My readership has steadilly decreased

Over the last 8 months it's dropped linearly by 75%. I'd show you a chart, but you're smart folks, you can finger it out.

Here's a report on what's happening:




Also, if you haven't seen the Epic Win FTW website, it often looks like this:




Boom.

Mostly just links

NIETZSCHE'S
ANGEL FOOD CAKE.

BY REBECCA COFFEY
- - - -
1. Allow the angel to reach room temperature. Then kill it.

2. Kill God. Set Him aside.

3. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

4. Ecstatically whip, as if possessed by a storm-wind of freedom, 1-1/2 cups of excellent egg whites with 1/4 tsp. salt and 1-1/2 tsp. cream of tartar. Continue until peaks are as if raised to their own heights and given wings in a fine air, a robust air.

5. Gradually add 3/4 cup sugar, about 3 tbsp. at a time.

6. You are brilliant.

7. Now, add 1 tsp. vanilla and 1/4 tsp. almond extract, and then sift together 1-1/4 cups flour and 3/4 cup sugar.

8. Blend in God and the angel. Emboldened, add the egg mixture.

9. Gaze into the überbatter. The überbatter will gaze into you.

10. While prancing about in a frenzy of self-satisfaction and anticipation, use a rubber scraper to push the überbatter into an ungreased 10" tube pan, for it is destined to be there.

11. Bake on a lower rack until done, usually 35-40 minutes, while reciting to the upper rack a long, convoluted anecdote about your childhood.

12. Invert the tube pan over a bottle for a few hours. Then impetuously rap the pan. Shout, "Aha!" and slide a knife along the pan's insides.

13. Call what tumbles out a cake if you dare. Call it miraculous even.

14. Eat it. It is delicate, morbid, loveable, and you will die depressed, delirious, and overweight.

(McSweeny's)


Got a gun? You need a gun.


Be sure to check out the updates to the RACE CAR!

I know how this story ends....I'll even update it for 2010 Ferris has a three way with sloan and his sister, the grease ball gets to thrash a ferrari with a head full of coke he found in the ferrari, and in a strange twist of copycat-ism, Cameron dragged out into the field naked, and shot execution style by his iraq war vetern father - pissed not so much about the ferrari but with the cocaine he stashed in it to keep his mind numb to his deranged wife and the shadows that he thinks is hiding the enemy.....

Speaking of awesome vehicles, this carbon fiber super boat got owned. It makes me sad.



(see more here)

you think you're so great 2010? I seen 29 just like you...

Though i have no misconceptions that i will or even could return to posting with the regularity that i once knew, here's an attempt at something with content:

But first, the WHORES!



I've been thinking about turning 30. It's about 8 months away and i'm starting a mental checklist/reflecting pond so i can sort out what (if anything) it all means. Incidentally it may correspond with the completion of the master's degree (what, you think you my MASTA now?), so i'm thinking "Toga Senior Barrel pt II: Son of Toga Senior Barrel"

Physicist: But who would come?
AS: Yo Momma!
AS: {weeping inside, knowing that her mother *would* come and probably bring a very nice bottle of wine, but people like Yooper Dave, Drunk Roland and Random Slutty Girl #3 would in fact, not be there,)

At times like these i am reminded of the Allegory of the Beer Cave. It must surely be so!


/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


let's talk about breast cancer awareness. First, let is be known, i love boobs. No, it's true- Love 'em. And even as a lover and occasional manic for breasts, i'm a little uncomfortable by the "tits all out there" direction that breast cancer awareness is taking. See, the bumper sticker said "save the ta tas." At that moment i remember all the weird breast cancer awareness stuff i've seen, like the "i <3 boobs" t-shirts and the facebook bra-color status updates and odd bumper stickers and stuff that tries to draw on some combination of shock and primal love of tits. (The over exposure is probably from all the half-marathons; those things tend to attract people that run "for causes" like jesus and boobs or both , though running for a cause and thinking people should give money to your preferred cause because you did something that makes your life better... that's a whole other rant)

Anyway- what you've got now are excuses for frat guys to where I <3 BOOBS tshits and hot girls to draw attention to their own chests and, well, doesn't it make you feel dirty all over? Not, like, morally dirty- I wouldn't know that feeling, but like used-by-corporate-PR-dirty? Maybe it's because i love breasts so much... it's like a member of my family is being exploited to fund-raise! And if you really belived in the cause, isn't there a level of objectification happening, and are you willing to trade that to sell some T-shirts with your slogan? then again, i could be way off... It's been a while since i've rapped at ya'll and maybe i'm losing my edge.


