Almost time to reset the year

First something to clear the mind:



This video, I swear to the gods, this is what i see when i pass out drunk. It's beautiful.

Feeling insecure? this illustration will either hurt, help or have no effect, guaranteed.

Don't believe that new Mileage standards cannot be met easily and cheaply.

Chestocrates' latest commentary on the inability of the masses to stop making babies was spot on. I recommend it. Funny that at the same time myself and the other members of our ZARP (Zombie Attack Response Plan) were doing some recreational shooting out on the farm. Turns out a shotgun is an amazing tool.

I'm not sure if i should spread word of this (NSFW) product but here we go. Basically, it's a liquid that's meant to smell like a woman's nether region and is eye catching for two reason: One, is the video (can't link directly to it but it's relatively easy to find in their fairly minimalistic site) which is simply indescribable. Two, is the fact that i just acquired an Orange Juicer that has helped me realize how little juice one can extract from a single fruit. Think about it...

(actually, don't. You might die.)


So the world's fucked? I'm still happy.

love it

Sell out

To celebrate my first year of gainful employment, I sold out to electronic Novocaine in the form of a TV and PS3 and together they're shiny as hell. Expect a steep dive in blog performance.

And speaking of gaming, here's a shout out out to all my old school gamers. (Gauntlet 4 Life)



That is all.

2007

was a strange year



(it shan't be forgotten as much as the others)

via Top Gear

The Koenigsegg! Supercars are usually uncool because they’re pretentious, but this one is cool because of the simple fact it’s so dangerous you can go through the Pearly Gates backwards in a fireball; a cool way to die.

(Hammond makes no demur, and enjoys the thought of blasting in there backwards in a flaming Swedish supercar)

I’m here! Where are the women?

good luck getting anything done

in the next 15 minutes

It's cold now

Rather than running, I am lifting. Rather than fiating, I am home-brewing technology

Want to make your OWN 4-cell, palm-sized opponent-blinding flashlight? You're gonna need some J.B. Weld.

fdjkh

Today i shook the hand of the Iron Sheik, a great professional wrestling villain from my youth and what must have been the easiest bad guy to come up with...

{flash back to WWF marketing brainstorm session}
-It's the 80's and we need a bad guy
-Everyone hates foreigners...
-And the Iranians!

Thus was born the Foreign Legion and the Sheiks reign as tag-team champion. (okay, so maybe the Iran stuff happened after the Sheik. Fuck you and your linear sense of time.)

Did i mention that the Sheik was appearing at a local Gentleman's establishment? Because he was and that's where we went to see him. I think he wrestled a 100 women, which was impressive considering his old, feeble and chemically altered state. Either that or he sat in the corner. Eventually he would take center stage and work up the crowd for 15 minutes yelling incoherent rambling about being in Detroit, Wrestlemania Three and the "Toe Chesta" which is how he pronounced "Toy Chest" (the establishment)

Other knowledge dropped by the Sheik:
The Ultimate Warrior engages is sex with men
Jake the Snake is a Jabroni
Junkyard dog was a good man (R.I.P)
The other half of the foreign legion is a well to do, thrifty, man of Jewish decent.

Sadly, there was no mention of or demonstration for the camel clutch but i assure if we'd have been at a better establishment we could have had some visual aids.

regardless, autographs and photos were both 5 dollars so we left with neither.

Later we repeated the typical day before Thanksgiving rituals. Some of it was new, but most of it was not.

When it was over, sometime approximately equal to now, I stood out in the snow. This is the first snow of the year and it was real, frozen, hard enough to bounce of your skin and jacket and make that tell-tale sound, type snow. I stood there for a while and it was very quiet and for some reason it reminded me of this place.

Back to the Absurdity

Much has happened in the last few weeks but nothing noteworthy enough to remember or retell here. So like sitcoms and the girls at the strip club, we'll pretend no time or event has passed since our last encounter.

After an exhaustive on-again, off-again 3 week search, i was finally able to download a copy of the fairly obscure Cherry 2000.

This pleases me.



Cherry 2000 is straight out of the 80's, my youth and the sci-fi robot world that blew my mind as a youngster. It's a fine flick about a man and his live-in robot women (i.e. maid/sex-bot) and his travels through post apocalyptic America to find replacement parts for her. I remember watching this movie with my folks, which thankfully wasn't too uncomfortable as I remember it to be nudity-free.

Time has not been kind to Cherry 2000 but i promise you it's worth watching. At least that's how i remember it. I haven't watched the download yet but it certainly wouldn't be the first time a movie turned out to much more sour than i remember it being... you know, in the 80's.

If nothing else, it should be noted that the Cherry of Cherry 2000 was voted the #1 Gynoid. See it here.

sold!

holy shit

yes, i realize this has become a place for simple recycled internet content, but dammit i'm busy getting my learn on and ripping my muscles.

