the Tiger was on the radio when i got into the car to drive to the interview for this job. Here's to stumbling ass backward into life. The High life.

And now back to your regularly scheduled elitist commentary on the state of the world:

could be a big deal

god dammit.

Today is UAW observed Veteran's Day, which seems to oddly coincide with opening day of hunting season. (translation = day off)

In wholly unrelated news, I'm waiting to hear the results of a job interview which could i think leave me very fulfilled and simultaneously "well to do." Now is the time to reflect on questions which could have been answered better.

do some

the lie within

It seems i may have been living lie for the last 26 years. A few weeks back when I was chatting with a salesman about firearms, upon hearing I rifled left-handed but live my life as a righty, he suggested i take the left hand/right hand test. It goes like this: make a diamond with your hands outstretched arm's length. Imagine you were about to perform a diamond-cutter a la Diamond Dallas Page. (if there's anyone around I would highly recommend concluding this test with an actual diamond cutter as the people around you would find this highly unexpected) Now line something up in the distance in that diamond area, such as a clock on the wall or picture and center it between your hands using both eyes open, as you would naturally. Next close one eye, and then the other, and with only one eye will the item still be visible. Which ever eye you can see it with is the dominant side of your brain, typically indicating your left handedness or right handedness. As you can guess by now, i could only see it with my left eye. Taken alone, the test doesn't mean a whole lot, but then consider guns, baseball bats and hockey sticks all seem to work better for me in a left and configuration. I started thinking about this again today and did a little internet search. this page has an interesting test for lefts/rights of which i seem to be predominantly left-brained. If i had more free time i would certainly try to convert my writing hand.

nothing has changed

Veteran's day.


not all is as it seems.

Ganked!

(found here.)

Thank you Chestocrates

"For men to plunge headlong into an undertaking of vast change, they must be intensely discontented yet not destitute, and they must have the feeling that by the possession of some potent doctrine, infallible leader or some new technique they have access to a source of irresistible power. They must also have an extravagant conception of the prospects and potentialities of the future. Finally, they must be wholly ignorant of the difficulties involved in their vast undertaking. Experience is a handicap."

-The True Believer

(a lot of things are like that... already, just on the unhappy side of the middle twenties, there are tasks and undertakings that though I managed once, I should never try again because of the unforeseen difficulties involved.) (I also think it's safe to assume most of these "undertakings" in life involve cars, women or sculpting of social-political landscape)

heads up:

We've entered that 1/12th of the year when it's okay to listen to the full length version of November Rain AND pretend we're Slash playing a solo outside the wedding chapel. Likewise, during this one month of the year, it's not frowned upon to be just a little weepy when you think of either a) the state of Axel Roses's career or b) that bitch from middle-school who never return your highly suggestive, yet appropriately playful notes in english class.

That bitch.

{look's away}

damn dust in my eye...

The Witch, the Goblin and the Mystery Soup.

What follows is a poorly formated attempt to describe just a small micro-chasm of the many events that took place this weekend. The hilarity lies not only in the story, but in an attempt to tell it via a corporate messenger program (think AOL-ish) that is ripe with naughty-word seeking bots that are hot for certain words. The more i explain the less funny it gets... (all that is needed to know is chicken dinner has previously been equated to sex)

Co-Worker (How many rounds have you fired, and how often have you cleaned it?)

Me 75 rounds between three of us in one weekend up north

Me cleaned it once during the weekend and once again after

Co-Worker Isn't cleaning the firearm a good time?

Me eh.. kind of a lot of work with such a long barrell

Co-Worker Wait. Isn't that what she said?

Me ZING!

Me (i can't believe i didn't even see that coming... i think i'm slipping)

Me so if i were to mention fried chicken dinner, you'd know what i meant, right?

Co-Worker probably. Let me think about it.

Me (stay with me)

Me if i were to add "non-traditional methods of engagement" would you have an idea?

Co-Worker Yes.

