this is gonna be a long one

First, a retelling of the great race week. There was simply too much data to both communicate and comment on it, so I'll use the simplest, chronological method

Friday Sep 25: completely remove myself from the insanity of daily life, pack, drive to MI, work on car, arriving at Drunk Mike's house sometime near sunset. Though I've spent many days with the car, this is my first time meeting the Race Car, as it now has a full fledged racing roll cage. Spend the rest of the evening building a game plan. Agenda: turn a Celica with a roll cage into a proper race car, and power it all with beer.
Sat Sep 26: Work on car, but fist, shopping. Have tires mounted, buy parts, pick up tires, buy more parts and then the car. 10 hours worth of the car. All culminating with trying to install a set of tires on newly mounted wheels that do not fit the car. And then I drive home to Ohio.
Sun Sep 27: something happened here.. I can’t remember what but I was too busy to study, which is what i really needed to be doing.
Mon Sep 28: Work ½ day, Class ½ day, lab and chores. (that's right mutherfuckers, i have chores. Fuck you.
Tue Sep 29: Work all day and finally get some futile Study time. Listen to "Sweating Bullets" for old time sake.
Wed Sep 30: Take the exam and walk away convinced i have achieved total failure. Not in a dramatic "oh gosh, i did so Terrible," way, but in a literal "i didn't know what to do with those problems" way. This is sickening, considering how much I'm paying for grad school (perfectly good race-car money), but these thoughts are replaced by images of race-car glory.
Thur Oct 1: Pack an SUV to the roof, Drive, Arrive, meet Drunk Mike and the Physicist's Dad who has already set up camp. Mike presents us with our team t-shirts.
Fri Oct 2: RAIN! Terrible, terrible rain. And we're camping in the grass. Everything is wet. Buy canopies, paint the car, install padding, go through tech inspect and BS inspect, install some more lights and take some shake-down laps at night in the rain, which is a good way to make yourself comfortable with wheel to wheel racing in a real quick manner. In my spare time (20ish minutes) tape hood, draw chicken, cut It out, paint chicken, remove rest of tape.
Sat Oct 3: wake up to cold wetness and warm gruel. More painting, dash lights, trip to the parts store for misc and just before the race... DISASTER (#1) main disconnect switch feels like there’s gravel inside it. Cut it apart and find its internals in pieces. Drive to get a new piece, come back and install it just in time to make it to the green flag... Unfortunately at that point someone (who was obviously not there during tech) realizes our harness is installed wrong-ish. DISASTER (#2) Some people at this point curl up in the fetal position and wait sobbing for death. Realizing that righting this will require fabricating new harness brackets, that’s what I did. With a DeWalt grinder named Christina, my favorite 18V cordless drill and some scrap heavy-guage steal I just happen to pack with me, i decide to win one for the Gip'er. For a few moments it looked like the game was over before it had even began but we were running with the pack between 1 and 2 hours after the official 12-noon start. The car was tight and brakes were way oversized for the job. The cornering was impressive for all-season tires and it turns out tire-wear was absolute minimum. Stos and Johnny moto show up and high fives are exchanged, mostly to appease the mustache. Around 6pm, DISASTER (#3) Mike comes in and we notice the brake reservoir is empty. Turns out the brakes lines under body are rusted and decided to brake. We go to store, we patch, we brake another line, we patch again. 3 hours lost but return to the track by 9, never to break again.
Sun Oct 4:I am elected to pilot the car for the final laps and 4 aps into the final stint, I go off the track but keep it under control after losing it at 60. this is an immediate black flag typically punished by 30 minutes in the corner but I talk my way out of it, but i think the mustache did most of the talking. Celebratory beers are handed out and one set of brand new all season tires were only ~50% used up.
Mon Oct 5: Exam Back, 100%. Turns out I am good at everything.




A lot of people have been asking me "Hey Mr. Reynolds, what's it like to be in a 24 Hours of Lemons race?" I say "well young lady, it's a lot like this:"

ALMS: Patron Highcroft Petit Le Mans Rebuild from GrandTouringPrototype.com on Vimeo.

Best tattoo ever? Yes




Finally, proof that cars trump women:



(I know, it's not true... silly Frenchmen)

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Sid: You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.

Duane: Oh, come on.

Sid: Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.

Duane: It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.

Sid: It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You've got Maverick, all right? He's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line, all right? And you've got Iceman, and all his crew. They're gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they're saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.

Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?

Sid: Kelly McGillis, she's heterosexuality. She's saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They're saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what's going on throughout that whole movie... He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they're going to have sex, you know, they're just kind of sitting back, he's takin' a shower and everything. They don't have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She's like, "What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?" Next scene, next scene you see her, she's in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She's got the cap on, she's got the aviator glasses, she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy's going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I'll do that through subterfuge, I'm gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it. Okay, now let me just ask you - I'm gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she's like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right? All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they're beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it's over, and they fucking land, and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!" And what does Maverick say? "You can ride mine!" Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin' A, man!


I hope this counts as a valid update. Stay tuned for pictures from the event, but be warned, other than some facial hair there's nothing too spectacular.