How did YOU think I lost the Caddy?

it's been a full week

first, something to relax us:


Fedde Le Grand - Put Your Hands Up For Detroit

i can't wait for the future.

today a suited-man suit with a fancy briefcase (the combination of which obviously validates his statements) told me we should mind the conversation where we were. he said big brother was alive and well in this town and it's government buildings were not to be trusted.

"it wouldn't surprise me if they had MICs in those bathrooms."

so we continued our conversation in the parking lot where they may have been able to see us "but likely couldn't hear us"

it seems my business with big brother isn't finished yet.

in these trying times, it's important to stay focused on what's important


Ultra Records: Destination Calabria
those are the tightest formations i've ever seen. this band would do awesome at sectionals

(you want more? i got more. my new goal in life is to become the minister of sound.

remember

"it could all come crashing down"

(thanks Skelert)

we should train more

You lazy Zombie Fucks

New side bar link.

Here's an example of what you might find there, though admittedly, this particular one is better if you've partied with the dutch.

"pops married his job"

more here

through the hills, even

On this date in history, 2007: Sophist runs 10 consecutive sub-10-minute miles; declares entire world "chump."

college is hard

I've finally found a religion i can get behind. (some mutherfuckers always trying to ice skate up hill)

Currently the mac is transferring 50 gig of music from it's native hard drive to the external drive, for as with all mac devices, it runs slower than a arthritic three-legged dog when operating without any free space.

Also, this guy is dead. "I didn't even know his last name."

Finally, now that I'm back in college (your mom says hi. from college. where she goes) It means I'm back in supply of highly entertaining campus watch newsletters.

Enjoy.

Between August 29, 2007 and September 12, 2007 one incident of 'Robbery Not Armed' and two incidents of 'Attempted Robbery Not Armed' have been reported on public streets in close proximity to campus. The incidents have some similarities and are summarized as follows:


Incident #1: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 10:15am
W. Kirby, between Cass and Woodward

A 25 year old female student reports she was putting money in a parking
meter when she felt a "tug" on her purse. She turned and noticed the
below described subject pulling on the purse. The subject punched the
student in the head, knocking her down. He got control of the purse and
fled on a bike, riding east on Kirby and north into the Historical
Museum parking lot, from there unknown. The student had minor
injuries.

Description: Black male, 18-25 years, 6'2" tall, no facial hair, medium
complexion, yellow baggy sweat shirt, dark pants, last seen
riding a 10 speed bike.


Incident #2: Monday, September 10, 2007 1:15pm
W. Warren at North Lodge Service Drive

A 26 year old female student reports she was sitting on the grass
waiting for her ride. There, she was approached by the below described
subject who exposed himself and then tried to snatch the students purse
from her shoulder. The subject was not successful and he fled across
Warren to the shopping plaza parking lot. The student was not injured.

Description: Black Male, 40's, black plain tee shirt, black shorts, no
facial hair, described as being "clean" and not a homeless type.

Incident #3: Wednesday, September 12, 2007 8:00pm
W. Kirby between Cass and Woodward

A 20 year old male student reports he was walking on the sidewalk when
and unknown male grabbed his backpack from behind. The student turned
around and the subject punched him in the mouth. The victim punched the
perpetrator in the face, knocking him to the ground. The student then
fled on foot. The perpetrator obtained nothing and was last seen
laying on the ground. The student was not injured.

Description: Black Male, 25-40 years of age, full beard, wearing a
black baseball hat facing forward, a grey hoodie with black
lettering, dark pants.

PREVENTION TIPS:

To reduce your chances of becoming a robbery victim, we recommend you routinely walk in areas where you can see others and others can see you.
Robbery perpetrators, like any other criminal, don't want to be caught "in the act" of robbing someone. They prefer areas where neither potential victims or witnesses will see them. By staying in populated areas, you increase your chances of never being selected for this type of crime.
Whether you are in the city or the suburbs and you find yourself confronted by a robber, the most important thing that you can do during the incident is to prevent, if possible, any violence. Always assume the robber is armed, even if you can’t see a weapon, and act accordingly. If you are the victim of a robbery, consider these important tips:

• Get it over with quickly. Chances are if you stall, the robber will get
nervous and may be more prone to violence.

• Nothing you have or own is worth getting hurt for. Valuables can be
replaced, you can not.

• Do what the robber asks, but do not volunteer to do anything more. Move
quickly, but carefully to give the robber exactly what they want.

• Do not fight or try any impulsive heroics. The risks are high if the
robber is armed.

• Do not volunteer to go anywhere with the robber or allow them to take
you anywhere. The odds are heavily against you if you allow them to
take you to a secondary crime scene where they have more privacy and
more control over you.

• Do not chase the robber. Carefully note their physical description and
the direction they flee in. If they have a vehicle, note it's type,
color and license plate if possible.

• If you have the opportunity to flee, do so immediately. The robber
wants your property most of all. Drop it or throw in one direction,
then run in the opposite direction, to any area where there may be
other people around.

ouch. my soul.