Me think... rear

Co-Worker Yes. I got ya loud and clear.

Me right

Me corporate-safe ingo

Me lingo

Me so we're at the party and it's about 2ish.. going real strong

Me the garage is the designated "cool off, relax, chill, smoking" area

Me My friend from a far (primary Character) is there with me and my old housemate and my old housemate’s g/f and i think h and my housemate, etc...

Me the a for mentioned topic arises in conversation

Me still with me?

Co-Worker yes

Co-Worker (I'm not that dim)

Me i know-

Me it's cryptic

Me more history-

Me My friend from a far (primary Character) disappeared earlier for about 2 hours with My housemate's g/f's roommate

Me "the witch" we'll call her because of costume

Co-Worker right.

Me My friend from a far (primary Character) and former housemate’s g/f are debating the earlier topic

Me My friend from a far (primary Character) is against

Me strongly

Me we're sitting and he has to stand to make his point

Me not ever has, not ever will

Me engage

Me she's like, you know, getting real graphic and medical with her explanation of why it works just fine, whatever

Co-Worker (shame)

Me (the witch was in the garage also)

Me later that night

Me the witch

Me she's like, i couldn't understand why he would say that

Me since, you know, earlier, that's what went on

Co-Worker ha ha ha

Me he just, you know, didn't know

Co-Worker (how can you not?)

Me she's like "i figured he was into it so i just rolled with it"

Me (how can you not, indeed)

Co-Worker That's hilarious.

Me so of course, morning after, we're like, "so, My friend from a far (primary Character)..."

Me about your tirade on certain acts...

Me To My friend from a far (primary Character)'s credit he took the joking at his expense quite well, admitting in his life of living such an error had likely occurred once or twice... Though i'm not sure how i feel about that since, ya know... whatever...

Me (note your earlier comment)

Co-Worker I digress: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW

Co-Worker although digress is the wrong word to use.

Co-Worker The strategy for eating fried chicken is completely different. Different methods must be used to ensure that you create the least food waste or mess.

Me you're saying... when you sit down to dine... you know what to expect based on what's on the plate?

Me and prepare accordingly?

Me but should you expect ribs and discover soup, you'd immediately recognize your fork is not working out so well?

Me (what?)

Co-Worker Yes, exactly.

Me well, i hate to say it...

Co-Worker Because soup is eaten and enjoyed in a completely different manner than ribs.

Co-Worker you can't rush into eating soup because often it's too warm.

Me but i think the real examination of "character" should be laid upon the witch

Me EXACTLY

Me that was the turn of phrase

Me we needed

Me whilst ribs can be enjoyed almost immediately

Co-Worker Exactly.

Co-Worker I agree we're judging the witch.

Me exactly

Me i mean... what's going on there?

Me where it's just like... you know, soup and ribs are interchangeable?

Co-Worker does she have soup every day and ribs every evening for dinner?

Me no- because here's the thing

Co-Worker Most people I know that aren't accustomed to soup on a regular basis throw up a fuss when it's delivered.

Me lol

Co-Worker "waiter, I didn't want soup!"

Me everybody wants soup

Me they just might not know it

Co-Worker They just don't know it.

Co-Worker Right.

Me how do you convince someone they want soup?

Me force feed them? haven't we moved beyond that?

Me (i'm not even sure if i have to apologize for that joke because it was so vague)

Me anyway- here's the thing

Me this whole engagement was predetermined because the witch hadn't had any type of chicken for some time.

Me and was pretty much a shoe-in for this dinner

Co-Worker Yikes.

Co-Worker Did the witch reflect someone who had eaten her fair share of meals (dual meanings here)

Me no to the literal and not sure to the metaphorical

Co-Worker So there wasn't a logical reason she hadn't had a chicken dinner in 1.5 years.

Me yeah, i'm not sure about that... odd since she sat down to dine with My friend from a far (primary Character) with no advance plans

Me clearly reservations aren't required at her restaurant

Co-Worker I guess not.