/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


Finally (the Whores?) and as usual, a recap of last year:

Learned to ski
Visited Vermont
Was tossed out of 7 bars in one night
Ruined my favorite boots
Ran a trail half marathon with a (self diagnosed) broken toe
Learned to weld
Built a race car
Planted a garden
Visited Georgia
Bought a Miata
Drove the tail of the dragon
Learned to Heal-Toe shift
Went to Berlin (2x +good)
Stood up in a wedding
Motorbiked to Montreal (3x +wet)
Visited NY (several times)
Moved to Ohio
Invaded the home of the Physicist
Started grad school
Grew some grey hair
Raced a race car
Rode a Ducati
Visited North Carolina
Rode two mechanical bulls
Visited the UP

Plus some other stuff

As the scorpion said to the frog, "it is my nature"

Don't shoot the messenger...

-paraphrased, not original- We frequently hear the complaint that slutty men are applauded and slutty women are disdained. Let me explain why. If you have a key that can open many locks, its the master key, and generally very useful and good. If you had a lock that could be opened by any key, we would consider that a pretty shitty lock, right?

Your mom wasn't your dad's first

The link below is a little crazy-liberal-picket-sign-swinging, but the person did a good job of collecting the advertisements i wish to showcase, as well as providing some amusing re-dubs.

See them here

Remember the god old days when i would update bi-weekly and provide insights into the world as well as hilarious links and life-inspiring anecdotes? Me neither.

Here's some more internet shit to stare at:



Sorry i missed your party dot com

I'm actually anxious to return to my scholastic pursuits. How lame is that? I guess the internet can't offer the hours of mind-stealing entertainment that it once did.


Yup, the back of the party has been broken.







(nah, it's still funny)

two things

Today a physicist suggested I name my book "A Curious Tongue: The {My Name} Story."

Agreed.


Also,

Winter Projects

I love technology and even in the hands of the bad guys it warms my techno-heart to see simply solutions used for what must ave seemed like insurmountably complicated problems. (HTF are we gonna escape the drones?) This sadly was not one of my winter projects but the motorcycle is...


The W650 sits in wait in the basement. Just before retiring it i ran some Seafoam through it like everyone has been raving about and it immediately killed one of the cylinders from firing. My instinct tells me its just a fouled plug. I hope my instinct is right. To do list includes rebuilding the clutch, replacing the plugs, mild tear down and cleaning of the carbs and general cleaning of the 8k miles worth of grime is has accumulated in the short year I've owned it.


Finally, I've been heavily researching suspensions upgrades for the Miata. To give you an idea of how bad things are, this guy made a video of the stock set-up.



The problem is, like everything else in the modern world, the new Miata has been pussi-fied into a bland, all-appealing former shell of it's self. The good news is, by simply adding stiffer anti-sway bars i can turn this day-time housewife into full-fledged stripper-wife! From there a set of coil-over shocks and raspy exhaust would be almost sinful to postpone.

so lonely

desperate attempt to update

It seems through Facebook's allowance of a quick and dirty thought cleansing combined with a busy schedule, the days of consistent and reliable blog updates are dead.

Here, Here.

Rock lock!

Vehiclular madness and the pumkpin hell

Earl, from My Name is Earl.


The world is spinning in my direction on the vehicular front. The Grand Am's wheels were so corroded that they required a major overhaul. So i pulled of the tires and went to town with a grinder and some brass wheels. 10 man-hours later, they're corrosion free, holding air, wrapped with new rubber and painted black! I always knew that car would look boss with black rims and turns out, it does. During the two weeks it was up on stilts, i took the opportunity to add the Sat. radio and replaced the blown speakers in the back. Unfortunately, the cool kids on the internet were wrong and it's actually the Amp causing the popping noise in the rears.



Svetlana has her cold air intake, a fresh batch of Mobile-1 synthetic and a nice warm cover to keep her warm all winter. And when the weather breaks, a fine set of 8" wide Turbo RX-7 wheels/tires await her in the basement.

The motorcycle will be heading into the basement as well for a mild overhaul. A new clutch pack is in order as well as a solid cleaning top to bottom. I'd like to replace the brake line with something shorter, to match the lower bars, and preferably braided steal. I'll also be wrapping the pipes to give a topping off of badd-ass-ness.