Me perhaps the world will never know the mystery of the witch, the goblin and the soup

Co-Worker Indeed.

Co-Worker IN a last point not to poke fun at the goblin yet hard to be avoided: perhaps the reason he didn't know is that the serving utensil was underwhelming and not effective at eating the fried chicken?

Me hmmm... i hate to think that was the case

Me i think the goblin would have much lower self esteem if he were vastly under equipped to enjoy a fine meal

Me I'm not saying i have direct knowledge of what's in the picnic basket

Me but i've heard stories that would seem to indicate otherwise

Me I'll ask the witch

Me (through other people)

Co-Worker Right, often times the degradation of the quality of meal would require either a large piece of chicken or a small fork.

Me right

Me (knife)

Co-Worker Again, I place the onus of the blame on the witch.

Me wait!

Me perhaps there was second shooter?

Me in the bushes

Co-Worker yes.

Me i can't believe i didn't think of that

Me of course the witch should know how many people are at the table

Co-Worker Yes.

Me this conversation has made my monday much better

Co-Worker heh.

Co-Worker I'm not looking forward to my night.

Me no soup for you?

Co-Worker She's still laid out with fever and cough and sore throat.

Co-Worker Plus I have about 5 hours of homework to do.

Me boo

Co-Worker Agreed.

Me speaking of which, (witch?) i have to go to class

Co-Worker Enjoy. Watch out for the fried chicken. It's delicious.

Me all i hear in my head when i read that is the Dave Chappelle joke about fried chicken (literal)

Co-Worker Agreed.

Co-Worker "Turns out I'm genetically predisposed to liking chicken"

Me I may blog this conversation

Me should certain parties agree to it

Me with names removed

Co-Worker Of course.

Me it might win me a prize of some type

Co-Worker perhaps a fried chicken dinner?

Me perhaps

Me i'll call the witch

Me solve the mytery of the soup

Me (old man Jenkins?)

Co-Worker yes

Me (he would have gotten away with it, too... if not for the meddling kids)

Co-Worker Thank you Wayne's World.

Me no, thank YOU, My friend from a far (primary Character)

Co-Worker indeed.

Me catch you tomorrow

Co-Worker likely.

damn that smelled good

mean gene

Gene.

campus watch

To All Wayne State University Students, Staff and Faculty,

In This Issue:

1) September 2006 Campus Crime Stats
2) September 2006 Campus Crime Summary
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

1) September 2006 Campus Crime Stats:

- Crimes Reported on the Wayne State University Campus -

September 2006 Jan-Sept. 2006 Jan-Sept. 2005

Homicide 0 0 0

Forcible Sex Offenses 3 7 2

Non-Forcible Sex Offenses 0 0 0

Robbery 0 5 7

Aggravated Assault 2 7 3

Burglary 9 71 87

Larceny 24 321 345

Vehicle Theft 3 21 22

Arson 0 1 2
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

2) September 2006 Campus Crime Summary:

FORCIBLE SEX OFFENSES: Three incidents of forcible fondlings were reported on September 12, 2006. All three incidents were perpetrated by the same non-WSU subjects who were arrested by WSUPD and subsequently charged by the Wayne County Prosecutors Office.
The first incident occurred at The Towers at approximately 12 midnight when the three subjects knocked on a residents door. The three female room occupants answered the door. The three male subjects walked in and asked, "Did anyone order some strippers?". The three female occupants thought the incident was a prank and replied, "No". At that point, one of the male subjects fondled two of the female residents. The subjects then left the room when two RA's approached due to the loud noises. None of the female students was injured.
While WSUPD Officers were investigating this incident, a second similar incident was reported at the South Residence Hall. In this second incident, a female resident reported she heard a knock at her door and when she opened it, three unknown males quickly entered without her permission. The subjects demanded the resident go downstairs to the front desk and sign them "in" as guests. The student refused and one of the subjects fondled her before leaving her room. The student was not injured.
Officers at the Towers scene were advised of this second incident at South Hall and responded. On their arrival at South Hall they spotted one of the subjects outside the building. A foot chase ensued and the subject was apprehended. Officers then began an area search, locating the second subject inside a nearby vehicle. The third subject was later found inside a gas station at Woodward and E. Palmer.
All three subjects were arrested and charged with Home Invasion and Criminal Sexual Conduct. The South Hall complainant refused to prosecute and no charges were brought against any of the subjects for the South Hall incident. Two Complainants from the first incident at the Towers did prosecute and subsequently identified their assailants. These subjects have been bound over for trial on Home Invasion and Criminal Sexual Conduct charges. Their cases are proceeding through the Wayne County Court system.
Two of the arrested subjects have no WSU affiliation. The third subject is a former WSU student with no current connection to WSU.
All WSU Housing residents are reminded to never open your door to anyone you do not know. Always look through the peep hole and ask who the person is. If you do not know the person, keep your door closed/locked and call the front desk and/or WSUPD at 577-2222

AGGRAVATED ASSAULT: On September 17, 2006, at approximately 1:00 am, a resident of South Hall reported that he and his girlfriend had just left South Hall when they were assaulted by four males sitting in front of the South Residence Hall. The victims state they were walking across Anthony Wayne Drive and had reached the grass median, when the female was hit in the back with a thrown rock. The male student immediately turned around to see who had thrown the rock when he was struck in the face and shoulder with four thrown rocks. At that point four male subjects, sitting on the 'knee wall' in front of the South Residence Hall scattered in different directions. An area search failed to locate these subjects. The male student and his girlfriend were not seriously injured.
A formal crime prevention recommendation has been made to remove the landscape rocks surrounding Ghafari and South Residence Halls.

BURGLARY: Eight (8) incidents of Burglary, Attempted Burglary or Entry Without Force were reported during September 2006. The locations involved were the Engineering building (2 incidents), Old Main (2 incidents), The Towers and South Hall (see Sex Offenses above), Ghafari Hall and the parking booth at WSU Lot 13.

LARCENY: Twenty-four incidents of larceny (the theft of unattended property) were reported during September 2006. The building with the highest rate of larceny, during September 2006, was the Adamany Undergraduate Library with 4 incidents.

VEHICLE THEFT: Three vehicles were reported stolen from WSU parking facilities during September. On September 5th, a 1995 Geo Prism was reported missing from the third level of Parking Structure #3. On September 10th, a 1997 Mercury Grand Marquis was found missing from WSU Lot 30 at the Football Field. On September 12th, a 2000 Chevrolet Monte Carlo was reported stolen from level three of Parking Structure # 2.

Near campus vehicle thefts reported to WSUPD, during September, include:

Sept. 3rd Third and Prentis 1985 Toyota 4 dr
Sept. 6th Anthony Wayne N/O Warren 1998 Plymouth Voyager Mini Van
Sept. 11th Warren at S/B Lodge SD 2000 Jeep
Sept. 12th Third S/O Prentis 1999 Chrysler Cirrus 4 dr
Sept. 13th Cass at Prentis 2002 Dodge Ram Pick Up
Sept. 15th Warren E/O Anthony Wayne 1998 Ford Taurus 4 dr
Sept. 15th Warren E/O Anthony Wayne 2002 Lincoln Town Car
Sept. 16th Palmer E/o Brush 1998 Jeep Cherokee 4 dr
Sept. 18th Warren E/O Trumbull 1995 Dodge Spirit 4 dr
Sept. 19th W. Forest at Second 1998 Chevrolet Malibu 4 dr
Sept. 21st Lot at 80 E. Hancock 1998 Ford Taurus 4 dr
Sept. 23rd Canfield W/O Cass 2002 Dodge Stratus 4 dr
Sept. 25th Kirby W/O Woodward 2003 Chevrolet Cavalier 4 dr