Lastly, the race car will be under the knife all winter. The fuel system and brake lines will receive a general application of un-fucking and the engine is going to be wrung out for all she's got (left).

How so, you ask?

I'll give you a hint: It starts with


And rhymes with "forced induction." (but how would you force induction with a non-turbo header and no super charger... ?)

See ya at the races.

Here's me.

Here's me, hating fucking hipsters:

Don't Lose Touch

"I certainly had an appreciation of the danger which to me was part of the pleasure of racing. To me now racing is - the dangers are taken away: if it's difficult, they put in a chicane. So really now the danger is minimal - which is good, because people aren't hurt. But for me the fact that I had danger on my shoulder made it much more exciting. It's rather like if you flirt with a girl, it's more exciting than paying for a prostitute, because while you know you're gonna get it, the other one you don't. And I think with driving a motor car, the danger is a very necessary ingredient. Like if you're cooking, you need salt. You can cook without salt, but it doesn't have the flavor. It's the same with motor racing without danger. For me."

Sterling moss

losing touch

IMAGINE

Imagine a world where businessmen- No, car makers; CEOs, are over-the-top cartoonish figures. Characters issuing outlandish, turn-of-the-(20th)-century-esq challenges: "Come one, come all! Who can defeat me and my machine in the five-sided-fistagon?

This IS the world we live in!

I think it means that the European high-performance sedans are excellent, even superb cars, but quite possibly not ready for racing laps right out of the show-room. The CTS-V is not only quicker, but will, in totally untweaked, stock form, run hot laps at any race track until it runs out of fuel. Transmission oil and diff oil temps are stable, engine oil temp doesn't go up, brakes get a bit more pedal travel, but don't fade. The street tires get a tad greasy, but handling and control remain excellent. "May the best car win"! (It wins automatically if the competitors won't show up!)

And they didn't show up. (See the fall out here)


Here's a guy that would seem to have a pretty good understanding of 1) what it takes to fight a war and 2) what it is exactly the states have found themselves in the middle of. What did he do with all that vast and first hand knowledge? HE RAN THE FUCK AWAY because he didn't see any other options. (I know, i know, its left-biased news but the accounts of WTF is going on are pretty eye opening)

Also, in case you missed it, someone drove 15 tons of explosives up to a government building in Iraq this week. 15 tons! Try to wrap you brain around where and how a guy in a dessert with supposedly only a skeleton network of support pulls this shit off?

Finally, mark my words and write down the date because i WILL be these people some day.

Maybe tomorrow?

Because it amuses me

just some silly

this reminds me of my old roommate Rob. I miss that guy.



I've been thinking a lot about cars. Even more so than usual. Also, considering I haven't reduced the amount I've been thinking about women, it must mean that my brain is working more than usual.

I almost had an opportunity to buy the Fiat back this week. By some freak stroke of non-luck, i found it posted on Craigslist, but about a week too late. I probably would have pulled the trigger on it and later dealt with the ramification of personal and financial matter.

What would i do with my perfectly set-up Fiat? Something awesome... If i had more moeny, something like this. Or maybe not. I could try this trick, but diesel really deserves a bigger home than a fiat. Maybe a nice Caddy diesel? We all know the fiat really deserves a turbo solstice engine... And i even know someone looking to unload one!

Also, let me drop you some knowledge: If you're going to build an electric car, be smart about it. This guy did it all wrong, even with the stupid money that was thrown at the project. really? An alternator?

And now, for the naked Miata porn:

see it here and some more of it over here!

(more here if you're into this kind of thing.)

(it's cars.)

it's still cocld

im still feeling car-tastic

From Jalopnik:

I believe in Horsepower, the Father almighty,
creator of fun and excitement.

I believe in Rear Wheel Drive, his only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Manual Transmission
and born of the Frenchman Panhard.
He suffered under Jean-Louis Périn,
invented, died, and was buried;
thankfully before the CVT.
The third day he was still dead
but his transmission lives on in Heaven
and is seated at the right hand of Horsepower the Father almighty.
From there he will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Manual Transmission,
the holy WRC races,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of speeding tickets,
the resurrection of the classics,
and the hoon everlasting. Amen.




Finally... You want the action? Here's the god damned action right here. It makes my man pieces tingle just thinking about another go at it. Like Joey talking to an underage girl, "i'll see YOU in 2010."

well...

It has begun.


Before




After




Watch out for Surf City-sized puddles!